We move in 28 days. Twenty. Eight.

We went from just looking to owning a new home so fast that I think I’ve now began having cold feet. I’ve started panicking, thinking we can’t afford it, we didn’t think it through, we jumped in too fast. But when everything is said and done, I remember that I LOVE the house and the possibilities are endless once we save a little more for the renovations we have in mind.

With our enormous childcare bill each month, we’re now going to be in a tight financial bind for the next 12 months, but we knew that going in. It’s just a little daunting thinking that we’re putting out a HUGE portion of our income in childcare and mortgage costs alone.

Welcome to big city living.

I’m managing my house, my children, my job, the packing, the purging, the lawyers, the realtor, our bank, my business and I can’t seem to find enough time to do everything. I’m staying up later, getting up later (meaning narrowly being late for work each day) and lacking any semblance of normalcy at the moment.

Though I find it extremely nerve-racking, I am better at organizing, prioritizing and more productive. (Not that you could tell from the state of my house at the moment because HOLY. SHIT. it’s a mess.)

I’m stressed.

So stressed.

I worry, I over think, I compare, I am pessimistic and I can’t stand when Someone* is not doing as much as I think they should. I get upset and angry; I lash out at Someone when Someone comes home late from work even though I know Someones hands are tied. I know what the construction industry is like, yet I feel this resentment and anger that I am on the short end of the stick all the time.

(The next three paragraphs had turned into a woe is me rant about how hard done by I am so I erased them…everyone’s problems are significant to them and really? I have nothing to complain about at the moment. Things are on the up swing and we’re moving to a new house with a POOL!! I can’t complain. I’m just stressed and closing in on my capacity of handling things somewhat efficiently before I start dropping balls.)

((Moving day hasn’t even arrived yet.))

(((Or BlogHer.)))

((((When I asked Mike what he would take care of the weekend I was away at BlogHer he said “Well, I’m not packing or anything. I have two kids! How do you expect me to get anything done?”))))

(((((I replied with manic laughter.)))))

((((((He got mad at me.))))))

((((((Someone bring me some Xannax at BlogHer please?))))))

__________________________

*Someone who shall remain nameless because apparently I’ve been nagging and harping a lot. It doesn’t feel like nagging or harping when that person’s name is not associated with the nagging words so it’s better this way. Says I.

As I sit back and watch my two boys I can see some noticeable similarities, but majority of their behaviours are vastly different. I am amazed by the fact that even in appearance, the boys are strikingly different yet I gave birth to both.

Carter, I am finding, is far more high strung, dramatic, and very sensitive to change. He’s active, curious, and loving. Even since he was very young, he’s been a challenge trying … keep reading »

I hate age four.

We’re technically not there yet, so I hate age 3.8333333333…

We’ve reached the crossroads between independence and needing mommy for everything and it ain’t pretty people.

As of late, everything has been a fight. Questions and defiance all the time. It’s almost as if he’s mocking my authority, because seriously? Killing me.

This morning for instance: Carter kept insisting that today was Thursday not Wednesday. As much as I’d like him to be correct, … keep reading »

I couldn’t tell you how I found her, but Casey and I hit it off almost immediately. I can recall one of our first lengthy conversations being into the wee hours of the morning as I tried valiantly to save Teh Internets after Casey had been poking around in her design files. Her amazing wit and humour made me cry tears of laughter as we worked our way through. That lady, she’s quite funny … keep reading »

We’ve owned our new home for all of, what? Maybe 96 hours and I have the entire thing mentally renovated and updated to my really-really-really-must-have-but-likely-can’t-afford standards.

Including my Electrolux appliances. *ahem* Hear that Electrolux? I did my part. I got the house. Now pony up. Please. (Pretty please.)

Mike and I already disagree on just about everything. He hates hardwood, I LOVE hardwood. He thinks a stand alone bathtub – reclaimed claw foot tub – is … keep reading »

There’s reall not much to say today.

My heart is with two fathers.

NYCWD lost his Puppy Monster 2 years ago today.

Mike at Newborn Identity lost his Maddie Moo just over 2 months ago.

Go send them some love.

I consider myself a good friend. I mean, I’m not the greatest friend; I slip up once and a while as I’m sure many do. I don’t return phone calls, I have been known to bail on gatherings or functions. I’ve been weeks late visiting a friend’s new baby. No matter my personal flaws (of procrastination and down-right laziness), I am a very passionate friend. I put my whole self into a relationship but … keep reading »

I sat on my bed crying, I refused to get change out of my pajamas. I didn’t want to go. I didn’t want to face them again. My mom begged and pleaded with me to just get dressed. She was later for work as each second ticked past, yet I still would not budge.

My brother, stood before me, tears streaked down his face, clutching my mom’s waist he begged her to let us stay … keep reading »