Toys, sugar and NOISE was dropped off here.

I think a toy store just barfed in my house. My living room is now fully converted into a messy array of colours. There’s toys every-where. Leggo blocks strewn about, loud blinking, singing and dancing toys. Blocks and cubes strategically placed like land mines; it’s everywhere.

The greatest thing about the gifts that Carter received this year? Note the sarcasm people. Many of them do not have on and off switches. What the hell kind of company makes a damn noisy toy with no on and off switch? Bastards. It’s a conspiracy I tell you. I think we have every toy on this GD beautifully sadistic planet that doesn’t have a fuckin’ switch.

The greatest thing is when you even step within a foot of it, the fuckin’ thing goes through the whole damn song and dance before peace and quite. Then Carter finds it amusing and remembers that it makes noise and wants to play with it as I have my arm half cocked to throw it across the room.

I have a hit list of people that I will reap the rewards of their stupidity. People that will suffer through the ear piercing songs, bright lights. I will steal their silence and make. them. pay.

I’ve collected a few random search hits over the past few weeks, thought I would share some…

To the person searching for “If we’re all God’s children, what makes Jesus so special?” it’s right here. I posted about Carter’s trip to see the mall Santa; and what a trip that was. That was when I was decked out in festive Christmas cheer. Those days are so over. But I never did get an answer to that question…

How about you sista? “go nuts in afternoon with toddler” I so hear ya. Though, not sure what directed you to moi!? I never go nuts when I am home alone struggling to enjoying finding things for my son and I to do together. I can’t think of one day that I have gone “nuts” per say. Maybe mad, crazy, delusional, insane, batty, mental are better words to describe the love I have for being home with an overactive toddler. Is that even what you were wondering about?

Hey you! Why would you be looking here for “Britney’s lady parts“? How would we pick the same descriptive words for her va-jay-jay? I tried and tried to think of something that would avoid the hoards of perverts looking for a glimpse of Brit’s birdy and you found it! Gold star for you!

And the person searching for “Temporarily”…temporarily what? What are you looking for? There are a number of things that are temporarily… closed, open, moved, me??

There were quite a few other good ones that I had before the Christmas holidays, but they seemed to have moved on. I know there were a couple for song titles; Bing Crosby’s version of “Baby It’s Cold Outside” was one of them. Hope they found out that he didn’t sing that song. Everybody and their brother has sang that song, ‘cept Bing .

I’ll save some good ones for ya, promise.. I just love to see the stuff that people search for!

My renter this week is Sunflower! Go say hi, play nice. I. said. PLAY. NICE!
She’s got some great tidbits of information on her site, some useful, some just interesting… go read!!

AND she’s made a pledge to exercise for 1 minute for every comment she gets, so get over there and tell her what you think! Nicely now. We want to make friends people! Get her going; make a comment!

Sent the kid to daycare today. We’re not working, just vegging.. like good parents. I thought, hell, I have to pay for this week anyway, why not send him and let him have some fun with his friends? Let someone else change his ass for the day. Carter’s a great kid, don’t get me wrong, and I love hanging out and playing with him… but we’re both just getting over our Christmas illness and I don’t feel like entertaining a toddler today. I pay people to do that.

Merry Christmas friends!

I hope it was everything you wanted and more. For me. Not so much. I was up barfing my guts out all night Christmas Eve. I was so sick, it was horrible; I am not a fan of throwing up as it is, so it was worse for me. And nothing says sick like praying to the porcelain God in a public washroom. Yes. That. Was. Me. Barfing up my everything into the toilet of the Swiss Chalet. Fabulous! Ugh. It’s a wonderful thing, heaving everything you have into public toilet.
Oh, the better pat of the story; on our way home from the restaurant… I told Mike that I wasn’t going to make it. As always, he assumes that I am exaggerating and I end up throwing up all over the inside of my precious car. I love this car, and now it’s been stained with the chicken soup vomit from the restaurant. Mike did his best to clean it up in the dark, but there are still few areas that must be redone. Ugh.

Once I got home, I begged him to run to the all night Shopper DrugMart and get some Gravol. As I have mentioned numerous times before. I. Hate. Throwing. Up. I would rather have explosive diarrhea then vomit; no such luck for me though.
I took about half a package of pills and went to bed for the night, and they didn’t do their magic; I was up half the night heaving nothingness once again.

Christmas Day was a tad better. The Gravol stayed down which was bonus, and I made it to Christmas dinner. A little weak and tired, but I was there. Today, I feel 100%. So far. I got tons of sleep last night and I’m ready to enjoy what’s left of the holidays.

So, tell me. What id you get? Did you have a great family dinner? Where you ready to rip anyone’s eyeballs out of their heads? Conspiracies of murder? Dish it!

Parents are gone. Hallelujah! My mom, God love her, is a person I can only take in small doses lately. I know she means well, and I know that she loves me and I love her dearly, but she can be so damn critical. Always critiquing something and has an opinion about everything. It can get real old real quick. I was so relived that she and my step-dad went to grab some last minute items for our Christmas dinner yesterday; I needed a breather from her before I bit someone’s head off. As hard as it is to have them here and visit, I’m always sad to see them go. Plus Carter really loves to see them, and that makes it all worth it. Right?

We have yet another family get-together tonight. My dad, and step-mom have a tradition of taking us to Swiss Chalet on Christmas Eve every year. Not sure how it started really, but it’s alright by me, I like it! Yum! I’m gonna be about 55lbs heavier by the time this holiday is over. I can’t believe the amounts of food we have been eating over the last three days and it’s only Christmas Eve!

Tomorrow is also Mike’s Birthday. Poor guy has never really had a birthday; he said as he was growing up everyone usually forgot that it was his birthday because they were so wrapped up in Christmas stuff; he had years of being overlooked and having to celebrate his birthday earlier in the month on his sister’s birthday. Not fair! I think that’s why he’s so cynical and just doesn’t give a shit about holidays and birthdays.
So since I met him, we have made an extra special effort to remember and celebrate his birthday. He gets birthday cakes, and gifts for his specifically for his birthday. He’s just starting to come around. He pretends that he doesn’t care, but I know he appreciates that I make an effort. Dammit. He better appreciate it!

Merry Christmas to you and yours. May you enjoy the company of your loved ones and get every thing you ever wanted!

xoxoxox

Cheers!