I really am becoming emotionally drained in my marriage. I feel like I have just had enough some days. I just can’t take it. He makes me hate him, I think he does it on purpose sometimes.
The past couple months have been a power struggle over sleeping in, it’s such a petty thing to fight about, but EVERY weekend we fight about it. Who gets to sleep in what day and for how long.. EVERY weekend we fight about it. And if I sleep longer then he does, he warrants that as a reason that he gets to have a mid day nap. He drives me fuckin’ mental.
So this being a long weekend and Saturday we agreed that we’d get up together because there was a lot to of before my work friends arrived. He agreed that he would get up and help.
Carter wakes up at 7:30 normally. Well, DH thought that it would be nice to wake me up earlier – like 6:45 because he wanted to get some. I shot him down, said, Fuck off leave me alone. LOL THEN I can’t get back to sleep. So when Carter wakes up, I tell Mike that he has to get up now because he have stuff to do that he said he would help with. He yells at me that it’s his day to sleep in and he never gets to sleep in. I tell him to fuck off and I leave the room. I give Carter a bottle in his crib and quick jump in the shower. I am usually out by the time he finishes the bottle so no biggy. But today he didn’t want to finish it and was screaming in his crib so Mike got up to get him. Yells at me again because “So much for my day to sleep in.” I get Carter and leave the room. Take him to the living room to play and I begin my chores. 3 HOURS later at about 10:30 Mike gets his ass out of bed…. bitching that he got no sleep because we are so fuckin’ loud. Well, if we’re so fuckin’ loud why were you in bed for an additional 3 HOURS!? Dumb ass.
THEN Sunday he gets up, no complaints… you know why? Because he invited his friend over and my brother later Saturday night, and I ended up staying up until 3am hosting while Mike fucked off to bed at 1am!
Today, seeing it’s only fair, I say that we BOTH get up, we both had a sleep in day and so today we get up together. Well he had a fit… I never got to fuckin’ sleep in on Saturday because you’re so fuckin’ loud (yes, he curses this much, usually more I’m cutting stuff out.) So I say “Whatever.” and leave the room, gather Carter and go to the living room. I make us all breakfast as Mike comes downstairs, turns on the TV – to go to sleep on the living room couch (this is about 8:00am) !!! He eats it and goes back to the couch. I leave him to lie on the couch and Carter plays around the room.
I clean up, shower and go outside to paint. I painted until 3pm – Mike sat infront of the TV the ENTIRE time. Carter played alone ALL day. He tried to lie and say that he played with him – I WAS OUTSIDE THE LIVING ROOM WINDOW THE ENTIRE TIME! I saw EVERYTHING!!!
So about 5:30 comes along – TV STILL on. I tell him to turn it off. BOTH their brains are going to be fried from sitting there, and yes, Carter is watching the entire time too – Mike’s ENCOURAGING it! I am livid that they’ve been there ALL day.
I want the TV off so that Carter can eat without it on. (you can see it from where his highchair sits.
Mike swears his head off at me saying that I am always nagging and controlling and just to leave him the fuck alone. (that’s the NICE version)
I tell him if it’s that bad to leave. I’m not keeping him here and we’re fine on our own anyway. I mean fuck, the guy watched TV all day….did NOTHING else.
He says “Whatever Sam, fuck off” I tell him that it’s time for him to get an out of town job or something, he needs to leave for a while, I can’t take it anymore and that I don’t see our marriage surviving if it stays like this. I can’t handle it and I hate being mad and fighting in front of Carter all the time.
He’s been in our room since. I think he’s fallen asleep now.
He makes me sooooooooo furious! We’ve always had bad mouths to each other, the cussing isn’t what bothers me, it’s his lack of respect for me, his deep lack of enthusiasm for a child that he pressured me for, and his laziness. It all together makes me detest him sometimes.
I am ripping my hair out trying to deal with him some days. I want to pick up my shit, take my kid and leave… never see him again… then other days I love him to pieces and can’t imagine life without him.
These to DRASTIC extremes can’t be good. They really can’t. And sadly, I can’t see myself married to this man for much longer if it’s going to carry on like this.
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