I hate having to share

I dread daycare. I just dread it.

I don’t want to share my baby. I don’t want someone else to be there when he’s hurt or sad. I don’t want to find out about his new firsts and I don’t want to be told about his day. I want to be there for it all.

It’s getting harder and harder as the day approaches. For me, not for Carter. He doesn’t seem to mind it at all, though he tends to be alone most of the time and not playing with the other children. When we arrived today and everyone said “Hi Carter” he got a huge smile on his face and wanted down right away.
I love that they are so inviting and really good with him. I just HATE it!

I hate having to tell everyone his schedule and making sure that he has this and not forget that. I am REALLY laidback about a lot of stuff and don’t care about little things – like dirty clothes, paint, mud, etc.. but I just feel like I shoudn’t have to leave my child with a stranger and them have to learn everything about him and get to know him better then I do.

I hate that I feel this way. I wanted this transition to be so easy. I wanted to think that I wasn’t going to cry and that I’m not going to be sitting at my desk bawling when I get to work. I know it’s going to be so bad… and that’s making it worse.
I hate everyone asking me how I’m feeling and if I’m ready and saying “it’s not that bad” when they know it is. *sigh*

I’m gonna be a complete wreck and I hate it. I don’t want to try and I don’t want to think about it.