I was just in bed – I thought for the night… but I started thinking about work and daycare – mostly daycare – and started bawling my eyes out. I don’t know if I can do this. I am so broken up about it the past 2 days and knowing that it’s Tuesday morning that everything’s changing again is making me feel sick. I just broke down. I couldn’t help it, I was crying so hard I have a headache again. So here I am.. at the computer, trying not to think about it anymore. But it’s always there.
I thought about it last night after getting back to my friend’s house after the night out. In my drunken state I cried and cried about it. I know I was carrying on for a while. (I have a good friend that has her little girl in daycare and went through the same thing and I was crying to her about it.) Pathetic really. LOL I can laugh about it now…but it still really bothers me.
I keep typing about it, the same thing over and over for every blog. I know this is going to consume me for a while. I just hope that I can do it. I don’t want to make Carter more dependent because I am having separation anxiety when he’s adjusting so well! I don’t want to be distraught and upset Tuesday, I want him to know that everything is alright, and not to be sad because I am.
Here I go crying again…. *sigh*
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