So…. I had a dream last night. About an “ex” from high school. I say “ex” because we never really were boyfriend and girlfriend… something on the side while he was part of another relationship. *ahem* Yes, I was “the other woman”. I know, I know… horrible… I think so too… but it was years ago and I wouldn’t change it… okay, a little, I would have been “the woman”.

He was someone that I have always thought of as my first love. I didn’t realize he was until I was actually in love with someone else, that yes, that’s what I was feeling.
I wrote him an email about 3 years ago and told him. Stupid I know, but we were still pretty close and had a good friendship. That has all seemed to have disappear - and no it wasn’t because of the email. It seems to have all disappeared around the time that I told him I was getting married.. then really disappeared when I told him that I was having a baby.
We’ve had little conversations back and forth, but it’s all seemed forced and un-natural. Really sad actually. This person is so great, and I had such a great time with him.. it’s sad the way one’s life takes a turn and everything you thought you had is gone in an instant. Well, not really instant, but it feels that way.

So anyway, I had a dream about him last night.. and it seems that about every 6 months when he’s not in my thoughts my dreams happen and bring him back to the fore front. I really am not sure what that means, and have from time to time, been freaked out about it. Is this something that I should be paying attention to? Is my mind telling me not to forget, and not to stop thinking about him. I’m not sure, I have no idea actually. But it’s been happening for at least the last 6 years… is it a coincidence that that’s how long Mike and I have been together? Not sure about that one either.