Here I sit, I can hear Carter playing in the living room but I have no desire to go in there and entertain. How sad is that? I hardly ever see him anymore with daycare and work and all, and today I just feel like vegging and not paying attention. Mommy of the Year award for me again. I feel guilty, yet I still sit here and type.

I am enjoying a Cafe Mocha from Tim Horton’s, I don’t care how many points it is either, I really wanted it. I’ve never had one from Tim’s before and I was waiting in line for my trusted Large Double Double and spotted the Cafe Mocha. It won’t be a regular drink, but it’s alright for a try.

Carter and I just got back from the mall. I had to finally take my dress to get it altered because I have lost about 13lbs (I like to round it up to 15lbs though, LMAO) and it needed to be taken in. Another 50 bucks towards this wedding. *sigh* I swear I have spent more on this wedding as a bridesmaid then I did my own wedding - okay, OVERLY exaggerated, but you get my point. The total is about $500 now - with buying the dress, alterations, parties and gifts, hair, nails, make up… drinks…the hotel… it just keeps going.. it’s actually making me wish I wasn’t part of the wedding.. though I wouldn’t give it up for ANYTHING! I love my friend to pieces and would do anything for her… but it’s just a horrible time for us financially and I am panicing everytime I have to pay for another thing…

So, here I sit with my Cafe Mocha. It’s really good. Carter’s still playing alone and I still feel guilty.

I am still debating if I should open this blog to the public.. but I think my biggest fear is family finding their way to it.. though, I know they probably could right now, I am just not aiding them, know what I mean? It’s not like I have said anything horrible or rude about my family yet. But it’s nice to have a private spot that I can write and not worry that I’m going to get a call from my mom or my dad about something I wrote. I have my other blog for them…