Today seems like the LONG-EST day. Ever.

Carter was up at 6:30 this morning I know it’s sleeping in for other children, but it’s early around here. This day feels like it’s never going to end. Ever.
I’ve cleaned, done laundry, baked banana bread, watched my TV shows that were on the DVR, and even gone for a walk – and it’s now only 3:00pm. All while Mike played about five – count ‘em; FIVE hours of computer games. That’s a whole other rant which could be incriminating -the thoughts that have been running through my mind, so I best not post about it.

Carter is still going. Nap time this morning was a Godsend. Truly. He’s full throttle the entire time that he’s awake and it’s only going to get better from what I’ve heard.
And does that kid ever have his dad played? It’s so bad. Mike tries to put him down for a nap and Carter cries and holds on – like we’re selling him off in the underground black market of child labour. Mike always feels so bad, and can’t put him down. Played I tell you. Putty in his hands. That kid has a gift. (As I write this, Mike is trying for the second time to put him to bed). He’s just screamin’! Am I sadistic because I find this funny? *grin*

Don’t you find that husbands (or significant others) try and be such hardasses when it comes to bedtime, and discipline, yet they are such softies when they actually have to do it? Played. That’s my husband. Totally played. I should be bowing down to Carter; he’s only been here a year and has this guy down pat already.

Oh, and #10 of this weeks TT - let me say – SICK! I found a really old bottle under our bed. Not sure how long it’s been there… I was tempted to throw it out, but Mike was all “Don’t throw it out, just put it in the dishwasher, it’ll be fine.” So we’ll see how “fine” it is.

p.s. Mike’s gone back to get Carter again. I am in awe of this child.

I have been having major issues with my preception of myself lately. I don’t know if it’s the fact that I haven’t come to terms with my new found baby-body. The muffin top that no matter what you do, will forever remain folded over the top of my pants. I have tried Spanx and that is a nightmare I am NOT willing to relive. Not EVER. Lose 10lbs in 10 seconds my ass; it takes longer to get into the damn things!
I have been breaking out more when Aunt Flow comes. I haven’t done that for years. Then I realized, maybe it’s because my BC method has changed. Great. Wonderful. I love having pimples.
The weight gain, that I am still trying to fight. I have been doing great, and have lost 15lbs so far.. but there is that last 15 or so that I am hanging on to – and it’s not by choice. Ugh.

Then…. I saw this… I know it’s been all over… but I want it here too… it makes me feel better. And what I say goes, it’s my blog. *grin*

I have to write a technical paper for work. It’s going to be a presentation at a huge – I mean HUGE – conference in Boston next year. I may have to actually present it. Did I ever mention how I feel about public speaking?

I hate public speaking. I get hot, sweaty, and red (like a tomatoe); I feel nauseous, I stutter, I hate it. It seems as though this may be something I am going to have to work on getting over. And fast.

I write reports, emails, and letters everyday but there is something much more intimidating about a technical paper. This is all new to me. Sure I wrote papers back in college, but those papers where just thrown together in a drunken haze just to get a mark. This paper, I have to present in front of the industry’s top people; know-it-all engineers. That’s scary, and very intimidating!

I know I am not the most well written person. I try and I get my point across (I hope), but I wouldn’t say that I would make it as a journalist or anything. While I think about trying to accomplish this paper, all I am going to think about is all the know-it-alls that will be critiquing me quietly.

It’s a year away and I can already feel the knots growing, I can feel the fear escalating.

This is something to look forward to. HELP!!

I have been in and out of consciousness the past three days going on minimal sleep with Carter being sick. I think he’s forgotten that AT NIGHT TIME WE SLEEP! Poor kid’s fever just broke yesterday evening; 103F is something scary, especially when it stays that way for two and half days. He’s been up in the middle of the night for the past three nights and every time Mike goes and brings him to our room. What the fuck!? I’ve told him numerous times that this makes the situation WORSE, not better.
So last night, as Carter screamed and screamed I thought pleasant thoughts and while trying to ignore him. Is that even possible? Then Mike (the most patient person that he is) gets up and brings him to our bed; so much for letting him cry it out.
When I finally clue into what’s going on, I bolt up and point at him. “No, no, no, no, no. You’re not bringing him in our bed.” I sound like such a evil no-good mother. I just know that once Carter’s feeling better he’s gonna want to sleep in our bed all the time, and I’m just not fine with that. I don’t even want to sleep with Mike half the time, let alone a kicking and squirming 1 year old.

I need sleep to dammit!

I’m actually very excited because my dear, dear friend from elementary school told me last night that they are expecting their second child, and another friend is “trying” and another *thinks* she may be pregnant. I have been having baby fever for the longest time and it was compounded by my friends trying.. but after these last couple days of a sick child; I’m thinking of putting these eggs on ice.

I finally got the blogroll on. I have been sitting on it far too long and waiting for gawd knows what, but it’s up and I am now a blogging chick!

I just had a thought a month or so ago that I should open my blog to the public. I thought that *maybe* it would be something that other people would enjoy. Maybe it would go somewhere. And maybe just maybe it would turn into something more. I had short lived thoughts of being paid to do this someday (as I’m sure many have thought before).

Though, in the short time that it’s been open, I just can’t believe the number of hits I have had. Even though the comments are still lacking *hint, hint*, the hits are coming. In the few short weeks that I have had the new template and had the blog open, I have had just over 1000 hits! I can’t believe it, I thought it would have taken longer. Though, since I am still pretty new to this, I don’t know if that’s really that great at all. Could be someone refreshing the page over and over *ahem*.

But I guess I wanted to say thank you! Thank you for stopping by and reading, and don’t forget to COMMENT! Don’t be shy, I like comments! They make me feel warm and fuzzy.

Poor poor Capitan Poopypants was worse throughout the day yesterday. After his mid-day nap we took him to a walk-in clinic to see a doctor and his ear infection has returned as well as the discharge from his eyes. He also has a fever of 103F. Poor little dude.

So, he’s home from daycare today (again) with his gramps and grammy. Luckily we have a backup or my work would be just losing it about now. I think this is the fourth time since September, when I returned to work, that he’s been home. In eight weeks of daycare, he’s missed 4 days because of being sick. I knew it would be bad when he went into a centre, but this bad.
Mike and I have never really been people to be sick either, we’ve always been the kinda people that get sick and wait it out and deal with it. Avoid doctors. But now we’re getting everything; I have been sick with this damn cold for 2 weeks now and just getting over it. Still avoiding going to the doctor for myself, but just can’t do that for a 14 month old. Maybe if he was older I would tell him to suck it up, but I just can’t at this age.

The worst is knowing that you’re child is sick and in pain and there be nothing you can do to take that away. You can cuddle until you’re blue in the face, but that doesn’t relieve the ear ache and doesn’t take the cough away. I never thought that I would feel so helpless and out of control in these situations.

When he woke last night, I sat with him in the rocking chair and just watched him as he drifted in and out of sleep. I began tearing up (okay, weeping) thinking that I have to just sit here and watch my baby be in pain and there really is nothing I can do. I can try and keep him comfortable, but aside from that, I am at a loss. That’s, I think, one of the worst feelings I’ve experienced so far.