Toys, sugar and NOISE was dropped off here.

I think a toy store just barfed in my house. My living room is now fully converted into a messy array of colours. There’s toys every-where. Leggo blocks strewn about, loud blinking, singing and dancing toys. Blocks and cubes strategically placed like land mines; it’s everywhere.

The greatest thing about the gifts that Carter received this year? Note the sarcasm people. Many of them do not have on and off switches. What the hell kind of company makes a damn noisy toy with no on and off switch? Bastards. It’s a conspiracy I tell you. I think we have every toy on this GD beautifully sadistic planet that doesn’t have a fuckin’ switch.

The greatest thing is when you even step within a foot of it, the fuckin’ thing goes through the whole damn song and dance before peace and quite. Then Carter finds it amusing and remembers that it makes noise and wants to play with it as I have my arm half cocked to throw it across the room.

I have a hit list of people that I will reap the rewards of their stupidity. People that will suffer through the ear piercing songs, bright lights. I will steal their silence and make. them. pay.