It’s a PSA if you will. Girls, I’ve got a great, yet absolutely disturbing, way to get your man to stop, momentarily, begging for sex. I don’t know how we got on the topic, but it works. It really works!

I warned you, it’s a little disturbing.

Mention something pertaining to his arse-hole. Really! Sick, I know; but it works.

Mike has been constantly bombarding me with requests for sex. Lately, I just haven’t been in the mood - less then normal; I have a feeling it has to do with my medication lowering my libido. Every night when he gets home from work it’s the same old story. Not How was your day honey? Not You look pretty. It’s ALWAYS, Wanna have sex? And I can’t stand it; nothing puts me in a shittier mood the that. I can understand that my hottest is decidedly overwhelming, but it’s a little ridiculous.

We were having a conversation one night and it came to “going down south”, as it usually does since that’s all he thinks about; and no, I don’t mean Florida. Being that I am so lady like and never say or do anything offensive or vulgar *cough, cough* I blurted out about licking his ass crack.
I have NEVER seen a man so turned off. Child birth had nothing on this. Nothing. The look was positively priceless. Oh, like he’s never thought something so horrendous before. Please.

So, now, my escape from sex? Talk about licking out his ass crack. He stops dead in his tracks and turns away. Every. single. time. Seriously girls. This is paramount!
Now, just picture it; if you’re actually more womanly and proper then me, and your husband isn’t a total freak in bed this will work magic. Absolute magic.

(I can’t believe I posted this. God, I pray that no one in my family EVER finds this blog.)

P.S. The house of shits and pukes are not quite in the clear yet. Carter was sent home because of two diarrheas today and I haven’t been feeling shit hot lately either. Oh, I hope this passes. I can’t stand the thought of more vomit.