March 24th, 2007
Exhaustion has sent in. I think I’ve actually overextended myself to the point where my body has decided to defy my requests to function.
Yesterday at work I was overcome with dizziness and couldn’t stop yawning; I pushed through the entire day only to crash on the floor at 8pm after bingeing on enough Swiss Chalet to actually be overwhelmed with the desire to purge everything (it’s a run-on and I like it that way). Yes, I crashed on the floor since Mike had staked his claim to the couch as he does every (Friday) night.
I was able to overlook his selfishness, as he let me sleep until 9:30 this morning! Glorious 9:30. I was in heaven. I haven’t slept for 13.5 consecutive hours in nearly 3 years. What an absolute blessing that was; and I’m ready to head back to bed for a nap right now.
I utterly love sleep. I crave it all the time. I think about it incessantly. Disturbing me from my peaceful slumber is considered worthy of death by incessant nagging and bitching for the remainder of the day. Ask my husband. I am not someone that can force out of bed, against my will, then function in a pleasant and peaceful manner.
And for that reason, I don’t know why I had a child; I knew that once it arrived I would be forced to forgo sleep as well as be awaken forcefully by a little being who would inevitably wake with the rising of the sun.
Who I was kidding when I actually thought that Carter would play peacefully in his crib until I was ready to get up and face the day? Once he’s awake, it’s for good. If I attempt to catch a few more minutes of sleep, it’s disturbed by the crib banging against the wall as he jumps up and down screaming “Maaaaaaa!“.
Yesterday morning, as I fought off utter exhaustion, I was awaken in regular fashion. Shrills and screams. I dragged my ass into his room, with bottle in hand. While rubbing sleep from my half open eyes I cursed him for being an early riser, like his father. I walked into the room to see him holding the baby monitor to his mouth and screaming “Maaaaaaaa!” (We haven’t used that thing as a monitor in ages; it’s a globe that also lights up so we use it for a night light).
He smiled as he diverted his gaze from the glowing globe, which had fallen to the ground, and said, “Hi Ma-ma!” with arms outstretched.
He doesn’t get his morning charm from me, that’s for sure; but it’s enough to transform me from an utterly hateful bitch into just a regular catty bitch.
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