June 5th, 2007
Because everything in her home is waterproof, the housewife of 2000 can do her daily cleaning with a hose. - from a 1950’s issue of Popular Mechanics
For serious?! A waterproof house that can be hosed down!?
What the shit!? Why haven’t I known about this until now?
For shame.
As I sit here, I am taunted by my filthy kitchen floor, beckoning for a wash, I am contemplating the hose. Seriously. I hate washing the floor.
There’s MUCH better things I’d rather be doing on my knees.
It’s just one of those tasks I just dread; kinda like putting away laundry. I am deemed to fail every time, destitute, absolutely hopeless.
I am far from a good housekeeper; surprisingly, really, since I hate filth.
Dishes will make it to the dishwasher, the kitchen will be cleaned, laundry washed.. but I fall short.
Yes, the clothes are clean, but they are strewn about the spare room as we fumble through the piles every morning in search for an article.
The bathroom counter appears clean, but is really only wiped with a Clorox cloth.
The stove? I haven’t cleaned out that oven ONCE since we moved here. In fact, I wipe the top of the stove off into the oven! Yup, all the crumbs are burnt to the bottom of my oven. If I’m lucky, they may have been completely incinerated by now. To tell you the truth I believe there may be reminisce still there of apple pie from Christmas.
Sad state of affairs in this house people. Sad.
But seriously!? A waterproof house!? They can develop a Roomba but not a waterproof house! Oh the humanity! (I really like Roombas. I want one. Please send money! Holy shit! A floor washing Scooba?! SEND MONEY NOW! My child’s health depends on YOU!) *ahem*
BUT before you call child services. The kid is fed, dressed and happy. The mess is hidden and somewhat concealed.
You’re efforts would be wasted. I can put on a good front.
Plus my stats counter will tell me where you are… if there’s a flaming bag of poop on your doorstep… it wasn’t me.
I want to hear your cleaning secrets… spill it in the comments people! Where do you cut corners?
14 Comments
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Hmm. I don’t really dust so much as I wipe things down with whatever fabric is available at the time — a bib, a Kleenex, my shirt…
(I hate dusting. And I rarely clean the oven.)
June 5th, 2007 at 8:47 pm
Funny how the housewife of 2000 is hosing down her home in the fashions of 1950. By now, all our homes should be gigantic dishwashers. Go outside, press the button, wait an hour, and walk in to perfect clean EVERYTHING! If they can do it with port-a-potties, they can do it with my condo!
June 5th, 2007 at 11:03 pm
You could have washed the floor in the time it took you to post this rant
June 6th, 2007 at 6:00 am
Cleaning. Meh. As long as it’s live-able and somewhat cleaned… all will be well.
I’ve found though that since I like to watch my shows at night that nothing ever got done. Laundry was piled high, dishes were just…gross and floors neede to be swept/washed/vacuumed, endless laundry needed to be put away (as ours too, was piled high in the 2nd bedroom)… and finally, it just gets to the point where you can’t. take. it. any. more. and it gets done. Now, I’ve started since I like to watch my shows - get up in between commercials. It’s amazing at what you can get done. By the time the shows are done, you could have most of your house cleaned!!
And, the oven - oh, I didn’t touch that thing the whole year and a half we lived at our townhome. Meh… I’ll let the landlords hit the self clean button. It was just laziness on my part…
Now that we’re at my parents now putting away money - all we have to worry about is laundry and dishes here and there. And, we have to keep up with that stuff or my mother will strangle us.
Sorry for the book!
June 6th, 2007 at 8:14 am
Have you ever sat on a washable couch (remember gumby furniture)? I have and it’s not pretty.
June 6th, 2007 at 11:16 am
**ahem** my cleaning lady that comes every other Tuesday **hangs head in shame**
Seriously! No tips! Same routine–each morning: make our beds, sweep the kitchen, vacuum the carpet, set out dinner to defrost, throw a load of laundry in the washer…takes 15 - 20 minutes.
The rest gets done as I have time or can no longer stand it…and then there is the cleaning lady LOL
June 6th, 2007 at 11:17 am
I’m like you. Exactly. ;0)
June 6th, 2007 at 6:53 pm
well, I am the wrong person to be talking to. Im OCD, anal, and neurotic. I drive the people in this house NUTS! Even the cats run away an hide when they see me coming. If I could shave them I would.
AND…..we have a cleaning lady that comes in as well……
sorry
June 6th, 2007 at 7:22 pm
I need one of those houses!
June 6th, 2007 at 7:55 pm
Oh, you don’t want my advice…. Because you actually do MORE than I do. And, we have the EXACT SAME laundry situation — I wash and dry, but hell if I’m gonna fold…. Get thee a cleaning person if you can. I depend on mine. It’s my one luxury….
June 6th, 2007 at 11:48 pm
I cut corners by not dusting, pretty much ever…(the shame). Also, I’m lucky to have a husband who will clean the bathrooms and wash the dishes and clean out the microwave, so I just have to motivate myself to do the laundry and vacuum.
June 7th, 2007 at 8:12 am
I have to agree, a waterproof couch just doesn’t sound that comfy. Besides, can you imagine the bare thigh-stickage factor? Yeowch!
Actually, your cleaning routine impresses the hell out of me.
Cleaning person…It’s the only way to go. I don’t have many indulgences, but that’s one I cannot do without. Boy, do they earn every penny doing my house!
June 7th, 2007 at 8:24 am
Instead of wiping down the walls, I mop them. I don’t use the same mop that I use on the floor though, the walls have their own special mop.
June 7th, 2007 at 11:17 pm
House wife of 2000?? Just that!!!
Never seen one!
August 2nd, 2007 at 2:51 pm