June 8th, 2007
For my 16th birthday we went to the male strippers.
Yes 16th - Sweet Sixteen, six-fuckin‘-teen.
My two best friends and I had fake ID’s and one Awesomely Cool Mom (that wasn’t mine and if she was a parent of one of my children, I wouldn’t let hang around) who drove us 45 minutes to the strip club to see a bunch of naked men dance around shakin’ their dinkies in our faces; the night of my first (*sigh* yes, first) stage dive. Little did this HOT! HOT! stripper know, I was 3 years underage and drunk as hell, as he pushed me up against the wall and danced all over me for a measly two dollars. The girls were hooting and hollering from perverts row awaiting their turn to get on stage, all the while Awesomely Cool Mom sat there shaking her head at us and telling us to sit down and shut up, since we were apparently drawing too much attention to ourselves. After we encouraged a stripper to give her a lap dance she made us leave.
I’d say a memorable experience.
I’ve been numerous times to both female and male strip clubs - even did a stage dive at a female club as an EXTREMELY drunk dare. So I really have no qualms about them. I am comfortable enough with sexuality that it doesn’t even phase me seeing a naked lady on the stage. I’ve been fine with Mike going - even though he says he doesn’t like it.
But what I’m not fine with? Not telling me that you’re going. I’ve been open enough about how comfortable I am with it (even going with him before) and there’s no need to cover it up, or forget to tell me while I am sitting home with our son wondering why he’s not home from work yet! That pisses me off. But yet, when he goes (which is about twice a year), every time he fails to mention it. Every. single. time. Drives me fuckin’ nuts! His sneakiness about it makes me more uncomfortable then being open.
Is it weird to say that I feel like he’s cheating? It’s hard to explain really. Maybe he’s not comfortable with it, that’s a possibility… but nudie magazines and trips to the strippers being hidden from me makes me feel like he really does find me inadequate and not good enough. If he was open about it, I wouldn’t feel the same way (and have been far more accepting when he’s honest about it).
If I try and explain that it’s not the fact that he went - it’s that he’s hidden it, or not called when he’s going to be late from work that makes me mad. He immediately thinks that I am mad about the strip club. Dammit, most men would KILL! to have a wife as understanding as I am about it all, yet he still finds the need to try and hide it from me.
Think it would be better if I just installed a pole in the house?
/rant.
So, which side of the fence are you on about strippers and your husband?
Don’t reward his behaviour with a stripper pole. (firstly)
Let him earn back your trust first! haha.
Okay so I live in MONTREAL - what are we known for internationally other then all the cultural mumbo jumbo? Our stripper clubs. Most of them are on the seedy side of town…and are downright seedy.
Then we have what we call Club 282…where it’s all male strippers, and a well known fact of male stripper clubs, is that most of the men ARE GAY. Homosexual. Playing their own field hahah. In it for the MONEY baby. haha. So it’s a popular place, for women to bring a bride to be on her bachelorette. It’s practically tradition. I’ve been 3 or 4 times. I don’t enjoy it, persay, little weenies flopping on stages with bubbles don’t do it for me. ;0) But it is still all in the name of fun. With the girls. It’s fine.
There is an equivalent popular one for men called Paris something or other where men often go at lunchtime, with colleagues. Some women too. “APPARENTLY” cheap food, good food (yeah uh-huh) thats what I heard. I have no problem with that either. As long as I know about it.
He used to go in his younger days, more then now. Now it’s only for a bachelor party - IF - anything. I don’t care. He can look at the fake boobs all he wants. I trust him. There are strict codes of rules at the more respectable places, no touching allowed, or you are thrown out. Now…..the seedier places. I would not be happy to hear he went there. (like the ones on the edge of town, owned by Hells Angels…) He wouldn’t do that anyhow.
Worse for me, would be looking at pictures on the computer. In secret. That - would - piss me off and hurt me. It’s not with buddies, it’s alone, and it’s for what reason????
June 8th, 2007 at 4:05 pm
Damn girl, I was a waitress and bartender for 15 years … ALL in strip clubs. I could write a book. And I know which place you went to with the cool mom. Heh.
At any rate, men are programmed to lie about certain things … seriously. They just do it. And in their little peabrains, strip clubs are one of the things to lie about, no matter how open you are.
You need to knock him upside the head with the fact that you do not care, until he lies about it, and then THAT is the problem.
Much as I love my Husband, men are stupid. *grin*
June 8th, 2007 at 5:56 pm
I need to dig up the ‘how I met my husband’ post and send it to you. You’ll laugh.
Hopefully. Heh.
June 8th, 2007 at 5:58 pm
I’m the mean wife who says no porn, no strip clubs.
June 8th, 2007 at 10:34 pm
I’m not a fan of strip clubs but I don’t care if my husband goes to one. But I agree it’s the hiding it that makes it a problem. Hiding it makes it seem like he did something he thinks he needs to hide. Although maybe he really did forget to mention it.
June 9th, 2007 at 12:09 am
All strip clubs around here are seedy.
Personally I can’t see any reason to go unless you are wanting some free action, no matter how limited it may or many not be. But of course I have never been to a strip club–male or female, just so nbot my thing.
I wouldn’t like it…I really wouldn’t like it if it were sneaking rather than telling me. And I agree, somethings just aren’t as fun if we don’t sneak and men do have pea sized brains so no matter how much you tell then you are cool with it–they wouldn’t be too cool with you going–so therefore are positive you don’t really mean you are cool with it.
Did any of that make sense LOL But kudos to you for being fine with it–you remind me of my sister
June 9th, 2007 at 11:55 am
The strip clubs aorund here are so nasty. I’ve been - chicks with C-section scars and fucked-up boobjobs with nipples pointing in opposite directions. So, would it bother me if KAATN went? Yeah, b/c of the lack of taste!
I don’t mind the going to the clubs (hot chicks, nearby city) with the guys (rarely happens, bachelor parties, etc.) but I’d be pissed if I wasn’t made aware of it. After the fact is OK, but lying by ommission isn’t allowed … or I break out the Taser. Now, lapdances are a big no-no - because we all know what really happens there.
I guess it comes down to trust - I trust KAATN and it helps I’m secure in my own hotness. But with other guys I had dated, no way - would have pissed me off … b/c given the chance they would have welcomed the opportunity to bring some skanky stripper diseases into the relationship. (Obviously, these were my young and stupid pre-Taser days!)
June 9th, 2007 at 4:59 pm
Thank God he doesn’t go; (at least as far as I know right?), he did in the past and Hooter’s, once or twice before the baby, now honestly I don’t think he goes, he’s either at work or here sleeping or laying on his lazy butt!
June 9th, 2007 at 8:33 pm
I really don’t care if my husband goes to a strip club. I agree that I would rather him not go to the low class ones. I guess I fall in the “cool wife” club. He doesn’t go on a regular basis but when him and his friends do go the friends always get mad that he told me were he, well, were they are going. They always thinks I am going to call thier girlfriends of wives and tell them. The way I look at is, it really is none of my buisness. Look and but don’t touch is my only rule.
As for telling me, well, I guess if I call him and I ask were he is I would like him to tell me, but as for calling and reporting it, no. If he doesn’t come home right after work I would expect a call just so I didn’t worry.
June 10th, 2007 at 7:56 am
I am O.K. with my hubby going to a strip club. I have even pondered going myself but haven’t quite got the guts up yet.
He doesn’t go to often as he works a lot but when he does I usually found out about it well after the fact. I agree with J….I think they are just programmed to lie about that sort of stuff.
June 11th, 2007 at 1:17 am
I totally get where you’re coming from on this. I don’t care either. My husband doesn’t go to strip clubs often, and when he does it’s with friends I know anyway, and I know they are just being guys. I’ve been - I don’t get the appeal (well, I do, but I don’t find it appealing) all that much.
BUT, I would totally get being pissed off about the secrecy of it. I’m big on knowing where he is. I don’t think he “forgot” though. What guy forgets he’s going to see strippers??
June 11th, 2007 at 12:51 pm