June 13th, 2007
I moved my links to a page, but had accidentally put them on a post page first, that’s why they’re showing up in the reader this morning. Sorry! I complain and complain about how slow the readers are to pick up my posts, then the first time I don’t want them to their right there waiting. Stupid readers.
So, farts. What a disenchanting topic I know, but this is where you get to see my colourful prepubescent little boy humour. Because I totally find gas funny. Totally. I can’t help but laugh/smirk/smile when someone lets one go. While growing up, my brother and I used to lie awake in out separate rooms and having competitions for who could be the loudest. We’d bust a gut laughing between each round until we were hushed by my mom’s footsteps coming up the stairs.
To this day we still find it rather hilarious when someone farts. Family gatherings we will revert back to our childish ways and indulge in a little competition after our meal, much to the dismay of my step-mom; she just doesn’t find the humour in it. My mom though, she can hold her own.
For me, public washrooms are torture. Nevermind the thought of public washrooms - that’s another post entirely.. but someone passing gas? I have to leave before I start to giggle, and probably cause complete embarrassment for the unknowing culprit.
Which reminds me of last summer, I was at a wedding; the bride’s step-mom came in the washroom jut after me and let one go. I couldn’t help but start giggling, I was completely caught off guard, and mortified! I laughed at the bride’s step-mom! Worse yet? She CAUGHT me! Peeking through the crack in the stall, she could see me laughing and commented! Oh. My. God.
Or my boss. The founder of the company. He’s nearing 80 and won’t retire; he’s one of those people that loves what he does and will work until the day he passes away. Regardless, his ability to control his bodily functions are ailing him; that man will stand right beside me at the filing cabinet and let one go; like he’s testing me or something. He can remain totally stone faced sober and I am dying inside, trying so hard to ignore the fact that he just passed gas right. beside. me. and didn’t even flinch!
Mike can’t understand the humour. He rolls his eyes at me every time. Secretly, he’s jealous. So jealous that his wife is the Queen of Gas Passing, and he’s but a mere Jester of Gas Passing. Be it burps or farts he cannot top my abilities and it kills him.
EDITED TO ADD: I was just over at Vodkarella (aka Troll Baby) and she’s got a similar post! Tis a day of farts I suppose. So, her post is REAL funny. Go read it! So, yeah I do that to my husband on purpose, snuggle right in for some spooning action and let one rip on his leg. Awesome! (Does that make me dirty!?)
I love such potty humour, can’t help it. Stop shaking your head at me!
So there you have it. A small insight into my prepubescent boy-ish humour.
I know what you’re thinking. Geez, I can’t believe I just lost a good two minutes of my life reading this.
You love it.
:::
Hey, did you get over to MBT for your chance to win a full 2 day pass for BlogHer? Get over there and check out the details for BlogHer or Bust!
Yeah. Farts. A topic in MY family as well.
I have a younger brother who actually (I swear on all that’s holy) recorded a month-long marathon of farts. On tape. Transferred it to a CD and sent it to me.
For the first two years of my marriage, I never farted in front of my husband. I always managed to discretely bury them in the sofa cushion or slip off to a closed room and let it go.
Finally, one day he asked me (probably because I left one behind in a room that he entered IMMEDIATELY after I left it) if I farted and why did I hide them?
I told him that it was just too embarrassing to fart in front of him. He, on the other hand, had no problem passing wind in front of me. He wasn’t obnoxious about it and he always said “excuse me.”
He told me that it’s better to let it go than to try to hold it in…it’s less painful to the intestinal tract.
It took a while, but I’m finally able to fart in his presence.
The moral of the story? There are two:
1. You know the honeymoon is over when your spouse farts normally.
2. Love is never having to say you’re sorry for farting.
Oh, maybe there’s one more:
If a spouse thinks he/she has to fart, and they warn you ahead of time, and then they find out it wasn’t a fart after all, never laugh so loud that you pee your pants. Unless you like taking a shower together. Then by all means, go for it!
Okay, that’s enough toilet humor for this week!
June 13th, 2007 at 10:15 am
Holy “crap,” it’s blog-fart day. Teebopop sent me here after reading my site. Get your “butt” over there when you get time.
June 13th, 2007 at 10:29 am
Oh yeah, I’m a 12 year old boy in that respect too. My kid’s farts are the granddaddy of them all. When he was a teensy tiny infant he would rip these “tooties” that rivaled adult males. I kid you not, I really think they created small earthquakes. I thought they were the so stinkin’ funny (literally stinking funny)!
But I don’t pass gas around my husband (soon-to-be-ex), never have; and neither does he. I think that says a lot about our relationship. With my mom and I (and now my son), it’s ON!
June 13th, 2007 at 11:48 am
Ha ha ha. This is soooo funny. Growing up, I kid you not, “fart” was a bad word.
But, then my niece started to say it and now my son does. And they think it’s sooooo funny. And I do too. Like Matt will say “I didn’t poop. That was just a fart.” Adorable.
My husband will say “oh … I think I heard a barking spider.” it’s our inside joke. You have to laugh.
June 13th, 2007 at 11:49 am
OK…I admit…I giggled towards the end of it. The old man farting next to you…that got me.
You would love this house–5 men and a dog…yeah, farts are quite humrous to all the males in the house. I am more like Mike–not so humorous here, quite disgusting–until I let one go and then it is F.U.N.N.Y! LOL
June 13th, 2007 at 11:52 am
I Love to fart in ur face!!!!
June 13th, 2007 at 12:22 pm
Oh Sam you never fail to amuse me!
I find farts utterly disgusting not so much because of the noise but the stench that accompanies them. Really doesn’t make me laugh, it makes me want to hurl.
It would be interesting to know though - why the smell of our own farts do not disgust us? As I am sure this is a common feeling LOL.
;0)
June 13th, 2007 at 1:19 pm
I taught 6th grade for 9 years. There is (almost) nobody in the world who can master gas like a sixth grade boy. Oh, and my class this year numbered 20 boys and 9 girls.
I kept a scented candle on my desk for the worst days.
June 13th, 2007 at 7:33 pm
I SWEAR I totally think we are related! LOL
June 13th, 2007 at 8:14 pm
LMAO… I too, started cracking up when I got towards the old man. Hilarious.
June 13th, 2007 at 8:55 pm
After reading and commenting on Karen’s fart post this morning I giggled like a little kid everytime one of my own three kids farted.
When I talked to hubby this evening and he asked what I did today I said “Today was fart day on the blogs” and told him about Karen’s post.
His reply? “That’s fucking nasty. WHY the hell are women blogging about farting??? You’re not going to start farting around me now are you?”. LMFAOOOO
Poor guy has been spoiled by me being too embarrassed to fart around him for the last seven years but the day is coming.
Oh yes, it’s coming.
June 14th, 2007 at 1:46 am
LOL @ Daisy’s answer
June 14th, 2007 at 11:14 pm