I’ve had the weekend from hell. No exaggerating.
My air conditioning stopped working again this weekend. The fan works, but nothing cold comes out. Mike checked out the unit outside (for gawd knows what since he knows absolutely nothing about air conditioners) and mentioned something like “Blah, blah, blah, blah, fuckin’ solenoid blah, blah, blah.”
[I had to ask Dr. Google what a solenoid was - thank you Dr. Google! Found out that it's a blah, blah, blah, blah.]
Result? No air conditioning all weekend.
Doing laundry and cleaning while sweating your ass off really defeats the purpose. I mean, getting dirty to clean?
*pffffft* Cleaning’s for the birds.
So I did the minimal amount required and parked my ass in front of the fan, which happened to be near the TV (Go figure.) and caught up on Big Brother. (Go Dick!)
I turn into a total bitch when I am hot and sweaty.
[More then usual.]
Every time Mike would come near, or touch me I would freak out, go all Medusa-like on him and hiss; “Fix the fuckn’ air conditioner first!”
[Poor bastard.]
Saturday night I had just about enough. Carter had a day of meltdowns (which continued well into Sunday), and I was so hot, uncomfortable and irritated that we all piled in the (air conditioned!) car and went for a drive, but not before stopping for ice cream! Hell ya!
We cruised around the city with the air conditioning cranked, turned on Elmo to shut the damn toddler up in the back seat until I was nice and cold (read: nipple could cut glass).
Toddler meltdowns are fabulous. C’mon. You know you love it. Crying all the time? Flinging ones body haphazardly onto any surface you can find and flailing around while screaming, convulsing as ones head spins in circles? Fuckin’ awesome.
Damn kid’s stealing my thunder.
Is this what they mean by terrible twos? It’s more like horrendous, debilitating, excruciating, or hellish. I don’t think terrible is very adequate.
The throwing-your-body-around-like-a-rag-doll I can handle, since all I do is laugh. But the screeching? the crying? the whining? Gah!
I am seriously surprised that the weekend didn’t end with me bald, rocking back and forth in the corner and my child duct taped to the wall with a ball gag in his mouth.
I’ve never been so glad to be at work on a Monday morning.
{ 15 comments }
Terrible twos? Just you WAIT till he hits the Fucking Fives…
And I’m sorry about the air conditioner… So very, very, VERY sorry…
Dude. That totally sucks. For your sake, I’m glad you’re at work, too.
We’re supposed to be in for scorching weather this week babe. I’m not looking forward to it. Not one bit.
My daughter never had the terrible twos. She had the reallyreallyhellish terrible THREE’s. Watch out.
*laugh* It’s never fun when the AC goes out during the summer. I don’t care where you are, or what time of the season. It blows like a big amped up leafblower.
Ooh, did you catch Big Brother last night? I totally flaked and forgot it was on. Who did Dustin put up? And? How stupid were they for not getting rid of Kail? Dick had it right. Kinda wish I had the Showtime so I could see the after hours deal.
I am alway a little a fraid to click on your blog link, Sam LOL
What will she write about today? HOW will she write about it? Am I going to laugh out loud and have the entire house turn and look at me AGAIN? or will I gasp and have the same results AND a 7 year old come running asking, “What? What? I wanna see!” and have to quickly change the screen” Gotta love it!!!! And fear it LOL
Nipples hard enough to cut glass–LMAO
“Terrible” is very inadequate–HILARIOUS!!!!
Kid gagged and duct taped to the wall–my one and only fantasy !
**shhhhhh**
And lovin’ Monday morning–my favorite day of the week, along side betime, my favorite time of the day!
Great post!!!
Fricken fours suck too. It all sucks. I know I’m not looking forward to three of us pmsing all the time.
Sigh.
It’s the heat. I don’t want anyone within 5 feet of me when it’s warm.
I work from home Monday’s. No joy here.
terrible two’s are the BEST
Tantrums are ruling my house here, too. They are going to make me start seeking employment soon.
You and me both dearie! And yup, that’s what my husband always says – can’t wait to get back to work and have a bit of a rest!
Cheers
Well, that sure doesn’t sound like much fun at all. Hope your house is chilly again soon!
Dude can you send him over to fix mine two…. I melted down into bitch mode and bought a window unit before DH became dinner.
Hope this week is fit-free.
I hope you get your air conditioner working soon! We dont have a/c but our house stayes pretty cool.
boo hiss for no a/c……
and just wait…..WAIT until the teenage years…..MMMWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Nothing is worse then the terrible 2′s. Sometimes they hit at 3. Sometimes earlier – but they are always recognizable.(and I hate it when moms say My kid never had terrible 2′s. Bull fucking shit.) ;0) I feel like your blog brings out the swear in me LOL.
It gets much easier…but it changes. Different things to deal with – but the 2′s. The worst.
My sympathies for your ac. It was a HOT weekend too. Yikes.
LOL It only gets worse as they get older. Except instead of flinging their bodies all over the place it’s back talk and throwing things and hitting walls. Gotta love preschoolers.
I was lucky with Ryan….he was perfect until he hit 3. Then it was the terrible 3′s, continued into the fightin’ fours. LOL They just get smarter as you go.
Hope your ac has been fixed now. It’s hot out there!
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