August 9th, 2007
Why does parenting make us such push overs?
Growing up, I had my husband, his career, our house, our cars, our children’s names and everything! picked out. I knew exactly what my children were going to look like (me of course!) I knew I would have a live-in nanny and I would work full time (so, partially right). All while sleeping around behind my husband’s back with Ken (yes, Barbie’s Ken) because he worked such grueling hours trying to maintain my wickedly awesome lifestyle. Apparently cheating is a way of life. Who knew?
I would lay down The Law and I would be Boss. I would be listened to, back talk and lying would not be tolerated and I would be feared. Ha! If the children became unbearable, well… I would simply pass them to the nanny and tell her that I had to get out of the house and go have a drink with my friends.
[So instead I ditch the husband with an unruly toddler and head to my friend's to bitch and moan compare notes gush about how grateful we are for such understanding husbands. ]
So far, everything seems to be heading uncontrollably downhill and that kid is propped up on my back using my hair as the reigns.
Thirteen Things I Never Thought I’d Let My Child Do
1. Watch TV - Okay so, only partially true. I never thought I’d let him watch as much TV as he does.
2. I never thought I’d let him have more shows saved on the DVR then I have. That’s happened as well. He’s got nearly 45% of the damn thing.
3. Eat chips. Now he doesn’t eat them that often, but yes.. he has chips.
4. Have McDonald’s until he was at least five. Nope. Done that too.
5. Eat cereal for dinner. But he does. It’s high in fiber though, so it’s okay, right?
6. Watch TV in the car. That was before I realized how hard it actually is to concentrate on the road with a whining/crying toddler in the back.
7. Hug random strangers in WalMart. But apparently he really fancies the East Indian lady we happen to run into often in the baby section. Weird.
8. Stay up late. But sometimes you just have to weigh the positives and negatives. I mean, Grandma put up with the cranky evening and we can sleep in? Bonus!
9. Try pop or coffee until he was much older, and well… he’s done both - not by my choice though. His father doesn’t seem to think it’s as big a deal as I do.
10. Go to bed without brushing. Meh. He’s got another set of teeth comin’ in. We can try better with those, right?
11. Sleep in my bed. Ya, that’s right. I love sleep too much to share my space with anyone. But I have. Numerous times. Too many times. *sigh*
12. Wear clothes with Dinsey characters, Dora, Diego or Pooh Bear. Done, done and done. *gag*
13. Use a bottle and a pacifier until he was two. But we’re coming up on two nice and quickly and I don’t see him relinquishing them any. time. soon.
And! Remember how I went on about Carter calling Mike Mommy or Mike? Ya, he still does. But it’s normally just Mike. No matter how many times we correct him, Mike is still Mike. I was able to finally get him on video. A little. He gets performance anxiety when he’s on camera (not really, he likes to watch the LCD on the back of the camera instead).
I am hearing EVERYTHING that you listed here!
Happy TT!
August 9th, 2007 at 9:45 am
I think you copied the list in my brain. Mind you - I think i also said that my child would be toilet trained before 3 (he isn’t) and I would never get mad in public (I do).
And for the record, at 3 Matthew still has a soother and the occassional (okay nightly) bottle.
Parenting is hard.
August 9th, 2007 at 10:02 am
I knew all about having kids, till I did. I know nothing and I’ve broken every rule I had.
I just love your list, your wit and your balls to put those thoughts out there. Thank you!!!!!!
August 9th, 2007 at 10:05 am
very honest list!!! Its great!
August 9th, 2007 at 10:05 am
That’s too funny!
August 9th, 2007 at 10:46 am
We all say I’ll never do this or that…, but we do anyway.
Your little guy doesn’t seem to have suffered for any of it. 
He’s a cutie!
August 9th, 2007 at 10:49 am
Eh, I do all those things too. And when my daughter is trying to get my attention and I ignore she yells KARLY! See? We are totally soul mates!
August 9th, 2007 at 10:59 am
Sam has a voice!!!!!! After all these YEARS, Sam has a voice!!!! And WHAT a voice!
August 9th, 2007 at 12:02 pm
Oh….and who the HELL thinks about sleeping around as an adult when their a kid for Pete’s sake! Sheesh!
August 9th, 2007 at 12:03 pm
I don’t have kids but I am the oldest of five… I cringe when I hear kids scream or cry so I don’t think I’ll be having any anytime soon. My only advice, enjoy them while they are small, cause teens are aweful, and carry tylenol and ear plags in your purse! LOL
Happy TT!
August 9th, 2007 at 12:06 pm
I have 4 kids and it’s amazing what you think you aren’t going to do until they’re actually here, right? It got worse for me with each kid, too. My oldest had bottles, teething rings, etc sterilized before they went into her mouth and by the time the 4th one was here, well, I think he teethed on pretzels…LOL
Happy TT
Jessica The Rock Chick
August 9th, 2007 at 12:30 pm
I have to agree with Jessica. With my first, a dropped pacifier got washed and sterilized. By the third, she was lucky to have me blow the dirt off of it.
August 9th, 2007 at 12:42 pm
Yeah, there’s a sort of slippery slope, I’ve noticed, over time (and as more children come along). They don’t break.
I think it’s important to be pragmatic; and I also think you have to pick your battles. Otherwise, you turn into an enforcer instead of a mom! You sound like a fun mom, one who will roll with the punches when he turns into an adult (he’s so cute now…but I just look at small children and see the teens they are going to turn into)…
August 9th, 2007 at 12:54 pm
I love this list. I said all those same things and did the opposite. That’s why I’m called a slacker mom!
My baby calls my hubby ma. It drives him crazy. I get off on it.
August 9th, 2007 at 2:28 pm
You are so my kind of mom. Gotta run. Tater Tots for dinner aren’t going to cook themselves!
August 9th, 2007 at 5:26 pm
Don’t feel bad, I have a similar list:)
August 9th, 2007 at 8:18 pm