Well, hi there. It looks like I’m your first guest poster and I’m oh so honored that Sam asked me. I’m Karly of Wiping Up Snot. Sam recently did a guest post for me about the femullet and I now get many googlers coming through looking for information about femullets. So, really, how could I pass up the chance to pay Sam back? Femullet, femullet, femullet. Hi Googlers! How ya doin’?

Alright, on to the guest post.

Against my better judgement I am going to tell y’all a little story about me and my weird plumber problem. You see, everytime we have to call a plumber its pretty much guaranteed that I’m going to embarass the fuck outta myself.

The first time we called a plumber my husband was at work and I hadn’t showered yet. I hate people seeing me un-showered so I jumped in real quick before the guy got there. After I finished I dried off and ran naked to the laundry room because I HATE dressing in a hot, steamy bathroom. It makes my clothes feel all damp and I immediately start sweating and then I need another shower. So, it was off to the laundry where I had a basket of clean clothes. My laundry room is at the back of the house and there is a window with no blinds or curtains, but that didn’t stop me from standing in front of that window and quickly getting dressed. Only I wasn’t quick enough. The plumber, for some stupid reason, was walking around my house and just so happened to be passing the laundry room window just as I was getting ready to put my bra on. There I was. Completely naked. Alone. With only a piece of glass seperating me from THE PLUMBER. The guy who was about to come clean the feces from my pipes. When our eyes met each other’s through the glass it was a tender moment to be sure.

I quickly pulled my shirt and pants on and ran from the room and thought about slitting my wrists, but quickly decided that he knew I was in the house and would become suspicious if I didn’t answer the door.

We did not speak of the nakedness. We pretended that it never happened. He fixed my toilet and I never called that plumbing company again.

But wait! A year or so later and my plumbing was messed up AGAIN! This time all the drains in the house were backing up. So we called a different plumber. Again, the husband was at work so I was left to deal with him alone. This time I was smart enough to be dressed long before he arrived.

My mistake this time did not involve me being naked. It involved me leaving my VIBRATOR sitting in the bottom of my bedroom closet. Who would think to move it after all? It was IN THE CLOSET! ON THE FLOOR! HIDDEN AWAY!

But, no. Our bedroom closet has a panel that can be opened up to allow access to the shower plumbing. And guess who needed to get in there? THE PLUMBER! And so he MOVED everything that was in the floor of my closet out. HE MOVED MY VIBRATOR FOR ME. He picked it up with his dirty plumber hands and he MOVED it.

The next time a plumber is needed you can be sure that I will be somewhere far, far away and my husband will be the one to be seen naked by the plumber. Maybe he’ll be looking at porn and…you know…when the plumber gets here. That’d be good payback, for sure.