This is me. Threadbare.

“Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.” Right? Right? Can I hear an “Amen!” from my peoples out there in mommybloggerland?!

My name is Megan and I write usually totally non-cliche mommyblogger stuff over on Velveteen Mind. However today, today my friend Sam’s friends, I’m gonna hafta go all mommyblogger on your asses. Yep, it’s just one of those days.

Last night, while poking random keys on my keyboard, knowing I needed to go to sleep but not being able to commit to the idea, I glanced over at my more or less hidden-under-to-do-lists calendar and noticed that I was slated to guest blog over here at the utterly beautiful temporarily me. Damn. I totally forgot. That’s not like me. Especially because I was psyched to play in Sam’s sandbox for a day, even if she wasn’t going to be here to play with me. How could I forget?

I am full of good intentions. Bursting with fantastic ideas. Overflowing with inspiration! Yet I lack follow-through. I embrace procrastination. I am brimming with excuses and distractions waiting to be indulged.

Deep down, I’m a powerhouse writer and Super Mommy. Housewife Extraordinaire! The next big thing to hit your computer screen and join the league of Ladies Who Launch!

Unfortunately, it’s sometimes tough to get down to that deep-down powerhouse through all of the crap in the way.

Perfect example– Take a look at this here book I bought a million months ago. Momfidence! by Paula Spencer. I’ve been trying to finish reading this book for a looooong time now. It’s not that I can’t read quickly, no, I can devour a book in hours flat. Nope, it’s that I can never find this book within my own home. If it’s not hidden under a pile of laundry, toys, or art supplies, then it is up on a shelf drying out from the latest drink to have been spilled on it.

Today, it magically appeared on our train table. That’s bits of dried Play-Doh you see, along with a dinosaur magnet, empty glitter glue pen, and a (probably incredibly old) Gerber Puff. Nice, right? Yeah, well, we live here.

Momfidence! is full of great ideas. Full of inspiration. Full of perspective. Momfidence! is also covered in strawberry milk. Pages stuck together with glitter glue. Buried under the giant jigsaw puzzle we just bought (what dimwit had the good idea to buy a giant jigsaw puzzle here? for toddlers?). Momfidence! is smeared with jelly. Smells a bit like a dirty diaper that was plopped on top of it by a distracted mother. And all but unread.

I am Momfidence! I am a book with torn covers and warped pages. And I love it.

The tagline for my blog at Velveteen Mind is “Relish the Velveteen. Revel in the Threadbare.” I live that every day.

I relish the moments when my brain is firing at capacity, when my focus is sharp, when my attention is brilliantly shone on my children, when no one is wrestling or pinching or spilling or falling into sharp objects. When kisses are given unbidden by sweet baby lips. When the velveteen is plush and clean and lovely.

But those things usually only happen on days when the moon aligns with Jupiter or some such nonsense that I can’t count on nor begin to understand or anticipate.

So I revel in the threadbare. My velveteen is not always plush and clean. Sometimes it is sticky and matted. But that means it has been touched. It means it has been loved by busy hands that don’t hesitate to grab and squeeze before washing off the evidence of toddler life.

I revel in the threadbare. My velveteen may not always look lovely to you. You may be distracted by the threadbare patches. You might wonder why I don’t take the time to mend those threadworn spots. But I invite you to touch those, too. There you will find the threads of motherhood. The foundation on which all of this lovely velveteen can cling and build up and shine.

Why should I fuss over the threadbare? Why should I hide it? Why should I fix it?

I want you to know that I am real. I want you to know that I have been loved. I want you to know that I am loved. I want you to know that you are welcome to love me, too. Touch me. You can’t break me. My foundation is strong. I can hold you. I can hold all that you can bring to me. I can hold all that you are.

My velveteen will not always be plush and lovely, but it will be loved. I have a lifetime of spilled milk, smeared jelly, and stinky messes ahead of me. Sometimes I clean them up, sometimes I don’t. I am a book with torn covers and warped pages. I am a mom with tousled hair and sticky-finger-stained clothing. I am a mom with lively toddlers who live out loud. They run. They fall. They play. They hug. They spill. They smear. They yell. They kiss. They sing.

And sometimes I sing with them while cleaning up those messy bodies. Particularly when I think no one is listening. This is me, threadbare. Revel with me.

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Bath Street’s Back! Wash Your Bahday!

Okay, I can’t get the video to load, so here’s the link above.

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