First day of NaBloPoMo, here I come! I’m ready! (I think.) Leave me alone I was snortin’ crack of Brit’s Brit’s tatas.

I’ve been in and out of this funk off and on for a couple week now, and obviously some days are better then other. Take yesterday for example: not one of the best. Maybe over sleeping, dunno. With today being Halloween, there couldn’t be a better day to overdose on sugary and chocolatey goodness, which would surely lift my spirits; even if it’s a momentary sugar high.

Halloween used to be my favourite holiday. How could it not be with candy, staying up late and dressing up as anything I wanted to be? Though, never took full advantage as I was never creative with costumes: witch, nerd, punk rocker, Madonna and Tim Horton’s drive thru zombie (which was a friend’s work uniform and bad make-up) to name a few. Bor-ing. And I’ve managed to pass a little bit of that bore onto my child. Already. Nothing creative and the past two years we’ve waited until the last minute to fight the crowds for the left over costumes.

He’s taken to being very grumpy and uncooperative when it comes to wearing his costumes. He gets it from his father I think. Last year’s Devil costume was a fight in itself just to get the stupid horns to stay on his head. Because gasp! he must wear his summer hat. At. All. Times. This year, much like last, has been a quarrel to say the least.

Amongst the last minute shoppers at the local WalMart, we fought to find one of the few remaining toddler costumes which were apparently unisex. Uh huh. Fairy wings and princess costumes. Right. Amidst the jumble of disheveled wings and halos we found a monkey and an elephant; since monkeys have been a hit lately, we settled ad vacated as quickly as possible while the screaming toddler let his displeasure be known to the ENTIRE store.

Excited that we actually found something, I made him try it on when we got home; just too see how ridiculous the enlarged head of a so called monkey would be on him.

With an ear piercing squeal he announced “NOOOOOOO MONKEY. NO! NO! NO!”

He won’t wear it. He hates it. So I removed it, and let it rest until this morning, where he had to dress for daycare.

Getting dressed in the morning is a feat in itself; adding a stupid costume which has already been vilified did not entirely help the situation.

But in the end. Mommy 1 Toddler 0. So far.

We’ll see when we get to the party and my child is in his regular street clothes, clutching his blanket, snot all over his face and screaming: “NOOOOOOO MONKEY. NO! NO! NO!”

What could I try and pass him off as then? A teenager? A bratty toddler? Oh, I know. A child afraid of monkeys.

See. Not creative with these costume things.

Carter may end up with these costumes if I don’t smarten up.

I’ve ditched the pink and momentarily gone with a generic wordpress template, though, I do really like it. Kinda expresses me at the moment.

I will have a Temptation Designs! theme soon enough, I just had to get rid of that pink and I don’t have a spare moment to create something else.

Bear Bare with me just for the time being as there are things missing and out of order which I will soon incorporate into a new design.

xox

I’m in a funk these days. Winter weather is approaching, there’s little sunlight and I am trapped in an office with little to do. Even make work is unbearably tedious these days, and morning sickness only adds to the funk. Even though fall is one of my most favourite seasons, it seems to always get me down. Shorter daylight hours, the trees seems to be dying a slow death while the air is cooler and uninviting.

It could also be the hormones. They are seeping away any spunk I had left; draining me of creativity and slowly inhibiting me from enjoying the cooler weather before the snow settles, enjoying life. My family notices, friends can only hear so much before I feel guilty and I struggle with it every second of the day. I’m still taking anti-depressants (which are safe for pregnancy) but I’m unsure if increasing the dosage would be helpful. I’d rather slowly stop taking them then live in a state of semi-consciousness overdosed on pills.

This funk stinks.

I remember a time when I would get like this, when I was younger; I would surround myself with friends, talk, walk, eat and laugh. It always helped. But friends have their own lives now, as do I. Friends live farther and farther away, they have family and careers which can’t be walked away from at the drop of a hat like it used to be. I can’t hide away in my room with my music blaring while I lay still, taking it all in.

I now have commitments, a toddler, a fetus, a husband, a house and a job or two. I can’t hide from them.

I have a gift certificate I’ve been holding on to. A spa day which was a gift from work a few months back. It may be time to cash that baby in from some me time. A haircut, massage, pedicure. Maybe it will wash some funk off.

Because Dude, I think I’ve killed my blog.

Erratic and inconsistent posting and nothing to talk about except vile and gut wrenching stories of morning sickness and explosive diarrhea will halt traffic like nothing else.

Not to mention the Pepto-Bismol pink layout that I’ve committed to for another few days, but still haven’t found something (or anything to replace it with), I freakin’ the fuck out! I’m gonna be pink forever!! I can’t stand even looking at my layout, I don’t blame you readers reader for not coming by. I don’t even look at it either. Gahhhh!! (Seriously, I may just download a free theme for the time being: until I get my ass in gear and my head outta the toilet.)

If you’re looking to deter people from coming to visit you follow these simple rules:

1. Talk about morning sickness repeatedly;

2. Share your gory bathroom tales incessantly;

3. Bitch and moan Whine and cry about how hard it is to be you at this very moment;

4. Post erratically and inconsistently and share nothing of value;

5. Try and convince people that you deserve pity;

6. Don’t visit people or comment on their sites, but dammit except MORE in return;

7. Whin, bitch and cry that your traffic is nearing an all time low, and expect that to be enough to get readers back;

8. Pepto-Bisol fuckin’ pink people. Make your layout so fuckin’ pink that you feel sick to your stomach just thinking about clicking over.

9. Leave the pink for an entire month even though you hate it, everyone else hates it and it’s just plain fuckin’ ugly.

10. Oh, and make your site slow as shit so even those that come here regularly are fed up with it’s slow ass loading and get sick of it. (To my defense I have been trying everything to fix how slow it is…)

I need another vacation.

I’ve always been a fan of SUVs. I think my first car crush (is that what it’s called?) was a 1997 Toyota 4Runner. My uncle had one and I just remember how much I wanted one when I was able to buy a car; because I was having nothing to do with that mini van. No thank you. Still feel that way. I am not a fan of the mini van; just a personal choice really. If I had 4 kids and had to haul all their shit around it would still be in a huge Yukon or something.

The first vehicle I  drove was my mom’s GMC Safari: the epitome of mom car. (Sorry girls!) There was no way of hiding the fact that yes, I was driving my mom’s huge clunker. Parallel parking was a nightmare and backing that thing up? I would have totally hit your kid if they were standing behind me. So, yeah. Totally kiboshed the whole mini van thing for me. Never. Never. Never.

[Please do not refer me to this post when we picked out a new vehicle and it just happens to be a van, m'kay?]

When kids came along it was obvious we needed an upgrade from my Saturn: a small commuter car that could barely fit the baby carrier in the backseat without the driver being pressed up against the steering wheel. And the Jeep TJ was a definite no-no since it was on it’s last leg. We did not even venture near the mini vans; I think I even scoffed at the dealer when he made the suggestion. That’s when our beloved Mali came into the picture, and even though I still coveted the SUV, I am more then satisfied with my station wagon/hatch back.

One thing I’ve realized about SUV drivers is they think they’re driving something like this:

Last night I was stuck at an intersection for what seemed like forever. I thought there was an accident ahead so I waited it out patiently, until I got closer to the lights; there it was, in the middle of the intersection, asphalt scrapped down in preparation for re-covering: about a 2 inch drop from the finished asphalt to the middle of this intersection.

People where driving like every nut and bolt would fall off and their car would be in shambles should they hit this bump faster then a mile per hour. Three cars were making it through each light. THREE.

It was fuckin’ murder.

People. An SUV is designed to do stuff like this:

Even these pricey bitches have bigger balls then you give them credit for:

 Hummer’s were originally military vehicles. I know if I had one last nigh, I would have done this to you:

They’re not made of glass. Now drive the damn vehicle!

 /rant

I found this and it’s so fun.

I can’t believe I’ve wasted the better part of the last hour playing it and haven’t been caught.

And I went shopping (online) and found these guys I officially LOVE Blush! I wish I found them AGES ago!! Cool Mom Picks had them on their site a bit ago. LOVE! Bought three!

Oh, and I wants. Wants. WANTS!

Um, yeah. Only 10 weeks here… maybe getting a little excited for all the cool stuff I thought I didn’t need when we had Carter.

P.S. I’m totally not enjoying this pink anymore. It’s actually making me ill. So I can see why no one’s ever here anymore. It’s so fuggin’ FUGLY!!!

Thanks to those of you offering tips and your similar dreams with me. It’s nice knowing that I’m not just going craaaazy by myself!

More vivid dreams last night. The one I remember I was taken against my will to do some kind of illegal drop of something when four men came into the restaurant armed with automatic weapons and shot the place up. I was the only survivor and I RAN!! to hide in the bathroom, behind the door (great spot moron!) where one of the men came in and dragged me to the kitchen where he tortured me by burning my face on the hot plate to try get information me. Which of course, I had none.

Sounds like an episode of 24 or something. Gah! I can’t even attribute it to shows I’ve been watching before bed because last night was Cars!  Seriously, I need to try meditation or something. Bunnies, rainbows, sunshine… happy thoughts!! Like Happy Gilmore, I have to go to my Happy Place.

That’s all. I really got nothing lately.  I’m not creative, or witty. I have no idea how I’m going to make it through NaBloPoMo (go sign up, then go to my profile and be my friend!) A whole month of posting everyday; when I signed up it was a no-brainer since I usually post daily anyway. Well now! I’m friggin’ lucky if I get about 2 a week.

I think I need to call in some reinforcements. Maybe a book? I dunno. Maybe you can help?

Leave me some ideas in the comments of topics I can cover during the month of November. And for contributing, I’ll share linking love! Who the hell doesn’t LOVE Linky Love!? That’s right, you will be credited for the topic idea in which I will blabber on and on about for a day. Get sharing your ideas!

I’ve always adored sleeping. It once was one of my favourite things to do. If I was bored, lonely, sad, etc. I would go for a nap. I would turn on my favourite tunes and lay with my eyes closed until I drifted off. It was once so peaceful and relaxing.

But that’s all changed.

When Carter was born I was blessed with a fantastic sleeper. After the first three months. The first three months were torture. He would be awake all night, I would be crying and so angry because all I could think about was going to bed. It didn’t ever dawn on me that I would have the opportunity to sleep during the day while he napped since I was home. Everyday.

At 3am, sitting up with a crying baby, it never once dawned on me that Hey! I don’t have to get up in 2 hours to go to work, RELAX! All I could think about was the fact that I wanted to be in my warm bed. Dreaming of pleasantries, like bunnies, and rainbows and sunny skies!

Once Carter began to sleep through the night (at SIX MONTHS, yo!) I was once again reunited with sleep filled nights and restful mornings, except for random noises in the monitor that would randomly jolt me back to consciousness.

I began to curse him for being the perfect child (I know! I know! Bad Mom.) because you can only have one of those. I think it’s written somewhere. Like the Bible or something.

Even my pregnancy with him was completely text book – well, all the good stuff in the textbook. No morning sickness, only mild fatigue; everything was hunky dory.

I would read through the descriptions of morning sickness, sciatica, fatigue, pains, etc. And think to myself. Fuck! That would suck SO bad!

Joke’s on me.

I have all that. And more this time.

I tell you, it’s Devil Spawn this time people. Pure evil.

Even though I have been sleeping a minimum of 10 hours a night I am cursed with evil and horrific dreams. Vampires, domestic disputes, stabbings, guns, such violent images that have got me talking in my sleep!

It’s been unreal. Eerily and creepily real dreams. The ones where you scream and no sound comes out, or you’re shaking something off you, but not moving!

I really dread falling asleep sometimes. Like last night’s dream of running from a man (not sure who) that had a serrated knife and wanted to kill me. Running dreams: where you can’t run fast enough and always seem to be in slow motion. Run! Dammit! Run!!

Maybe it’s the peanut butter before bed. I dunno, but something is truly messed up.

“Can’t Sleep, Clown Will Eat Me!” comes to mind.