We’ve been working on getting Carter to understand the big changes that are less than 3 months away. HOLY FUCK THREE MONTHS UNTIL I HAVE A NEWBORN AGAIN.
*deep breath*
I’ll be fine.
So, yeah. Carter. Around Christmas time we began telling him there was a baby in mommy’s belly and that he was going to be a Big Brother. As expected, he’s been very nonchalant about the whole thing and rather accepting because he doesn’t realize – Sweet Mary and Jesus I Have to SHARE My Toys!
Now that I’ve been showing a bit LOT more we’ve been talking to him about the baby on a regular basis. Asking where the baby is and what the baby’s doing, stuff like that. His answers are very consistent that baby is in his belly at which point he prods at his belly button and insists that “Baby Seeping”
(The visual of a baby seeping through his belly button creeps me out every time.)
Most kids his age that are expecting a sibling, I’ve seen them kiss mommy’s belly and give the baby a hug. This one? I ask him if he wants to kiss baby goodnight and he heaves up his shirt while trying to contort himself into a pretzel-like-shape to get to his belly button.
I’ve been having moments of regret for getting pregnant again. I think it’s too soon, I don’t know if I’m ready for night feedings and sleepless nights days forever. Worry that I’ve forgotten everything about newborns; I don’t know if I’m ready to accept that Carter is no longer The Baby. He’s now going to be the Big Brother.
(Is it weird that every time I write the words Big Brother I think of the TV show?)
Yet, at the same time I long to hold a newborn baby and to have that baby smell and cooing in the house again.
The screams and whines of a toddler just aren’t the same.
The screams that will reach their highest magnitude when Oh My God That Baby Is Touching My Stuff!
Good Times.
Don’t get me wrong, I can’t wait to have another child. I delayed getting pregnant the second time for work reasons (my choice, not theirs) and now I’m more then ready to extend our family, but these NORMAL feelings just keep creeping up and grabbing hold to my consciousness, along with the fact that this pregnancy has been entirely different then it was with Carter, it can’t stop me from thinking those thoughts: Why did we do this again? Can we really afford another child? What if they hate each other? OMG, daycare fees for TWO children!? When. the. hell. am. I. going. to. sleep. again?! What if this child is the polar opposite of Carter and never sleeps, has colic and is the Spawn of Satan?
I know that it’s not really the Spawn of Satan. Mike is a Christmas Baby.
If anything it’s more like Jesus – be it boy or girl, of course.
And I’m the Virgin Mary *cough, cough*
J. says:
I only have the one.
I can’t help you out with any sage advice.
J.’s last blog post..Happy VD Day!
February 20th, 2008 at 11:34 am
Miss Britt says:
I have two – five years apart.
And do you know that there are STILL days when it is OMG SO MUCH HARDER WITH TWO THAN ONE or I’m all wrapped up in the second and feeling guilty about ignoring the first or just so DAMNED TIRED that I think to myself “WHY didn’t you stop at one?”
But honestly… it’s worth it.
Miss Britt’s last blog post..Things I’ve Left Unsaid
February 20th, 2008 at 11:54 am
The Other Dawn says:
Got two. 20 months apart. And while I had a heart attack when I discovered I was pregnant the day after #1’s first birthday party, I’m still alive to tell the tale. The first year pretty much sucked a lot of the time. I felt guilty for not focusing on #2 like I did when #1 was a baby, and guilty for not focusing on #1 like I did when he was a single.
BUT. Now? At 2 and almost 4, they are the very best of friends 85% of the time and I can even poop by myself. Most of the time.
And I want another.
The Other Dawn’s last blog post..Same Professor, Different Day
February 20th, 2008 at 12:40 pm
LD says:
I hear you.
Matt thinks he has a “monster baby” in his tummy. He will tell the daycare that he can’t sleep because the monster baby is keeping him up/making him pee. The other day the monster baby was giving him heartburn.
It’s pretty funny.
LD’s last blog post..Ready for a Princess
February 20th, 2008 at 1:43 pm
Lexi says:
Aww….you will survive, I promise!
Mine are 4 yrs apart (the little one is only 6wks old as we speak!) and some days are really really hard, I’m not gonna lie. But you’ll get into a routine after a while. The thing that helped me the most was making the big one “mama’s little helper”….and if I’m doing something with him, and the baby starts crying, I make a point of saying, “Just a minute, Jake, I’m helping JORDAN right now, you’ll have to wait” so he knows he’s just as important.
You’ll figure it out, have faith!
Lexi’s last blog post..Yay, me. (A Photo PS)
February 20th, 2008 at 4:04 pm
Jerseygirl89 says:
I’m with the Other Dawn – although mine are fifteen months apart. I don’t really recommend that, BTW. You can totally do this. And there’s nothing better than watching your kids laugh together, anyway. Or hug each other.
Jerseygirl89’s last blog post..Just One Touch and My Heartrate Increases
February 20th, 2008 at 5:26 pm
Jenn says:
6 more weeks till I have two running around and I feel the same way…….
Although looking forward to meeting this new person, scared to go through that newborness again. More scared to do it and have a two year old to look after as well….
Jenn
Jenn’s last blog post..Baby Names
February 21st, 2008 at 12:54 am
Brenda says:
Mine are 4 yrs apart. I had the same feelings too when I was pg again. It is much harder with two, but it truly is worth it. Especially when I see my 5 yr old hug and kiss his little brother and tell him he loves him. And to see the 1 yr old look up at him in awe. Makes me remember why I wanted more than one.
The first few months will be hell….but once you get into a routine and figure things out, it gets easier. (((hugs))) you can do it!
Brenda’s last blog post..Kyle 1 yr pictures
February 21st, 2008 at 9:33 am
Don Mills Diva says:
I think everyone feels that way – you’re gonna be great Sam!
Don Mills Diva’s last blog post..Hope
February 22nd, 2008 at 5:13 pm
Mrs. Mustard says:
Yup, 78 days to go for me. Freaked out as hell.
Sacha is only 18 months now, and he sort of understands the baby thing, but not really. He is just obsessed with bellies in general: mine, his, Daddy’s, Winnie the Pooh’s, etc.
Mrs. Mustard’s last blog post..Caution: Wii Pregnant
February 24th, 2008 at 10:03 pm
Leslie says:
Julia also has a baby in her belly. How cute is that?
I’m having a lot of the same feelngs you are…nervous about the newborn thing…how did I do it the first time? And I’m a little sad that it won’t just be Julia anymore. I’m afraid I won’t be able to divide my time and attention well enough and that I’ll love one more than the other and they’ll know it. It’s hard to imagine loving someone else like I love Julia. But somehow, it will all work out. And in a few months, I’ll probably feel silly for all this apprehension. But that doesn’t make me feel any better right now. I still worry. But, that’s my style.
Leslie’s last blog post..Who Needs American Idol When I’ve Got This?!
February 28th, 2008 at 8:18 pm