March 4th, 2008
It wasn’t my intention at all. I didn’t want to sit here and vent about how uncomfortable I am lately, or how I have been sick for over 6 months off and on and how I’ve been lacking in anything positive to say about any aspect of my life. But that’s the great thing about blogging, no? It’s a spot where I can get it all out: stuff I may not be entirely comfortable saying face to face with someone in my real life. I can just write and if they read, well, then they know what it’s like to be me at the moment.
There are many aspects of Pregnancy Number Two which have been less then appealing and had they occurred during Pregnancy Number One there would not have been a Pregnancy Number Two - or it would have been delayed far longer. Stepping into this journey of having another child I was naive to think that everything would be hunkie-dorie like the first. No morning sickness, normal energy and I’d look and feel fabulous throughout.
Wrong.
Am I the only one that was this delusional to think that everything would be perfect again only to have all my hopes come crashing down around me and find myself with 78 days remaining and all ready counting down to delivery?
I know a dear bloggy friend blogged about her ups and (mostly) downs throughout her second pregnancy. I was in awe about how positive her posts sounded even though I’m sure she was about ready to do harm to anyone who got in her way. I just can’t seem to do that, I can’t seem to find the positive in anything about this pregnancy right now. (Maybe I need more Chai Tea Lattes, eh Haley-O?)
I only have slight glimpses of positive when I feel a kick or moment and realize, yes, this is what I am doing it all for. This is only a small blip (that lasts what seems like forever). The bladder control pads won’t be worn forever, the coughing too shall pass, and the discomfort while sitting/standing/walking all too shall pass.
For the moment though? It all fuckin’ sucks and I’m just miserable.
I’ve been searching for something positive that will make me a little more comfortable and happy about this pregnancy, and as I write this, I’ve realized - to this day, I haven’t bought a thing for this baby which I’m sure makes a huge difference. Maybe an outfit? New crib bedding? A toy? Something. Maybe getting something for this baby will alleviate some of these blah feelings I’ve been having.
A light has come on people! This is a breakthrough! Seriously, right this second that came to me. I could be like Dr. Phil or something (better).
I definitely think buying some baby gear will help put you in a better frame of mind!!
mamatulip’s last blog post..Art vs. crap
March 4th, 2008 at 2:19 pm
Retail therapy works wonders. Go spend some money!
Jennifer’s last blog post..Drop Kicking a Four-Year-Old Bully
March 4th, 2008 at 4:49 pm
For me, the first pregnancy was pretty miserable, and it took some convincing to get me to want to do it again. I was sick 24/7 for the first half of the pregnancy, then I had *ahem* bowel issues for the last half, combined with a very short fuse, a baby that constantly pummeled my insides and pushed on my sciatic nerve, shooting pains down my right leg and making me hunch over like a 99 year old.
This time has been heaven compared to that. It’s even got me thinking about a third. Then again, I still have to push this critter out of me…
Mrs. Mustard’s last blog post..At the whim of a benevolent dictator
March 4th, 2008 at 11:28 pm
I’m so sorry you are so miserable. I agree…getting an outfit or something would definitely help.
Also…..maybe thinking about how lucky you are to be pg at all might help. For me my second pg was not a bowl of cherries, but just realizing I was pg at all made me feel so lucky. I was able to endure anything. Due to my infertility, I know so many women that have tried years (some still trying with no luck) to get pg. For most women it’s not that easy…and thinking about that made me humble and made me happy to endure any ailment I had.
I hope that didn’t come off as rude. I don’t mean you shouldn’t complain at all. Just that realizing how lucky you are might help.
Brenda’s last blog post..It’s a sad day in Wisconsin
I completely understand, and it’s not rude at all! I know I’m lucky. I really do. It’s hard to see HOW lucky when I feel like this though, KWIM?
March 5th, 2008 at 8:51 am
Seriously, second time round sucks soooo much more. I’m going insane. And if one more person asks me when I’m due, how long I’m working till, what I’m having …
Enough.
I hear you.
Retail therapy is fantastic. I just indulged this weekend. And, so is sorting the baby stuff.
By the way - I meant to comment before. I’ve had the WORST cold ever. Last time I went to the doctor I was completely miserable and sleeping less than I have been due to coughing/sneezing/feeling gross.
She told me that I could have tylenol cold. But, I was only to take it for 2 days, and to have one at night and one during the day it was okay.
LD’s last blog post..Questions, questions …
March 5th, 2008 at 11:10 am
No worries….I know for a fact that my blog turned into a prego-ventfest as well.
What helped me a lot was looking at my older son (just not when he was throwing a fit-that didn’t help-lol!)playing, or giving me a kiss, and reminding myself that that is the light at the end of the (long tortuous) tunnel.
Lexi’s last blog post..Blah blah blah
March 5th, 2008 at 2:47 pm
I too am pregnant with #2 and feeling constantly crappy, therefore depressed, therefore ungrateful…. So thanks for venting, it’s nice to know I’m not alone. And I’m loving the idea of getting this peanut something of his/her own and putting it somewhere I can always see it and remember why I’m doing this. Thanks!
March 5th, 2008 at 5:54 pm
Awww…. Hang in there, Sammy! And, trust me when I say it’s ALL WORTH IT.
Where to find the positive? Yes — in those CHAI TEA LATTES. Indulge in WHATEVER. Indulge indulge indulge. Treat yourself well. Allow yourself these shitty feelings. It’s normal and natural. No need to be positive if it’s not there.
And, my blog? you know how when you have an extreme emotion the opposite comes out? Like, you cry when you’re happy, laugh when upset? That was my preggo blog. I did a lot of DELIRIOUS laughing becuase I was so darn miserable!!! It was all I could do!
You’re so almost there!
Haley-O’s last blog post..Sorry, Had to….
March 6th, 2008 at 1:36 am