Every other Sunday morning is my morning to go out and splurge just a little by getting my nails done. Ya, fake acrylic nails, but that’s not the point of my story. Neither is the fact that I was an hour late courtesy of the time change I forgot about, or the fact that there were about 2 feet of un-shoveled snow in my driveway.
Those mornings, I sit and chat with the owner of the salon and catch up on my gossip magazines, you know, get the full stories instead of the tidbits I pick up online throughout the week. Today was no different: as I waited for my nails to dry, I picked up one of the newer issues of some rag tabloid to come across an article about Kristie Alley and her continuing battle with her weight.
I know gossip rags are not known for their intelligent or insightful articles, that’s not was I was expecting; but I was more then appalled to see just how blatantly rude and uncouth this particular article was. Littered with terms like “tipping the scales“, “heavy weight, “fat“, “uncontrollable eating“, “whopping” – the list goes on, I felt sick to my stomach as I read the numbers that they were using these terms to refer to as overweight.
190 pounds. A whopping 190lbs.
For someone who, personally, sat at that whopping 190lbs pre-pregnancy I was truly hurt, offended, and embarrassed to see those terms used to describe a moderately obese chubby person with a little meat on their bones. Those terms create the image of a seemingly grotesque obese person with no self awareness, no self control and even less self-love. The paint the image of someone that has lost all hope and has let themselves go. None of which I believe I am.
It’s hurtful for me just reading the article. Just imagine if it had been written about me?
Not only is the fashion industry geared towards skinny, tiny, boyish figures but the “entertainment” industry is also geared towards making the average woman feel so inadequate as a sexy female it’s almost heart wrenching. No wonder us ladies of average size succumb to baggy clothes that hide our features instead of accentuating them. No wonder so many of us are stuck in the over sized t-shirts and ill-fitted jeans trying to make it work – all to avoid the scornful and judgmental scowls and looks of others.
I for one feel as though if I try and dress up and try to look my best, I’m just judged as a fat person trying to fit in to clothes that aren’t made for my figure.
How can I not when I am confronted with shit like this at the checkout line, on the television and every. damn. day. we’re told – Hey! You’re Fat! You Fat SLOB!
When did we become so full of self hatred that this behaviour became acceptable? When did we lose all compassion for others feelings that this lack of judgment was deemed to be “the norm”?
It’s truly embarrassing to be a human being sometimes.
Hilly says:
This kind of thing sickens me too. I was watching “Fast Times At Ridgemont High” the other day and noticed that the “hot” women in that movie had meat on their bones and were not barfing up their carrot sticks so that their ribs showed.
I am appalled that the media and Hollywood have made people feel like shit if they are not a size 2 or actually a 0 which is the new 2, bleh. I intend to get on a soapbox about this later this week…thanks for the inspiration!
Hilly’s last blog post..Super Snoopy Snackie Sunday: The Vig
March 9th, 2008 at 12:36 pm
Krystle says:
Amen Sam. This society, if you’re not skin and bones… you’re nothing. And, it sucks.
It’s shameful, embarrassing, and only dives the chunkier folk (like me) into out of control visits with fattening restaurants because we’re already depressed anyway…
Ugh, I hear ya.
March 9th, 2008 at 2:20 pm
Ainsley says:
Hi, I’m a first-time visitor, found your blog through a friend’s. Thanks for making me smile; your blog is so funny and really insightful. Glad I found it!
March 9th, 2008 at 6:37 pm
samarama ding dong says:
Hilly: Glad you felt inspired! I don’t think I’ve been able to do that for quite a while. LOL Can’t wait to read what you’ve got to say!
Krystle: Amen sista. I too have gone to a restaurant and order whatever I felt like because: what the hell does it matter, I’m just a fat slob anyway? has taken over!
Ainsley: I’m glad you found it too, and I hope you come back. I could use all the friends I can find. LOL
March 9th, 2008 at 6:48 pm
Christina says:
I couldn’t agree more. We’re a society that is so focused on being skinny that it’s OK to harass and socially discriminate against people who are overweight. It’s insane.
I can’t wait to get back to 190 and beyond.
Christina’s last blog post..Five Years
March 9th, 2008 at 9:47 pm
Miss Britt says:
Here’s a different perspective:
After I had my daughter three years ago, I started a low carb diet. I lost about 40 lbs. from my pre-pregnancy weight. Taking my five foot frame from about 160 to 120ish.
I was proud of myself because I no longer had to worry when I got dressed in the morning. Yay, one less thing to worry about.
BUT, then people started treating me differently. People started talking about “fat” people in front of me. People started telling me how great I looked NOW.
And I was furious. I am the exact same person I was before. And you know what? I was fucking cute BEFORE thank you very fricking much.
Miss Britt’s last blog post..Sunday Contest: The Baby Brother Edition
March 9th, 2008 at 9:48 pm
mamatulip says:
Couldn’t agree more, Sam. I gained quite a bit of weight when I got pregnant with Julia and I was surprised by some people’s reactions. It also surprised me what people felt was their right to say to me, you know?
I appreciate Britt’s perspective as well; two of my close friends are very slender and sometimes the things that people say to them shock me to no end.
mamatulip’s last blog post..Yesterday’s numbers
March 9th, 2008 at 10:30 pm
samarama ding dong says:
Christina: It’s really insane, and not fair!
Britt: Excellent, and totally true. Weight doesn’t make you, as a person, any different then what you would be with less. That’s completely infuriating. AND after I had Carter I dropped about 30lbs and people would comment about how great I looked. When I returned to work (and emotional eating) the comments stopped. I guess I was less attractive and not the same person as I was “becoming” while losing weight.
Mama T.: Oh yeah, the looks. I’ve been looked up and down by friends from my past and noticed them try to hide their shocked looks – I assume by my weight gain. It’s sad, and painful.
I too have friends that are very slender and it truly is shocking what people deem acceptable to say.
March 10th, 2008 at 9:01 am
J. says:
It’s a nasty situation. Judge not, you know?
And by the way, it’s looking very pretty over here. You’ve been busy.
J.’s last blog post..I Spoke Too Soon, I Think
March 10th, 2008 at 10:41 am
samarama ding dong says:
J: I think people feel they have the right to judge because of the way the media behaves towards larger people.
Well, thank you. It was desperately needed. I am happy and rejuvenated when I look at it now. That’s what this blog needed I think! LOL
March 10th, 2008 at 10:43 am
Gina says:
It’s heartbreaking. I have been up and down with my weight over the years and although I’d much rather be thinner, I’m sick and tired of society equating overweight and obesity with being lazy, dirty, sloppy, a bad person, or unworthy of love/respect/friendship/whatever.
Just last week on Big Brother, they had a contest that required the women (only the women, of course) to be weighed in and there were comments made about how one weighed a “whopping” 130 pounds. Seriously. My daughter is only 4 and I worry about the effect of this nonsense on her already.
Gina’s last blog post..I Miss My Friend
March 10th, 2008 at 11:41 am
LD says:
I can’t agree more on this.
I was actually just reading an article in a fashion magazine about how celebrities are gaining “SO MUCH” pregnancy weight. “So much” was defined as 45 lbs.
As someone who has struggled with weight forever, weight has been a big deal for me this pregnancy. And, as great as I’m doing with it (read: puking and pooping means I haven’t gained 87 lbs like last time), it shocks me how big a deal it is to some people.
By the way … how can you do acrylics when pregnant? I can’t handle the smell!
LD’s last blog post..The hospital Bag
March 10th, 2008 at 11:43 am
samarama ding dong says:
Gina: I SAW THAT ONE!! (Well, I’ve seen them all) but they made Shelia out to be the HUGE whale and I was PISSED! I couldn’t believe it!
It’s scary to think of what it does to young girls when it affects us adults to deeply.
March 10th, 2008 at 11:45 am
Lexi says:
I think the uggy weather is inspiring us all to freshen up our blogs….very pretty!
I feel ya with this one….I’m considered ‘overweight’, and when I see this kind of stuff, it sickens me. Sure makes me glad I’m not famous!
Lexi’s last blog post..Hmm
March 10th, 2008 at 12:03 pm
sir jorge says:
i like curves.
sir jorge’s last blog post..Hot Rod Dvd Review
March 10th, 2008 at 2:02 pm
samarama ding dong says:
Lexi: Ugh, could you image reading that stuff printed about you all over the place. You’ve got to have tough friggin’ skin to be a celeb, that’s for sure.
Thanks for the design compliments!!
sir jorje: Good to know!
March 10th, 2008 at 2:25 pm
sizzle says:
I’ve had that happen where I am reading something and they are going on and on about how gross and huge and blahblahblah this woman is and then they say how much she weighs and it is less than me.
That’s hard to recover from, honestly. It is damaging to one’s psyche.
March 10th, 2008 at 3:36 pm
cadiz12 says:
it is sickening. i see those girls on top model and can’t help but think that our society wants people who look like hangers walking around, poking everyone with their bones.
cadiz12’s last blog post..milestone: year 3
March 10th, 2008 at 4:45 pm
Jenny, Bloggess says:
A-fricking-men. And we just encourage them by buying those damn magazines. I’m putting a moratorium on Natl. Enquirer.
Jenny, Bloggess’s last blog post..Unsent letters to the vet
March 10th, 2008 at 7:49 pm
jennie says:
I agree with all of it, but especially about the judgement part. I think it’s something we could all do with a little less of in the media and in our own lives.
Unless the new judgement is that pants with elastic waists are HOT, because that’s a bandwagon I’d be glad to jump on.
jennie’s last blog post..My standards are low. Really, really low.
March 11th, 2008 at 12:49 am
kellypea says:
Ahhh….weight. My absolute favorite subject. I can’t tell you the last time I was on the scale. I judge by whether my pants feel the same or not, and lately it’s been yes, so that’s good. The roll above the waistband is kind of a drag on most days, but it doesn’t stop me from cooking up a storm and enjoying what I cook. I don’t get any complaints from my hunkster, either. So w00t! Sam. Amen!
Oh, and way cute wrapper on the old blogster, girl. Could you give me lessons, please? Mine’s way ugly.
kellypea’s last blog post..Almost a bloggoversary
March 11th, 2008 at 2:07 am
justmylife says:
My 8 year old, who is all of 50 pounds, keeps telling me how fat she is, how she needs to diet, needs to exercise. I just want to shake her and tell her she is a beautiful young lady and that doesn’t have anything to do with what she weighs. We all tell her she is skin and bones, she is almost as tall as I am and I outweigh her by quite a bit. I want to lose weight, I have gained 40 pounds since I got married 20 years ago, but it has more to do with health than looks. My husband thinks I am beautiful the way I am. Or atleast it seems that way, considering every time I say diet, he comes in with candy.
justmylife’s last blog post..It’s a wonderful day in the neighborhood!
March 11th, 2008 at 12:09 pm
samarama ding dong says:
sizzle: It so is. I just can’t even fathom having that stuff written about ME for the whole world to read.
cadiz12: Ugh, I KNOW! Remember the season where they had to larger girls on there – size 12 and they went on about how they were plus size, blah, blah, blah.. that’s when I stopped watching.
Jenny, Bloggess: I know!! I’ve been contemplating erasing all my feeds to all the gossip mags. I am just so over all that bullshit!
jennie: Hahahahaha, elastic waistband pants. I am so on that bandwagon too!!
kellypea: I bought a scale just after I had Carter and started Weight Watchers (when I lost that weight) and it’s been collecting dust under my bed since I gained it back. I just made my life more difficult and always felt like a failure when I wouldn’t see the results I’d hoped for. This time I’m going to do Weight Watchers on my own and not weigh in.
March 11th, 2008 at 12:16 pm
samarama ding dong says:
justmylife: (sorry I missed you before, you must have posted while I was!) Ugh, just makes me wanna shake her too. I just HATE what that industry has done to children – especially young girls. I’ve seen them at the mall on lunch hour and stuff and they barely eat! I groupd of like, 5 girls will share a small french fry or something and that’s lunch!
March 11th, 2008 at 1:27 pm
Natalie says:
Ugh, it makes me sick, too. It really chaps my hide that you see so much of an issue being made about the problems that come with being overweight, yet very little about the problems that come with, oh, I dunno, ANOREXIA AND BULIMIA. Those are two very real problems in our society that are caused by the very thing you talk about.
I’m sure you already know that designers choose the thinnest models they can find because they make clothes to look good on a hanger, not a real person. It’s ridiculous.
I am probably pushing 200 myself and I feel like a big, fat slob who doesn’t even deserve to be in the company of friends because I’m so embarrassed. I’m working hard on losing it but I just should not feel so uncomfortable about myself. You are so right, those magazines aren’t making it any easier.
March 11th, 2008 at 1:37 pm
samarama ding dong says:
Natalie: I so know what you mean. After having Carter I AVOIDED functions where I would see people from my past. I was so scared of the looks and reactions to my weight gain. I still feel that way sometimes. It’s really awful.
And yes… there is FAR more concentration on being FAT then the health issues of eating disorders. It’s so flipping’ f’d up.
March 11th, 2008 at 1:44 pm
Lisa b says:
Kirsty is just such an amazing woman (well ok that is just my impression bc obviously I don’t know her!) she is the real size of many woman in america and it is shameful for those words to be used to describe her.
That is one of the main reasons I get turned off those trashy magazines.
March 12th, 2008 at 8:53 am
Leslie says:
190? I WISH I weighed 190. Ugh!
It’s amazing how acceptable it is to be cruel about a woman’s weight.
When I was in high school, I was at my ideal weight until I got mono. I lost 16 pounds. When I returned to school, I got so much attention for how “great” I looked. I HAD BEEN SICK! Being young, vain and impressionable, I worked like hell to keep that 16 pounds off and perhaps lose a little more. It was ridiculous.
This is the kind of stuff I really worry about with my girls. I don’t want them to feel like their weight equals their worth.
Leslie’s last blog post..My Radical Little Feminist
March 23rd, 2008 at 4:47 pm
samarama ding dong says:
Leslie: I don’t want them to feel like their weight equals their worth. — Oh, that’s painful to read Leslie… but it’s sooo true it’s sickening.
March 24th, 2008 at 10:55 am