Comments on: Next Stage: Dismantling the Facade http://www.temporarilyme.com/2008/03/12/next-stage-dismantling-the-facade/ Rocking the boat since 1981. Tue, 31 Jan 2012 22:49:22 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3 By: Leslie http://www.temporarilyme.com/2008/03/12/next-stage-dismantling-the-facade/#comment-3068 Leslie Sun, 23 Mar 2008 20:58:05 +0000 http://www.temporarilyme.com/2008/03/12/next-stage-dismantling-the-facade/#comment-3068 I'm a little late getting here to read all this, but I just gotta say that I'm glad you shared this with us. Marriage really isn't easy. It's a lot of work. My first marriage became a disaster. It was difficult and eventually became abusive. It took me a long time to get up the courage (and the money) to just walk out. Though I'm sure it wouldn't have changed the outcome, I would have loved to have had a place to talk about what was happening. I felt like I went through much of it alone. I hope the two of you are able to get things to a place where you are both satisfied. It's a lot of work, but it sounds like you're both willing. I think that's so much of the battle. <em>Leslie's last blog post..<a href='http://mymommysplace.com/blog/2008/03/22/my-radical-little-feminist/'>My Radical Little Feminist</a></em> I’m a little late getting here to read all this, but I just gotta say that I’m glad you shared this with us. Marriage really isn’t easy. It’s a lot of work. My first marriage became a disaster. It was difficult and eventually became abusive. It took me a long time to get up the courage (and the money) to just walk out. Though I’m sure it wouldn’t have changed the outcome, I would have loved to have had a place to talk about what was happening. I felt like I went through much of it alone.

I hope the two of you are able to get things to a place where you are both satisfied. It’s a lot of work, but it sounds like you’re both willing. I think that’s so much of the battle.

Leslie’s last blog post..My Radical Little Feminist

]]> By: Candy http://www.temporarilyme.com/2008/03/12/next-stage-dismantling-the-facade/#comment-2936 Candy Thu, 13 Mar 2008 13:53:54 +0000 http://www.temporarilyme.com/2008/03/12/next-stage-dismantling-the-facade/#comment-2936 I'm really glad you at least got things opened up a little. One of the reasons I haven't broached the idea of counseling to him, is because I have secrets and I don't know if I want to share them. I might actually have to admit to both of us I don't love him the way I used to, and where do we go from there? It's a tough road. Thanks for opening up the dialog. <em>Candy's last blog post..<a href='http://imnopoodle.wordpress.com/2008/03/12/sing-it-tammy/'>Sing it, Tammy</a></em> I’m really glad you at least got things opened up a little.

One of the reasons I haven’t broached the idea of counseling to him, is because I have secrets and I don’t know if I want to share them. I might actually have to admit to both of us I don’t love him the way I used to, and where do we go from there?

It’s a tough road. Thanks for opening up the dialog.

Candy’s last blog post..Sing it, Tammy

]]> By: Brenda http://www.temporarilyme.com/2008/03/12/next-stage-dismantling-the-facade/#comment-2935 Brenda Thu, 13 Mar 2008 13:03:59 +0000 http://www.temporarilyme.com/2008/03/12/next-stage-dismantling-the-facade/#comment-2935 I'm glad you both are willing to try. That's a huge step. It's a long battle with a lot of work, but if you both are willing it will be worth the effort. Hang in there. (((HUGS)))) <em>Brenda's last blog post..<a href='http://pookeybear.blogspot.com/2008/03/6-word-memoir.html'>6 word memoir</a></em> I’m glad you both are willing to try. That’s a huge step. It’s a long battle with a lot of work, but if you both are willing it will be worth the effort. Hang in there. (((HUGS))))

Brenda’s last blog post..6 word memoir

]]> By: samarama ding dong http://www.temporarilyme.com/2008/03/12/next-stage-dismantling-the-facade/#comment-2934 samarama ding dong Thu, 13 Mar 2008 11:51:27 +0000 http://www.temporarilyme.com/2008/03/12/next-stage-dismantling-the-facade/#comment-2934 <strong>Hilly:</strong> Let me know when you're ready, I'll have the <strike>whine</strike> wine and cheese ready - sparkling grape juice for me. *pout* <strong>Pam:</strong> Thanks Pam!! Ya, things are on the upswing for the time being, hopefully it continues, but I'm still very much for therapy. I think it would really do wonders for us. I'm glad that things have improved for you and your hubby! <strong>Shawna:</strong> I remember you talking a little about being in this position. I'm glad that things have improved for you friend!! Hilly: Let me know when you’re ready, I’ll have the whine wine and cheese ready – sparkling grape juice for me. *pout*

Pam: Thanks Pam!! Ya, things are on the upswing for the time being, hopefully it continues, but I’m still very much for therapy. I think it would really do wonders for us.
I’m glad that things have improved for you and your hubby!

Shawna: I remember you talking a little about being in this position. I’m glad that things have improved for you friend!!

]]> By: shawna http://www.temporarilyme.com/2008/03/12/next-stage-dismantling-the-facade/#comment-2932 shawna Thu, 13 Mar 2008 06:34:48 +0000 http://www.temporarilyme.com/2008/03/12/next-stage-dismantling-the-facade/#comment-2932 Definitely worth the effort, Sam! I have been where you are and it isn't fun... but it can get better. Definitely worth the effort, Sam! I have been where you are and it isn’t fun… but it can get better.

]]> By: Pam http://www.temporarilyme.com/2008/03/12/next-stage-dismantling-the-facade/#comment-2930 Pam Wed, 12 Mar 2008 23:23:07 +0000 http://www.temporarilyme.com/2008/03/12/next-stage-dismantling-the-facade/#comment-2930 Fantastic update on the state of "things" in your house. I've been thinking a lot about what you wrote. The way you opened up, shared such personal and raw emotions and I think writing about it helped sort of pull the scab off the infected wound to allow it to heal. I'm SO glad he's willing to go to therapy. Two years ago, my husband "almost" crossed the line and we very briefly separated over his betrayal. I've barely touched on the subject on my blog but he's completely unwilling to even consider therapy. We're better, not all better but better. We learned a lot about each other during the healing process and feel like we've come out the other side in a much better relationship. But FUCK was it hard. Keep sharing. Keep optimistic and most of all, keep loving each other. I have such hope for you. Fantastic update on the state of “things” in your house. I’ve been thinking a lot about what you wrote. The way you opened up, shared such personal and raw emotions and I think writing about it helped sort of pull the scab off the infected wound to allow it to heal. I’m SO glad he’s willing to go to therapy. Two years ago, my husband “almost” crossed the line and we very briefly separated over his betrayal. I’ve barely touched on the subject on my blog but he’s completely unwilling to even consider therapy. We’re better, not all better but better. We learned a lot about each other during the healing process and feel like we’ve come out the other side in a much better relationship. But FUCK was it hard.
Keep sharing. Keep optimistic and most of all, keep loving each other. I have such hope for you.

]]> By: Hilly http://www.temporarilyme.com/2008/03/12/next-stage-dismantling-the-facade/#comment-2929 Hilly Wed, 12 Mar 2008 21:17:50 +0000 http://www.temporarilyme.com/2008/03/12/next-stage-dismantling-the-facade/#comment-2929 I sat down to write my post this morning when my husband interrupted me to get on my case about money...again. As I walked back upstairs to hide in my office, I noticed him looking at me with such vile disdain. Needless to say, I will be writing my post and begging one of you to guest host it....soon! <em>Hilly's last blog post..<a href='http://www.snackiepoo.com/blog/2008/03/video-post-yet.html'>Video Post: Hilly-Sue Does Her Quiz Dare!</a></em> I sat down to write my post this morning when my husband interrupted me to get on my case about money…again. As I walked back upstairs to hide in my office, I noticed him looking at me with such vile disdain.

Needless to say, I will be writing my post and begging one of you to guest host it….soon!

Hilly’s last blog post..Video Post: Hilly-Sue Does Her Quiz Dare!

]]> By: samarama ding dong http://www.temporarilyme.com/2008/03/12/next-stage-dismantling-the-facade/#comment-2926 samarama ding dong Wed, 12 Mar 2008 17:31:52 +0000 http://www.temporarilyme.com/2008/03/12/next-stage-dismantling-the-facade/#comment-2926 <strong>Ainsley:</strong> Very well said. Thank you Ainsley!! And a definite plus would be keeping the conversation on track and throwing in past troubles! Ainsley: Very well said. Thank you Ainsley!! And a definite plus would be keeping the conversation on track and throwing in past troubles!

]]> By: Ainsley http://www.temporarilyme.com/2008/03/12/next-stage-dismantling-the-facade/#comment-2925 Ainsley Wed, 12 Mar 2008 17:22:53 +0000 http://www.temporarilyme.com/2008/03/12/next-stage-dismantling-the-facade/#comment-2925 Those were two amazing posts. When I read your first one, I was so blown away by the truth of it all. I've been in that situation and I can honestly say that counselling WORKS. It is amazing to have an open-minded third party sitting there listening. To me, it felt like a safe environment to discuss any and all issues. The fact that it was a timed meeting meant that whatever the argument was, it wasn't going to linger over days, that the counseller would be there to guide us towards a resolution by asking the right questions. The counseller also kept the discussion on track by not letting us throw in past problems, something that couples have a tendency to do. ;) It has nothing to do with "being an adult" or "knowing your own marriage". Sometimes you just need someone neutral to bring you back onto the right path, someone who will help you find out why you strayed from it in the first place. <em>Ainsley's last blog post..<a href='http://ainse.wordpress.com/2008/03/09/so-about-spring/'>So, about Spring…</a></em> Those were two amazing posts. When I read your first one, I was so blown away by the truth of it all. I’ve been in that situation and I can honestly say that counselling WORKS.

It is amazing to have an open-minded third party sitting there listening. To me, it felt like a safe environment to discuss any and all issues. The fact that it was a timed meeting meant that whatever the argument was, it wasn’t going to linger over days, that the counseller would be there to guide us towards a resolution by asking the right questions. The counseller also kept the discussion on track by not letting us throw in past problems, something that couples have a tendency to do. ;)

It has nothing to do with “being an adult” or “knowing your own marriage”. Sometimes you just need someone neutral to bring you back onto the right path, someone who will help you find out why you strayed from it in the first place.

Ainsley’s last blog post..So, about Spring…

]]> By: samarama ding dong http://www.temporarilyme.com/2008/03/12/next-stage-dismantling-the-facade/#comment-2924 samarama ding dong Wed, 12 Mar 2008 17:09:05 +0000 http://www.temporarilyme.com/2008/03/12/next-stage-dismantling-the-facade/#comment-2924 <strong>justmylife:</strong> Thank you!! We need to talk more, but I was an emotional mess, I couldn't have handled a full blown conversation. I think it was a decent start though. :) <strong>sizzle:</strong> Amen! Let's hope it's powerful enough! <strong>Krystle:</strong> Thanks girl! I can use all the wonderful thoughts I can get! <strong>Karly:</strong> Thanks friend!! :D justmylife: Thank you!! We need to talk more, but I was an emotional mess, I couldn’t have handled a full blown conversation. I think it was a decent start though. :)

sizzle: Amen! Let’s hope it’s powerful enough!

Krystle: Thanks girl! I can use all the wonderful thoughts I can get!

Karly: Thanks friend!! :D

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