March 14th, 2008
The week prior to returning to work from my one year maternity leave, Carter and I began visiting his new daycare. To assist in the transition, we would spend a couple hours a day with the infant class while Carter somewhat picked up on the bit of schedule they had. Snack time, play time, circle, nap etc. I stayed, as requested, since he wasn’t officially enrolled at the time. Though younger then me, I felt comfortable that the teachers were capable for the ten children in their care. Mine included.
I still remember the first day, holding back tears as I walked away from my child sitting in a room of strangers. I remember getting to my car and breaking down as I headed for the highway; for my first day in the office after a year’s leave. As much as I was ready to get back to work; to have adult interaction and to have a little space from being a full time parent, I wanted to turn the clocks back. I wanted to be home with my infant son: to care for him, cuddle him and make sure that nothing ever was able to harm him.
Fast forward to now: 564-ish days later. Carter has graduated from Infant to Toddler and now to Junior Pre-School. The adjustments, I think, has been more substantial for me.
My biggest test has finally been unveiled. I have yet to accept.
Carter’s class has a field trip coming up on March 27. The 25-ish of them, plus the Pre-School class and the Kindergarten class are loading onto a bus and going to an indoor playground for the morning.
Mike is dead set against allowing our two year old to go on a rickety old school bus - sans seat belts - for this adventure.
I am extremely uncomfortable with the idea.
Is Carter ready? I mean, he is only two: to get onto a school bus with little to no protection - not even a damn lap belt! - at that age scares the shit out of me.
Am I having trouble letting go? Should I be allowing this?
BUT THERE’S NO SEAT BELTS!
Carter is strapped in like Fort Knox in our car. His car seat installation checked by professionals. Five point harness, the works. There are car seat laws here where children up to eight years old have to be secured in car seats / booster seats - these car seat laws do not translate to school buses, therefore he would go from secure to NOTHING - not even a lap belt - which really concerns me.
When we were children, my brother and I used to jump around the backseat, lie at the base of the rear window, and play in the floor of the backseat. Could a bus trip, once, for a short while, be that dangerous?
Alas, I declined to allow my two year old son to join his friends on their first field trip. Have I robbed him of this learning opportunity? Am I holding back his development into A Boy - not The Baby that I so long for him to remain? Has my overbearing (Ha!) parenting deprived my child of a crucial step from Toddler to Pre-Schooler?
Time will tell I suppose.
Maybe when I’m trying desperately to saw that umbilical cord with a dull object while pushing him out the door at 25 18.
As I was reading:
..my heart went up in my throat. NO WAY would I let a 2-year old on an overloaded bus with no restraints! How many adults were going to be on this trip (1 for 10)?? nope..no way in hell!
I think that when YOU feel the time is right for Carterman to go on a class outing…will be the RIGHT time. NO, you’re not robbing him of anything…heck…My kid (when he is finally born), won’t be going ANYWHERE until he is 15..MAYBE 10! LOL.
You made the right choice…don’t feel as though you are keeping him from anything.
March 14th, 2008 at 9:42 am
I’d be worried, too. I am still not comfotable with the fact that my 11 year old is un-belted on the bus. When our preschool does field trips, parents come along and drive.
And I think I’d be just as concerned with him being at an indoor playground without my supervision. Even when I take my 4 year old myself, I still panic at least 4 times an hour that I can’t see her. And I swear I’m not a big panicky worrywart either.
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March 14th, 2008 at 10:06 am
Here in Alabama, after the Lee High School bus crash that killed 3 or 4 (sorry I can’t remember) they are trying to get seat belts on all buses. They would not have helped those students, they went over an overpass, but it would help in most crashes. I would be afraid to send my 2 year old on a bus without seat belts. Of course my child would have been all over the bus. Sorry I was of no help in easing your fears.
justmylife’s last blog post..A guide to not look like a complete DORK!
March 14th, 2008 at 10:52 am
Seatbelts save lives.
You aren’t being over-paranoid.
Jeannette’s last blog post..Hot Cock Sauce
March 14th, 2008 at 11:33 am
Jen: Oh, there is more then one bus going. LOL
Gina: I was so wrapped up in the thought of the school bus I hadn’t even thought about the playground. LOL That’s true, I’m not really comfortable with that either!
justmylife: My child would be all over the bus too. For sure.
I can’t understand why there are no seatbelts on buses, what is their logic?
Jeannette: Thanks for making me feel less overbearing! I just knew there was some logic to my concern. LOL
March 14th, 2008 at 11:52 am
I TOTALLY agree with you. I would be afraid of the indoor playground more than the bus ride. I doubt that Carter will be watched ALL the time. He’s only two.
Don’t worry… you haven’t damaged him in any way.
Discount Chica’s last blog post..Swiffer
March 14th, 2008 at 2:12 pm
There is absolutely NO WAY my child would be going on this field trip. Don’t feel guilty. He won’t even know, he will never remember. You’ll get over wondering whether or not you should have sent him but if you were to send him and , god forbid, something bad happened, you would forever feel guilty for going against your gut.
March 14th, 2008 at 2:19 pm
If by being unable to cut the cord, you mean keep him from danger and out of a moving vehicle without a seat belt, then yes.
I’m surprised that it’s even legal to allow a TWO year old, A TWO YEAR OLD, on a bus without a car seat. F that.
Could you have offered to meet the class there?
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March 14th, 2008 at 4:56 pm
Is the school INSANE?????? I would NEVER let my monkey go on a school bus with at this point! We had a fieldtrip and there was carpooling — I won’t even let SOMEONE ELSE DRIVE my monkey. She needs to be FULLY strapped in TO MY CAR (or Josh-O’s or my mom’s) to go anywhere. MY LORD!
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March 14th, 2008 at 4:56 pm
Loving this design by the way! So fresh and pretty and CANDY!
Haley-O’s last blog post..Point Form
March 14th, 2008 at 4:57 pm
ok this seems sort of crazy to me.
2 years old without CAR SEATS… let alone seat belts?
I think I’d say no.
Love your new design!
bananas’s last blog post..The downside of independent play
March 14th, 2008 at 5:39 pm
Never ever doubt your ‘mama-instict’! That’s what it’s there for.
I, also, am very surprised that they’re taking any 2-year-olds on a school bus. You’d think they would at least strap them into a van or something.
Lexi’s last blog post..A Meme in Pictures
March 14th, 2008 at 5:46 pm
I have a two-year-old boy, there is no way he would stay seated without a restraint, that’s a recipe for disaster! No, I wouldn’t allow my child on that field trip. 9 times out of 10, heck 99 times out of 100, the drive would be uneventful, but on the off chance of an accident, the result would be disastrous. No way! And I agree, I would worry about his supervision at the playground.
March 14th, 2008 at 7:11 pm
I just can’t understand why school buses don’t have seat belts! It just makes no sense to me. We get a ticket if our kids aren’t seat belted in but you get a big bus full of 30 kids screaming and yelling which has to result in a distracted driver and the kids aren’t in seat belts! WHY? I just don’t get it.
No, you aren’t crazy. I wouldn’t let my kid go either.
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March 14th, 2008 at 9:57 pm
Heeeyyyy! Look at you and your bad self! Nice digs. Even here in West by god Virginia, the wee ones can’t go without restraints. Piglets preschool transports them in a bus equipped with 5 point harnesses. No way could he go otherwise.
March 15th, 2008 at 12:36 am
Discount Chicka: That’s true, he couldn’t possibly understand at this age. He’ll think it’s great when he gets to play in his old classroom with some of his other friends that he won’t even notice he’s been left behind. LOL
MH: you’re right, the alternative would be FAR worse if I had gone against my instincts.
Pam: I would have loved to accompany his class, but I just can’t because of work commitments (I have a full time job). If that weren’t the case, I would have gone with him for sure! But it baffles me too that they use just a regular school bus. I know there is nothing illegal about it, but I’m shocked that they’d consider it.
Haley: I KNOW!!! That was my initial reaction to the whole thing as well!!
Thanks for the design compliments as well! I definitely needed some fresh to get me back into blogging. So far, I think it’s done the trick!
Absolutely Bananas: I’d be a little more comfortable with it all had the centre owned a big van with seats and that was used for the younger children. But that’s not the case and it freaked the crap outta me! LOL
Lexi: I agree Lexi, and thanks for the vote of confidence on my mama instincts. I was wondering if it was the pregnancy hormones taking over.
Shannon: Ya, can you imagine something like 50 - 75 kids running around an indoor playground screaming their heads off with only a limited number of adults? The ratios are covered and there are also some parents going, but STILL - organized chaos at it’s best!
Karly: Though I had to take the school bus when I was little, I can’t imagine being the driver! I can’t even handle ONE kids chattering and crying in the backseat some days!
Shania: Oh, I LOVE that idea. I WISH there were buses with 5 point harnesses here!! And thanks for the design compliments!
March 15th, 2008 at 9:26 am
No you are not holding back his development! Two years old is still a baby to me LOL And a field trip like that requires immense oversight and that sounded like a lot of children attending to me! I think you made the right call. There will be plenty of field trips for him in time… and honestly, at 2 yrs old he probably won’t even remember this in years to come
March 15th, 2008 at 12:08 pm
You are so not holding him back!!! I totally agree with you. He’s way too young IMO to get on a school bus. 2 yr olds can’t sit still..he’d be all over that bus.
If it helps any, Ryan will be entering kindergarten next year. Busing is available and people actually wonder why I won’t do it. Are you kidding? Even my 5/6 yr old I feel is way too young for a school bus with no seat belts. I’m driving him to school and back everyday. I’d rather have him safe in my own car.
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March 15th, 2008 at 1:12 pm
Hi, Sam– I dealt with this issue a few years back, when my teeny-tiny second child was to be plonked on a schoolbus sans seatbelts, and whisked away on a field trip in jr kindergarten.
I kept her home. She was too young, and too small to be put on an enormous bus full of boistrous young children, and expected to remain in her seat, with minimal supervision. Children BOUNCE on those buses, not just of their own accord. When a driver hits a bump, or brakes suddenly, I have seen children hit the seats in front of them, or the floor.
The only reason I have ever gotten from the people who are in charge of my childrens’ safety when they are at school, regarding the no-seatbelts-on-Canadian-schoolbuses is: The children need to be “free” and ready to evaccuate the bus in the event of an emergency. Apparently, wearing seatbelts would “impede their safety” in this regard.
I call it irresponsible nonsense. And I don’t care WHO calls me neurotic: I do not allow my children to ride the school bus while they are too small… And I drive my older children to their destination, then volunteer to help supervise students while they are away on long-distance field trips (ie. ones that require that they travel on major roads or highways).
Not telling you what to do… but I thought you might be interested to hear how I have had to handle it!!
xo CGF
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March 15th, 2008 at 9:40 pm
I must say that I am with you on this one! I can’t even imagine letting my little guy go on a field trip with that many other kids on a school bus! What are they thinking??
The good thing is, he’s so little that he’s not going to realize that he is missing out on something.
March 15th, 2008 at 10:07 pm
Shawna: Thanks Shawna! I think you’re right. He won’t remember this. I don’t even think he’ll notice that he’s been left behind when the class leaves and he’s playing with his old classmates.
Brenda: I’ve started thinking about the whole busing to school thing since this came up. I don’t know that I could do that either. Time will tell I guess.
CGF: Thanks for your input CGF. You’re totally right about the breaking and bumps. I remember when I was on the bus (at 6 and 7) we would sit on the wheel wells as we went over speed bumps and pot holes to make the bumps more intense. LOL
Lindsay: Yup. I’m glad too actually. I hate to be in the preteens and be told over and over how much he hates me as he slams the doors. LOL
March 16th, 2008 at 10:20 am
I agree with your concerns. I only had my kids in a group daycare for short periods of time (they did much better in home-based licensed daycare). When they were in the center-based daycare and went on a field trip, parents were required to bring car seats, and each car seat was strapped into the bus/van just as it would be in the parent’s car.
Your concerns are warranted. Stick to your intuitions.
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March 16th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
Wendy in MD: Thanks Wendy! I saw a news story Friday about a bus collision with daycare kids on the bus. I knew right that second I made the right decision!
March 17th, 2008 at 10:42 am