March 26th, 2008
***If you’re eating or have a weak stomach this may not be the post for you. Consider yourself warned!***
With all the chewed up food that’s been deposited in my open awaiting hand, the snotty noses, spit up, explosive diapers and uncontrolled vomiting, my stomach has been forced to toughen up. I’ve learned over the past few years that parents really have no choice but to develop an iron clad stomach or we will be eaten alive in this Child vs. Parent world.
Once upon a time I was one of those people that winced at gagging sounds, cringed at snot bubbles and wretched at the thought of cleaning up vomit. Friends and family would play upon my weak stomach as a form of entertainment. Me and my stomach would be at the mercy of their cruel, cruel games. But! Not anymore.
No longer do I run from the sounds of gurgling infant diapers. I do not shy away from allowing a child to spit their discarded food choices into my hand, and no more will I gag at the sight of vomit.
Because people.
Du-du-du-daaaa!
I am a mom.
Dude! She is Fierce!
But I have a cape. So I am Fiercer!
Alright. I digress.
Sure, I’m a mom - but sometimes I just cannot face the stinky diarrhea diaper.
Curdled milk in a sippy cup found in the toy box gets me every time.
Because dude! That shit’s just SICK!
I’ve mentioned time and time again that I am no fan of throw up. I have said in the past that I would rather have explosive diarrhea then pray to The Porcelain God. (Wordpress says that I have about 27+ posts about vomit/barf/throw up. There’s something seriously wrong with that.)
The winds of change are upon us people.
Just last night I made a spinach salad, to go along with my leftover Easter ham - I don’t think I’m ever going to be rid of that damned ham - and after finishing it, I was overcome with the urge to purge: barely making it to the washroom in time. As I sat there, sweating, I took a moment to reflect on the number of times that I’d been in this unlikely position over the past eight months when I realized that I was in fact sitting on the bathroom floor with my arm comfortably perched on the rim of the toilet propping up my head - unphased.
Then it dawned on me.
I was warned that this may happen. I scoffed at the idea thinking just how unlikely that it could ever be.
But I was wrong.
I am now immune to vomit.
* I don’t think it’s really growing on me. I don’t think vomiting is something that someone in their right mind would ever enjoy, but for the sake of a title for this post. Run with it.
(Top commenter, Gawd, am I a stalker? Over the top by 8 comments!) I know how you feel, with my first pregnancy I vomited 4-8 times a day, everyday for 3 months. I got to where I heaved, flushed, brushed my teeth, wiped my face and thought nothing of it. The dread does return. Just wait for the first stomach flu to hit about 4 months after the birth. But diapers? I never got used to the runny ones.
justmylife’s last blog post..Random Chit…..
March 26th, 2008 at 11:53 am
I think a superhero outfit should come standard with every box of diapers, amen.
Kerri Anne’s last blog post..Listen, When All Of This Around Us’ll Fall Over, I Tell You What We’re Gonna Do
March 26th, 2008 at 1:20 pm
Hmm, thinking back to the last little boy vomit episode…nope, still not immune. Did some gagging, I’ll admit. Almost barfed myself when I saw his puke on my new LaSenza slippers. But he’s only 6, so maybe my immunity will come in the next few years!
Ainsley’s last blog post..You’d think I was a rookie…
March 26th, 2008 at 9:38 pm
After months of vomiting multiple times a day, one does become accustomed to it. That time has arrived when you’re comfortable propped against the toilet, unphased, as you say.
March 26th, 2008 at 10:44 pm
I feel ya…you do get to that point.
There have been many, many sippy cups that I’ve simply thrown out cuz there’s no WAY I was going to open them, much less clean them out.
Lexi’s last blog post..ZZZZ….
March 27th, 2008 at 12:14 am
Oh, I’m okay with vomiting once the first (which is ALWAYS the worst) round is over. After that? Yeah, I can handle it! Though I’d much rather have the other, as well.
Oh….and FEEL BETTER SOON!
Devilish Southern Belle’s last blog post..Today
March 27th, 2008 at 12:39 am