I’m lovin’ all the book suggestions that are coming in, please don’t stop!! There’s a few that have been recommended more then once that I’ve put to the top of my list, but they will ALL be added to my reading list for this coming year off.
:::
A couple weeks months ago I eluded to our attempts at potty training Carter. I haven’t brought it up since in hopes that not talking about it would not hamper our efforts because we all know that once we start talking about it and bragging praising our child’s progress, it all goes down the shitter (No pun intended. All right, there kinda was).
Potty training in The House of Me has been gravely uneventful and extremely trying at times.
Potty training at daycare (or school as Carter calls it) has been quite the opposite.
At school he’ll sit on the toilet and pee as requested of him. He’ll sing songs and chat with his teacher and other friends: he’ll declare when he’s finished and wash his hands without difficulty.
At home Carter has no interest at all. He will cry, protest, go limp to the point where I just end up dragging him across the carpet to the washroom.
Needless to say we’re at a crossroad. I don’t, and won’t, continue training at home because I don’t want it to be a fight or turn into a negative that he’s forced to do. It shouldn’t be like that – kinda like training a dog:positive direction, yet, we haven’t found another approach to ease the tension at home. There’s treats, there’s stickers which, surprisingly, he denies when he realizes that he needs to potty to get them. I’ve even contemplated buying a new potty, similar to the one at school, but Mike insists that shouldn’t be the issue.
How many damn potties can I really try? It’s not like their returnable after we’ve attempted to have our bare ass child defecate in them (or through them), and those sucker’s aren’t cheap!
Yesterday at school Carter arrived and left in the same diaper. He had his first successful day of being completely dry (since they’re still trying potty there). Once we got home he REFUSED potty and peed in his diaper, which had remained dry all day.
Defeated.
So it’s not that he’s really not ready, it’s something about us / our toilet / our washroom / his potty that’s preventing any progress at home.
My parents and even strangers have begun to weigh in on the fact that he’s not yet trained and that it’s going to be a nightmare once The Baby comes and I’m trying to train Carter at the same time, extra diaper changes, blah, blah, fuckin’ BLAH. Need I remind you my son is two and a half: I had no intention of even trying potty training until he was three but we’ve begun now because he’s moved to the Junior Pre-school room which is all! about! potty! training!.
I’ve gone so far as tell him that McQueen and Mickey hate being wet (since McQueen is on the pull up and Mickey’s on the diaper), to which he just looked at me and shrugged; completely uncaring that his two dearest friends are being pissed on because he’s adamant about not using our toilet.
For the meantime, I’ll let daycare handle the dirty work and only ask at home. No pressure.
Maybe I should park my ass on the toilet, cover myself in stickers and snack on Smarties: think he may get the hint that this potty training gig is AWESOME! ?
{ 14 comments }
Have you tried letting him pee off the porch? Both of my boys were “nature” boys. Something about peeing outside made it great. My niece refused to use the potty indoors, but would use it on the back porch. We live in the country. What can I say? heheh.
justmylife’s last blog post..100+post!
Ya know, Noise did the same damn thing. Dry for WEEKS at day care, peeing all over McQueen at my house. Eventually he came around. I’ve read several assvice pieces about how kids like the comfort of being taken care of at home, and there’s no peer pressure to influence them. They like how mommy and daddy take care of them, and they’re reluctant for things to change. I did the whole charting thing, and it worked to a point. But I’m not sure it wouldn’t have happened eventually anyway.
Kids do it when they’re ready, and I don’t really believe that a robotic Disney potty or a King Size Twix make a difference either way.
Of course I am STILL trying to get my almost 4-year old to understand that he has to WIPE. YOU’RE POOPING ON SPIDERMAN!!! Yah. That’s not working so well.
The Other Dawn’s last blog post..She Puts the D (and another D) in Dawn
i feel for you, my boy turned 3 march first, and while he can and will use the potty its all up to Dylans discression. sometimes he will sometimes not.
sara’s last blog post..My kid wanted me? What, I’ve got to be kidding myself.
Alas, as much as I love to give assvice, I have none. For Piglet, it’s all about being a BIG BOY and big boys use the potty. End of story. He did have a potty that looked just like a small toilet, though.
I don’t know if you are going to like my thoughts, but, you did ask.
Stop. Stop right now. Do not pass go, do not collect $200.
Can you say POWER STRUGGLE? And you Will Not Win.
He’s only 2.5 years old. That is young for a boy. If he is trained at school, consider it a bonus. You’re stressing yourself out, you’re stressing him out, and it is Not Worth It.
Now remember, I do not know your child. You know your child, and you have to choose your actions accordingly.
Naomi (Urban Mummy)’s last blog post..Blog Hiatus
I agree with Naomi… he’s only two and half!! That’s still a little baby!!!
discountchica’s last blog post..Smart Ones
I think you are definitely making the right decision with the “No pressure” stance at home. He’s only 2.5 and that is YOUNG, especially for a boy. It’s got to be frustrating that he will do it at school and not at home, but keep in mind that at home there aren’t 20 other kids poopin’ and peein’ in the potty too. Also? Yeah, its going to totally suck when you are changing diapers on two kids, but its going to suck even more if you and Carter are constantly arguing about it. Cindy-Lu KNEW when and how to potty for a few months before she actually gave me the satisfaction of DOING IT consistently. Power struggle…kids…they suck.
And thus concludes my assvice of the day.
Karly’s last blog post..Its Like Being In Some Alternate Dimension Or Something
Oh, and forgot to add that she didn’t start using the potty until I backed off and acted like I didn’t care one way or the other.
The end! For real!
Karly’s last blog post..Its Like Being In Some Alternate Dimension Or Something
Big J is 4 1/2 and we’re still working on it. We went through big frustration for a while, and eventually I just gave up. Oh, we still watched the potty videos and put on undies (be prepared for pee on the floor-think of a cute puppy!) and one day he decided to go and he did.
Too much pressure pushes it backward, I think.
Lexi’s last blog post..Sunday….with bonus invectives.
Oh, and in my house, pullups are a joke. They’re just expensive, leaky diapers that you can’t change w/o taking off the rest of his clothes.
Lexi’s last blog post..Sunday….with bonus invectives.
I agree– no pressure is the best way to go!! Wait till he starts expressing a real interest on his own. Maybe summertime would be easier, when you’re home with the new baby, and he can run around outside, bare-bottomed…
One teeny suggestion, though, for when he’s more ready. Cut out a few little shapes out of coloured tissue paper (hearts? stars? cars? whatever…) and float them on the surface of the water in the toilet. Announce that “target practise” will commence momentarily… Challenge him to get ready, aim, fire…
Worked like a charm for my nephew, who was also a former member of the “resistance”!
Good luck! But don’t stress. He won’t go to college wearing diapers. Promise.
xoxo CGF
candygirlflies’s last blog post..April 1
It sounds like it’s a power struggle for him. Kids always act differently at daycare/school than at home. I think it’s his way of trying to be in control of something.
Ryan was exactly the same way. He showed no interest, didn’t care at all. He wasn’t completely trained until 4.5 yrs. He was pee trained at 3 yrs, but the other part came much later.
The good news is that some kids don’t always regress after the baby comes. Ryan actually finally trained just 3 months after Kyle was born.
Hang in there hon. This potty training stuff is hard.
Brenda’s last blog post..Kyle’s first time in the snow
justmylife: Um, I dunno that I’m ready for that. LOL we do live in the city… and I just think about the movie Big Daddy where the kid pees in the plant pot at school.
I don’t want that to be my kid. LOL
The Other Dawn: Yeah, I’m not entirely convinced that a different potty would do the trick – and I TOTALLY see how having friends from school going at the same time would have an impact.
Let’s hope he’s ready to go at home once I’m off on Mat. Leave.
Sara: frustrating huh? I get so happy when he will go, then so cranky when he won’t. There’s no rhyme or reason…
Shania: I thought that would work too… it did with the soother, but potty? Not so.
Urban Mommy: No problem with your suggestion – means less headache for me.LOL
Discount Chica: I know! He’s still very much my baby!
Karly: I’ve totally backed off and I hope it makes a difference.
Friggin’ kids. LOL
Lexi: Ya, I don’t really like the pull ups – but daycare requests them.
CGF: Hahaha, that last line made me feel better! LOL
And we’re working on the sitting and peeing part first… but the shapes are a great idea!!
Brenda: That’s GOOD news. I hope he takes the opportunity to potty training FASTER once the baby’s here! That would be perfect! LOL
Awww, I really wish I had some words of advice. My own children were later to potty train than any children of my friends, but their doctor assured me there was nothing wrong. Maybe Carter just wants to be the baby at home a while longer?
Devilish Southern Belle’s last blog post..No more unfun person! Exciting things galore!
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