My paternal (step)grandmother (my father’s biological mother died when he was 5 years old) was a kindergarten teacher for years. Whenever we would visit them, she would have all these great ideas of things we could do to pass the time – arts and crafts, garage sales, games, etc. We had so much fun when we were little.
I remember that she’s always had fun knitted sweaters – you know the ones – Christmas themed with trees, snow, Santa – the works. I think she had them for just about every season, even ones that we’re seasonal but dawned puppies and landscapes. Very much a teacher sweater.
That’s not my headless grandmother
She loved those sweaters: I think she may still have a closet full.
I think they’re hideous, horrible, and tacky!
Christmas of 1996, I was 15. We were at my grandparents house for the Christmas holidays and just finished up dinner. We were gathering in the living room, as we did every year, to open presents. Everyone was commenting on my grandma’s sweater because it was – you guessed it! – a flashy, hideous Christmas sweater.
At 15, I was less then eager to open gifts with family. I wanted to hide in the basement and watch MuchMusic (Yankees read: MTV); I wanted to be away from the adults, but had to endure the oooohhhs! and awwwwwwes! of all the gift giving.
My turn.
From Grandma and Grandpa.
I rip off the paper and see the box.
I could see a smile creep across my grandma’s face as I peered at the box.
Tabi International.
Tabi is one of those stores who sell those God awful sweaters.
I hold my breath.
I can feel my heart racing and my insides tossing and turning as I pull out this monstrosity of a sweater.
Red, with black trim. White snowflakes scatter all over.
Big. Black. Scottie. Dog.
Dead centre. Like a bullseye.
Underneath it is a white collared dress shirt.
I held the sweater up high in front of my face, blocking my grandmother’s view so she wasn’t able to see the absolute horror on my face which I tried valiantly to conceal.
I think I may have even barfed in my mouth a little.
Upon arriving home, I shoved that box far into the deep, dark depths of the dust bunny world under my bed.
Never to be seen by another human being. Ever. Again.
******
Sure, sure… it’s the thought that counts. But not today! Tell us about the Good, the Bad and the downright Hideous in today’s PBN Blog Blast – “Gifts Gone Right, Gifts Gone Wrong†– sponsored by GetinHerHead.com. You could win a $250 gift certificate to your favorite spa – where you can remember the good gifts fondly (and forget about the bad ones) while you’re being pampered!
justmylife says:
Does my MIL giving me a wash basket full of cleaners count as a bad gift? Was she trying to tell me to clean my house? Yes I think she was. I remember those kinds of gifts, the awful sweaters and sweat shirts that have horrid, cutesy pictures on them. Thanks for the memories! heh!
justmylife’s last blog post..My husband is special. Part 3
April 18th, 2008 at 2:40 pm
Sleepynita says:
I think we al lhave that “gift” we choose to hide in the closet. For me it was a bright pink velour sweatsuit that I got in 1992 (way before Juicy Couture was the way to go). This year it was the 2XL TAN JAY vest my MIL bought me. Major issues because
#1. I wear a large or 12/14
#2. TAN JAY? that is such an old lady thing to wear
Sleepynita’s last blog post..The fear
April 18th, 2008 at 5:29 pm
kellypea says:
Hmmm…several come to mind, but the “robe” from a sleezy lingerie shop rings a bell. Ugly color, flimsy synthetic fabric. Ridiculous ruffles. Yah think it destroyed the look when I put it on over my flannels? Bwhahahahha!
kellypea’s last blog post..Whoa.
April 18th, 2008 at 6:06 pm
Karianna says:
Ugh. The grandparents always seem to gift those things. I have a beautiful blue stone that is in the ugliest ring setting EVER. My grandma thought it was lovely, so I haven’t yet changed it (she is still alive.)
April 18th, 2008 at 6:10 pm
flutter says:
Your diagram almost made me pee my pants
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April 18th, 2008 at 9:07 pm
Redneck Mommy says:
I got the same damn sweater!!!! LOL. But my mom MADE me WEAR it all day long so my Grandma (God Bless her soul) would know how much I loved it.
I can’t wait to torment my grandchildren like that one day.
Heh.
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April 18th, 2008 at 9:15 pm
Shamelessly Sassy says:
Oh, that sweater is classically hideous. I had one similar with random polka dots made of yarn on it, and random fruits. AND it had a turtleneck. What was a girl to do?
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April 18th, 2008 at 11:38 pm
Cassie says:
Wow! I eventually told my grandparents to STOP buying me clothes. EVER. I get gift cards now instead. I saved a few sweaters though, so that I’ll have something to wear when we go tacky sweater Christmas parties!
Cassie’s last blog post..Nursery artwork
April 20th, 2008 at 2:19 pm
Lindsay says:
Gee…are you sure you hid that thing away, cause I think I remember you wearing it to a highschool dance. No?? Haha.
Love the diagram…hilarious!!
April 20th, 2008 at 10:55 pm