Walking to the living room I could hear Carter talking in a hushed tone. Mike was still awake from his night shift, they were laying on the couch together. As I walked around the corner, Hudson in my arms, I was greeted with smiles and good mornings.

Mike said he stayed up a little longer so I could get some sleep. Carter woke just as he was heading to bed so he stayed with him.

I felt grateful that he understood how exhausted I am and maybe even what the past two weeks have been like since he started working nights. Trying to keep a toddler quite throughout the day is harder then turning down chocolate; and how much fun can it be for Carter to have his mother nagging all day to use his “indoor voice”? Not to mention COMPLETELY stressful for me.

Our house isn’t that large and sound carries quite easily. Vacuuming and carrying out regular daily chores is near impossible as Mike is a light sleeper. Showers are held off until later in the day. The baby is shushed and given a soother to quite the coos. The dishwasher and laundry wait until the evening and Carter is taken out to the backyard where he can run, play and speak without being hushed.

Let’s just say it hasn’t been easy.

This morning, since he was still awake, Mike agreed to take Carter to daycare (since he goes three days a week – Monday, Wednesday and Friday) before heading off to bed. This gave me the opportunity to feed Hudson and relax just a little without being converted into an indoor playground, which was just about the highlight of my day.

As Mike turned off the television to get Carter upstairs to dress, the blissful morning memories were swiftly erased by screaming, crying and snot.

Carter completely lost his shit.

That’s when it became apparent he had obviously not slept well.

He screaming and protested throughout getting dressed, getting his teeth brushed, getting in the car and all the way to daycare.

He was hysterical to the point where he could no longer talk. The tears and snot were flowing while he screamed he wanted to wear pants because it was going to snow. Yes. Snow. Don’t ask because I don’t have answers. Absolutely nothing would calm this child and as awful as I felt, I had NEVER been so grateful for Mike offering to take him.

I was really not looking forward to this evening since I was alone with the two boys but thankfully he napped at daycare and was in a somewhat better mood.

Normal bedtime activities ensued, I tucked him in, said good night and closed the door.

He started whailing, almost like the morning.

I opened the door – I know, never open the door! – and asked what was wrong.

Struggling to breathe through the tears: “I forgot to give you a kiss!” he huffed.

I bent down and hugged him as he planted a snotty tear soaked kiss on my lips.

“I love you mommy!” he said as he settled back on the pillow.

My heart swelled and tears formed in my eyes as I closed the door.

Those meltdowns I can handle.

I can’t help it. I’m addicted.

I think about it. I twitter about it. I crave it (the show, not the stuff – anymore).

Weeds is absolutely my new favourite show.

I haven’t been so in love with a television show since Melrose Place. It’s been about 12 years since I’ve last unplugged the phone- because that’s what you had to do 12 years ago (My Lawd, has it been 12 years since Melrose went off the air!?), unplug it – or ignored anyone talking to me while the show was on.

There’s something about television that is just a little on the other side of The Line that I find compelling. It’s not mainstream sitcom or predicable drama; it’s hilarious, very crude and so! my! style! that I just can’t stop watching and wondering.

What shows have completely sucked you in that you find yourself anticipating time alone to watch it in peace? Lost? 24? The Office?

Name your vice!

Gotta go, I have another episode streaming…

::: No time to share the barf at school dance story today – Infant had a low grade fever and Toddler was completely unruly today. I have no patience for age three – that’s another post. :::

::: I’ve been really considering this on-line book club thingy that I mentioned. I haven’t forgotten about it. I’m just trying to devise a way to go about it if there’s enough interest. :::

::: Getting geared up to start working again next week. Spread the word!! :::

Who can tell me what two artists wrote the song my title came from!?

I’ve been devising a post regarding the first time I got obliterated drunk and threw up at a high school dance, just haven’t been able to get it down.

Good times.

So, for now? Random songs from my iTunes.

You know, while I get my shit together.

Time - Pink Floyd

Sinking Like a Sunset – Tom Cochrane & Red Rider

Love Boat Capitan – Pearl Jam

Better in Time -Leona Lewis

Make It Clap – Busta Rhymes ft. Sean Paul, Spliff Star

Burden in My Hand – Soundgarden

Old Apartment – Barenaked Ladies

Skylines and Turnstiles – My Chemical Romance

Hey Ma – Cam ‘ron

Can You Feel the Love Tonight – Elton John (cuz I’m down like that. G. Word.)

Over the Hills and Far Away – Led Zepplin

Let’s Dance – David Bowie

Cover of the Rolling Stone – Dr. Hook

Santa Monica – Everclear

Hangin’ Around – Counting Crows

I’m in a Hurry – Alabama

Think I should download something, you know – new? Leave it in the comments!

I love music recommendations!

Then I can have something else stuck in my head besides this.

This week couldn’t end fast enough. It’s just been one of those weeks where I’m overly tired, kids are a handful and I’ve been a little stressed about Mike and his new job and potential OTHER new job.

I also had an IUD put in again and I’ve been cramping like a mofo.

Was that an over share? Yes?

How about some more?

I started taking birth control when I was 15 years old, in grade 9, and very impressionable. Oddly enough it was kind of like, “all the girls are doing it” type thing, so some friends and I ventured over to the free clinic during lunch hour one day. We naively believed that we’d just walk in there say we wanted pills and we’d be off, fully prepared to have sex, you know, just in case the situation just presented itself. Surprise! It’s Sexy Time!

The three of us stood there, staring at the gargantuan container of FREE! condoms. We were mystified by the colours! and flavours! and so excited about the prospect of losing our virginity to a chocolate! condom. Oh, with. I mean WITH a chocolate condom.

The chocolate turned out to be the most vile and disgusting one.

Just so you know.

Ahem.

Beside that humongous container were brown paper bags.

Bags to fill! with! condoms!

And that we did. Grabbing handful after handful, I wondered if I had enough. In reality, I think I took enough for a small village. But dammit, I was going to have so! much! sex!

Giggling over our stashes, we sat and waited to talk to the nurse. You know to just tell her we wanted drugs and then be back in time for class.

Foolish, foolish slutty teenagers.

Little did we know that getting birth control was a huge process. That shit’s not just handed out like candy at a parade.

The nurse called my name, I was ushered into a small office packed to the roof with books, a desk and in the corner, an examination table. Beside the examination table, a huge floor lamp.

My pulse began to race.

OH! SHIT! I thought. OH!SHIT!OH!SHIT!OH!SHIT!OH!SHIT!

The doctor came in. She looked at me with questioning eyes and sat behind her desk.

‘What are you here for?’ she asked. I looked down, scanning her desk I came across a model of woman’s reproductive organs, I looked up towards her and past her to the medical poster of a man’s reproductive organs.

What the fuck do you think I’m here for? I wondered.

‘Um. Birth Control pills.” I state meekly.

“I see.” she said sternly, “are you sexually active?”

Haha! She said sexually! I thought. So mature, right? “Um. No. But I wanna be prepared. Just in case.”

In case? In case what? A penis just accidentally FALLS into my vagina?!

She accepted my shitty answer.

“All right then. We’ll set up an appointment for you to come back for your pap and then I can write you the prescription.” she stated as she scribbled on a pad of paper.

WHAT! THE! FUCK!?

“I don’t get them now?” I asked. So stupid child. So stupid.

“No. You have to have a physical first, then I can write the prescription for you, you slutty little teenager.”

So she scheduled the appointment. I walked out into the waiting room and was likewise met with ghastly white faces of my friends. It seems they also faced the same situation.

We whispered to each other about having to undergo a pap test and OMG! have the doctor look at our lady bits.

As I clutched the brown paper bag of coloured! and flavoured! condoms to my chest, I convinced myself it couldn’t be that bad. I mean, at least the doctor was FEMALE because OMG! I wouldn’t want a MAN looking at my lady bits!!

So much to learn young grasshopper. So much to learn.

My Dearest Matthew;

I’m not really sure how to start this, so I’ll just come out and say it.

Things between us have changed, our lives are moving in different directions. It’s been happening for some time now, I just wasn’t willing or ready to face it. I wanted to believe that you were still very much the man for me as you’ve been for so many years. I thought I was able to accept your relationship with her.

I didn’t think she would change things. I thought it was a relationship similar to those of the past but I’d be naive to believe that was still a possibility. I can’t be the other woman.

Not anymore.

Especially not when there’s a child involved.

I’ve moved on Matthew and it’s time you did too.

I know this may come as a shock, but over time you will see that this is truly what’s right. I want nothing but the best for you and I know in my heart that I can’t give you that.

It’s not you, it’s me. I just want more. I want what we used to have, and I’ve been kidding myself into believing that was still a possibility.

I will always have a special place for you in my heart.

I’m sorry Matthew, but this is goodbye.

Always and Forever,

Samantha

SO YUM! But I’m so over it (I think.)

I don’t know that I could ever survive BlogHer. I mean, we had a SMALL gathering and I’m still recuperating from that. We talked about blogging off and on for a day and a bit and I’m finding myself completely zapped of all creativity and any energy to type.

I’ve even been lacking in the gossip department. That has to say something since I’m a HUGE gossip WHORE.

Though I haven’t been here, I have been here. I’ve revamped the site for a re-launch August 1st. I’ve been working on a design for one truly understanding client that let me work right up to Hudson’s due date then take some time off. She’s been DYING to have her design and I want to get it to her just as badly! I’m excited to start up again!

Maybe I’ll even work for a couple weeks before taking another hiatus.

Everything’s a little hectic around The House of Me since Mike began his new job. He recently had an offer for another company with more money and a machine to operate right away. Pretty much the Best. Thing. Ever. but we weighed the pros and cons of the two jobs and came out with the one that pays less but is closer to home. Far less traffic equals less commute time! Horray!

As soon as he hung up the phone after declining the new offer, he’s been kicking himself thinking he should have went with the money.

I’ve been feeling guilty because he asked my opinion and I gave it to him.

A part of me wishes I kept my mouth shut.

Whatever. Live and Learn I suppose.

Now? He’s on nightshift for the next three weeks.

My job just got a little trickier. Keeping a VERY ACTIVE toddler and an infant quiet all day while Mike sleeps? Should make for good times.

Especially when Carter’s screaming with pride when he goes to the toilet ALONE!

“I PEEEEEEDDD MMOOOOOOOMMMMYYYYY! I PPEEEEED!!”

Yeah, there’s gonna be one pissy man (Ha! Get it? I talked about pee, then said pissy) around this joint over the next couple weeks.

Anyone up for a playdate?

Or you could just take my children.

I should be writing a recount of my weekend at the Blog Friend Fest in Niagara Falls, but I’m really just not up to it at the moment. It was so fabulous to see the bloggy people I’ve met before and meet some great new ones, it really was, I’m just completely drained and I didn’t even party!

Lugging around a newborn for a full day of blog-talk, walking, eating, schmoozing and wine tasting was much more then I’m used to these days. By the time dinner finished up and everyone was ready to hit the town, I was more then glad to get home and climb into my own bed. Sunday morning, between feedings, Hudson and I slept until 11am. Bliss I tell you. Utter bliss.

Then I walked downstairs and saw the state of my kitchen. Funny how I walked right past it the night before and didn’t notice the shitstorm that had passed through in the 13 hours I was gone.

It’s apparent that Mike still, very much, knows how to live the bachelor lifestyle.

God love him because someone has to.

I have yet to download my pictures and Hudson’s been making up how GREAT he was this weekend by fussing all day. Seriously he was so good, and so precious he even made MY ovaries ache.

He was a busy, busy boy charming all the ladies (and gentleman) Friday evening and Saturday.

Now I think he’s going through withdrawals, missing all his new lady friends.

I just want some sleep.

I swear I’ll share more tomorrow.

Embarking on just about the hottest weekend of the summer, our air conditioner took a shit dive last night.

No air.

It was working fine all day yesterday and then some time between the time I left to get Carter at daycare and when I came back it stopped. Though, we’ve been having trouble with it all season since there’s this part that has to click over to make an electrical connection which starts the unit, but that thing has corroded a little and fuses itself and doesn’t click over.

Amazed that I know that? Yeah, me too. They only had to explain it about four times.

Over the past couple weeks Mike’s been fiddling with the part, as instructed, to get it to flip when it needs a little encouragement. Then last week he had a bright idea to help it a little further with some industrial brake part cleaner; a spray used on brakes to remove gunk, dust and stuff. With a little spark things were back in working order and we thought nothing of it.

So last night was no different – when we started.

Mr. I-think-I’m-handy-at-everything decided to give it another little HUGE spray to get things in motion.

Once he sprayed the connection it sparked alright.

Then caught all the fluid ON. FIRE.

He comes running in the house asking me to get him a bowl of water all while trying so valiantly to hide his panic.

Water on an electrical fire? Geez, even I know better then that!

So I handed him baking soda – even though I had no idea if that was any better. It’s used for some kind of fire, I know that.

Mike’s running back and forth trying to figure out what to do.

We start shuttling bowls of water out the door to get it under wraps, while praying that the water worked.

Finally! Everything is put out.

It turns out that it was just the debris inside (and around) the unit that caught on fire, but the switch thingy that’s supposed to flip? I think it’s really fused now.

“Good news.” Mike states as he comes back inside.

“What could possibly be good about this?” I asked a little pissed off know that there will be no air conditioning all day tomorrow until the service man can arrive. You know. Somewhere between dawn and dusk.

“The nest of earwigs inside is fried.” And knowing how I feel about those skeevy fuckers, he probably thought he did some good.

Stupid fuckdog.

“Totally worth it.” I said.

I was totally lying.

Now as I sit in sweltering heat – sweating just sitting still – waiting for my Prince Charming repair man I can’t help but wonder if I’d rather be carried away by those earwigs then endure another moment of this boob sweat.

Boob sweat sucks.

Earwigs suck more.

And so I suffer.

UPDATE:

Genius fried the AC and the furnace. When he sprayed that shit on the contact it caused it to arc. The wires fused together and sent HIGH Voltage back to the LOW voltage switch in the furnace which then fried the board in there.

Result? Only about a THOUSAND dollars in repairs.

I could have went to BlogHer with that. Well, I could have gotten to San Fran, but probably not back.

Right now that would have been all right with me.

UPDATE 2:

Air is fixed! Hooray!! The man was so quick and friendly even though I think he thought we were COMPLETE morons. Broke morons.

I asked him to leave the part with me to show Mike what his bonehead move had cost us.

Conductor for the air conditioner. Note how completely fried the wires are? Nice, eh?

Do NOT use brake cleaner to clean your A/C. Seriouly BAD!

Seriously cute baby though, right?