July 12th, 2008
There’s so much talk around the internets about Alpha-Bloggers, A-listers, blogging to be published, etc., etc..(and I’m not pointing out that there was something wrong said, just that there’s talk about it, M’kay?) So much so I’m starting to go cross-eyed and now questioning my own existence in the blog world. And why? Why the hell should I care? I began this blog for me because I wanted to write, to have somewhere to share my thoughts and feelings and memories. I wanted a place that I could enjoy being me since message boards were far to restricting, confining and well - required conformance to what the administrator deemed acceptable.
I am my own administrator here, and in my life.
I share what I want, how I want and when I want. Should one enjoy reading what I have to say, well then that’s a plus.
That’s how I started out anyway.
In real life I am very much a Type-B personality. I am laid back and go with the flow (for the most part). I take each day as I can and try not to sweat the small stuff (for the most part). In parenting I pick and choose my battles, I don’t hover over my children, I sit back and let them learn and play.
Okay so I get pissed off about messes in the house once and a while and I freak about shoes left in front of the door. But my kids have stains on their clothes, I leave the house without showering some days and I’ve even been known to shop in my pajamas before.
My blogging personality is so Type-A it sickens me. I concern myself with statistics, comments, designs and rankings. I obsess about the number of comments, why they may be lacking and how come I can’t have 600+ readers too!? What can I do to improve?
I’m always looking to improve.
Improvement is a good thing. Learning and developing skills to make ones self better can’t be bad, but in some ways it very much is - for me.
I fret over the fact that I feel I’m not funny enough, I’m boring, this blog sucks and I should just pack it up.
It seems to be changing me into a self obsessed crazy that determines her self worth by the number of hits, comments and feed readers I have in a given day.
Posts about what you should do to increase readership, successful blog designs, busy sidebars, social networking, blah, blah, and blah are prevalent in the past few months - or I’ve noticed them more then normal - and with that, I’ve noticed considerable changes in the community (as well as myself). While we’re becoming more and more obsessed with the challenges of being successful we’re forgetting about the writing. We’re forgetting about WHY we began blogging. I sure as hell didn’t start this blog thinking that I was going to be the next Dooce - actually, I had no idea who the hell she was, and I think I liked it that way because, for many, how many hits, readers and comments we have has taken away the quality and passion in our written word.
The petty fights over content, brands and other people’s perceptions of us seem to be consuming our abilities to celebrate each other and our own uniqueness that we bring to this community. Really? Who gives flying fuck if two people have the same font in their titles or their names are similar? Does that really change who you are and what you bring to the world? People state their opinion - which they are entitled to do - and it’s perceived as a personal attack and the world comes to an end - for the second time that month.
I say: Fuck That.
I’m not talking about rallying together for a bra burning (or jock burning, if you’re so inclined) or being everyone’s best friend and celebrating womanhood (or manhood) and all that lovey dovey shit. I’m talking about just being ourselves. Be your own person and forget about what others think about you (me), your (my) blog and your (my) traffic.
Just write for YOU (me)!
Now don’t forget to leave a comment so I know how many people actually stopped by and read what I wrote. I’m so (not) kidding.
Awesome post.
Aimee Greeblemonkey’s last blog post..From the Lion King to Thriller
July 12th, 2008 at 11:11 am
Hi, I found your blog thru DGM comments….
Cool site! I am adding you to my favorites
July 12th, 2008 at 12:20 pm
Hi there!!
I’ve been a subscriber to your blog for a while, but I don’t think I’ve ever commented.
This post = amazing. I’m a new-ish blogger and everybody is always freaking out about reading, posting, commenting, blah blah blah blah… isn’t the point to write things that we enjoy and we’ll be glad to look back on someday?
I say, let’s blog and let blog. Amen.
Sarah’s last blog post..The Good, The Bad, the Blonde
July 12th, 2008 at 12:36 pm
Me? I think I am a type-a too. It’s kind of killed my blogging though because sometimes I don’t blog what I want to because I don’t think anyone will read and the lack of comments kills me for some unknown reason. I am that insane apparently. Gah.
I need counseling.
July 12th, 2008 at 12:49 pm
I really try not to be type-a, but then I do something that makes my blog crash and I find out how much it all means to me.
Sometimes, though, when I write just for me, I am sooo self-conscious about it that if I don’t get comments on a post I think about deleting the whole thing. I’m not above begging for comments on twitter and things like that, but then part of me feels kind of slimy. Know what I mean?
heather’s last blog post..Elastic Eight
July 12th, 2008 at 2:17 pm
I don’t think your blog sucks! I don’t comment much but I’ve been reading for awhile.
I have my days where I feel just like this, wondering why my traffic is eh, but most of the time I just try to relax about the whole thing - it’s just a blog!
catnip’s last blog post..more than a little change
July 12th, 2008 at 2:32 pm
Oops wrong url! See, I don’t even care enough to make sure I have my new blog in my comment
catnip’s last blog post..bullet friday
July 12th, 2008 at 2:34 pm
I’m so NOT a type A….I think I’m more of a type Z LOL
I could really care less about how many people look at my blog. Sure, I like the readers. However, I am a writer by nature, and I write for myself. I never really cared about the whole numbers and statistics and stuff. Though I do admit I enjoy the comments (since I get very few), but as you can tell by how often I update my blog, I write for myself.
It’s very easy to get caught up in the hype of blogland.
By the way…I LOVE your blog hon. You know that!!
Brenda’s last blog post..Are you worthy for Toby?
July 12th, 2008 at 2:47 pm
I’m here, your blog rocks.
I have, at most, twelve people who subscribe to my blog. It bothered me for a long time, but lately I’ve realized that I’m OK with that. I don’t play the blog traffic building games and I’m ok with that. I am not fabulous enough for people to flock to me regardless of if I visit them or not. I’m ok with that.
For the most part.
I am not someone who strives for popularity in real life, why on Earth would I care about it on my blog? But I do, and I’m working on not caring.
Lately I’ve taken my blog back. It is MY blog. I write things that I know won’t get many comments and I don’t care. I started blogging as a way of working through some tough times and to write about my son.
I feel a lot better. My already minimal traffic has decreased, but I feel better about what I’m writing. I recently deleted most of my old stuff and started out fresh. It feels good.
You keep being who you are Sam, I’ll come here regardless.
Natalie’s last blog post..The Sordid Life of a Happy Meal
July 12th, 2008 at 2:51 pm
Yawn
July 12th, 2008 at 3:05 pm
Dear Johnny @ 69.156.89.114 , bas1-stcatharines10-1167874418.dsl.bell.ca,
Your comment would be so much more appreciated had you left a valid email.
Thanks though.
July 12th, 2008 at 3:31 pm
popularity = overrated.
i used to REALLY want to be popular…now i’m pretty happy writing for me. and if people like it…GREAT. if people don’t…it’s their loss because i’m friggin’ AWESOME.
(and so are you)
July 12th, 2008 at 4:41 pm
Great post, it’s like you’re reading my mind. Except I never know where the blog throwdowns are taking place. I read about trash talking and hating and competition between blogs, but I never actually see it on any of the blogs I swing by. Anyway, I hear ya.
Jennifer’s last blog post..In Your Face Gymboree
July 12th, 2008 at 5:11 pm
I could not agree more. Very well said, Sam, and very true.
mrs. chicken’s last blog post..The Baby That Ate My Brain
July 12th, 2008 at 5:22 pm
I’m not only commenting - I stumbled you.
Seriously though.
The best line in this whole thing was “I didn’t even know who Dooce was when I started.”
Amen. I kind of wish I could go back to not knowing.
Miss Britt’s last blog post..Fill The Big Gaping Void (that is NOT my vagina)
July 12th, 2008 at 6:13 pm
I’ve had those obsessive blogger moments as well but with time I’ve let it go. If people like it, I’m glad. If not, well, I’m still going to keep on writing.
Chris’s last blog post..Vote For Me!
July 12th, 2008 at 6:14 pm
Amen to that! Blogging is starting to feel so highschool.
Tiffany’s last blog post..Weekend Freebie - Win a Toothbrush
July 12th, 2008 at 6:16 pm
Very well said. I’ve been having a similar conflict with myself, over the same things. While I would like a successful blog (only because I’d like to be able to use mine to possibly generate more side income), I, too, started mine for me. I was in a new place and knew no one, and blogging opened up this whole new, wide world to me, and I’ve been drawn in ever since. I struggle to get back to writing ‘for me’, though I am not as anonymous as I used to be. I am okay with that for the most part, but it does put a censor on some things. I think the little things like that have made me get a little bit less personal.
But yeah…we definitely need to collectively step back from our sites for a minute, take a deep breath, and write for ourselves first and foremost. Well, if that is what we wanted and intended our blogs for in the first place.
Devilish Southern Belle’s last blog post..It’s a good day to…
July 12th, 2008 at 7:04 pm
I’m here! I read this post! I commented!
Kinda funny, too, because right before I read THIS, I read a post about generating traffic. Good timing, Sam.
Karly’s last blog post..Farm Livin’ Is The Life For Me…
July 12th, 2008 at 11:13 pm
I’m a total Type A blogger. I obsess over statistics and comments, too, and wonder if I should be doing more to pull readers in, or worse: I just suck.
I fret over the fact that I feel I’m not funny enough, I’m boring, this blog sucks and I should just pack it up.
Ditto.
On the other hand, I think the blogosphere is so glutted it’s nearly impossible to start a blog today and expect Dooce-like success. It’s hard to find an “in.”
Kathy’s last blog post..Well, at least I’m not drowning in my own sweat
July 13th, 2008 at 6:17 am
I’ve been reading here for a while (in a reader, does that affect your stats?) and even commenting from time to time, and I love what you do. So, keep up the good work!
I was a reader of blogs long before I was a writer of one and started mine as a place to ramble/rant to myself about what’s on my mind (hence, the title). Back then, I used to be “funny,” and it showed; now that I’m not, that shows, too. Although I peek at my stats, I don’t worry about it. I don’t self-host, but I’ve learned how to use what’s available and (generally) and make it “my own.” I can count my “regular readers” on two hands with fingers left over, and I’m fine with that. I had more at one time but then the shit hit the fan in my personal life and it bled over into my writing–it was still my place to go to vent my spleen but knowing it was on the WWW, I had to censor out the details of what was going on in my life and WHY I turned into an asshole, and 98% of them fled. I realize now that the people who stuck around are the ones that matter to me.
PS: My kids also have stains on their clothes, and knowing yours do, too, makes me love you even more!
Angie’s last blog post..It’s In the Mail
July 13th, 2008 at 2:46 pm
I don’t have enough traffice to worry about trying to get more. I do find myself wondering about stats and wondering why a certain post doesn’t get comments, esp. when I think it will really get a response.
All the drama…. I don’t get it. So what if two people are alike? Who cares if she got more hits than her? I try to stay out of it.
I just want to have a nice blog with a few followers and enjoy what I do. I have that so I guess I am happy. I could use a few new followers though…..
justmylife’s last blog post..It’s Monday already?
July 14th, 2008 at 11:30 am
I’m the same - I am type b/c person - type a/b blogger. I do want comments. I do care but I don’t stress so much anymore.
I do kinda find myself wondering how some people end up with all the traffic though.
You see - there’s my type a-ish blogger personality shining through… Damn it!!
nutty mummy’s last blog post..Update to follow..
July 14th, 2008 at 1:11 pm
It’s weird. I used to really care about comments and statistics. Now, I don’t have time. I started a few more blogs, and I don’t have time to check statistics, to obsess over comment numbers, etc. And, I don’t have time to read. While I’d love to read tons of blogs, like I used to, I just don’t have the time! And, I’ve found this has helped me write for myself….
I do try to read my readers’ blogs — because I LOVE my readers!
But, it’s becoming too much to do all the time.
I just gave up — reading EVERYONE, obsessing over the stats. I decided the writing’s the top priority. that’s what I clear my time for. There’s very little time for anything else with two monkeys and 5 blogs on the go! Anyway, as a result, my comments haven’t really declined….
I feel a lot better. I just try to read blogs on the weekend now, or when I’m really missing someone — LIKE YOU!!!
xoxo Haley
Haley-O’s last blog post..Hooters, Horses and Fat Chihuahua
July 14th, 2008 at 9:42 pm
It’s hard not to feel like it’s all a bit of a popularity contest. I switch between not caring and thinking I need to improve my writing, my topics; I need to say things that will inspire people to comment. But it’s just not who I am I think. I like to write little stories about my kid and the occasional other comments on life and I don’t think I’ll ever have a huge readership as a result.
I’m so looking forward to meeting new bloggers in Niagara Falls this weekend because that’s what I love best - reading the blogs of people I’ve met and therefore I feel more connected to them.
Btw - I read your blog through my reader and I’m not a very good commenter… but I’m around
Gliding through motherhood’s last blog post..Matching socks - who would have thought?
July 15th, 2008 at 7:39 am
Hey Sam,
boy you hit the nail on the head with this one. When I first started blogging (almost two years ago) I was a big type A blogger. And it sucked the fun out of it for me. So I stopped blogging altogether and only came back when I got my head on straight.
Now I write simply for the joy of feeling good. To remember there is joy out there. Even in the darkness. And I don’t bother with stats and such cuz I’ll never be where I want to be anyways (as I’m highly competitive) so it’s just easier to avoid them.
I heart you. Was thinking about you and wanted to say hello!!
Smooches, baby.
Redneck Mommy’s last blog post..The Post My MIL Will be Sorry She Read
July 15th, 2008 at 7:02 pm
It’s my nature to be a Type-A blogger, too. And I so wish I wasn’t. I really realized it when, after a brief period of growth in visits and comments, my blog took a dive. I have no idea why. Where did everyone go? What did I do wrong? I obsessed about it for way too long. I considered packing the blog up and putting it away, but found I really enjoy blogging, with or without the readers. Admittedly, it’s better with readers and feedback, but I’m trying to see those things as a bonus, now. Trying. I still judge myself by the number of comments I get. But I haven’t been to my stat counter in weeks and I think I’m better for it. At least for now.
Leslie’s last blog post..Get The Crane Ready. I’m 20 pounds From Being Trapped In My House.
July 16th, 2008 at 11:32 am
I read it!
Hear hear. There are so many supremely mediocre blogs that are “popular” because they do all the work to be popular, when they are really just vaguely entertaining, sometimes. Nothing wrong with that, but I agree, I’d rather read something well-written, true, and personal than a bunch o’ fluff that is all the rage.
Kat’s last blog post..Shakespeare by the Sea
July 17th, 2008 at 1:48 am