I’m in an all ’round shitty mood today. Horrible, horrible mood. I believe I even described myself as a hateful bitch on twitter earlier. (click for a larger view)
Nights have been fuckin’ awful around here lately. Hudson will not sleep unless he’s touching me. Some part of him has to be touching some part of me at. all. times.
Yes, so cute. Awwww… but! As soon as I move he begins to fuss… then WAIL. It’s getting very tired very fast. I haven’t had a decent night’s sleep in weeks. I am a zombie throughout the day and now today? FUCKIN’ BITTER.
The whining, the fussing, the WHINING is enough to make me suicidal, and to top it off Mike whines and bitches that he’s not getting any sleep either. Well, whoopdi-fuckin’-doo. Welcome to my world. Yes, yes you have to work in the morning my love; I too have stuff to do - like take care of little children and KEEP THEM ALIVE!
Last night he even asked me to stay downstairs a little longer so that he could get to sleep before I brought The Hot Fuss™ upstairs. Am I the only person that thinks that makes absolutely no fuckin’ sense whatsoever? Wait until your sleep to bring The Hot Fuss™ upstairs? Idiot. But I did has he asked and it all went to hell in a handbasket as I tried to put the damn baby down so I could take a piss. Hudson fussed, Mike bitched and I fuckin’ lost it.
What the fuck did you think was going to happen? HONESTLY?! You ask me to WAIT until you’re ASLEEP to bring him upstairs? It’s your own fuckin’ fault you fuckin’ moron.
(A tad harsh, maybe. But? Serioulsy?)
So he left to sleep on the couch.
Later fucker.
I got to share the bed with The Hot Fuss™ for the night while he squirmed, fussed, nursed, farted and slept. I, on the other hand, tried to stay perfectly still so not to roll on top of him and smother him with my giganiticness.
HOT MESS.
I have the pack n’ play wedged beside my bed but it’s not good enough for him because: OMG OMG, I can’t feel you - any part of you - TOUCHING me CONSTANTLY!
The thing is: this? This has been going on for over a month now and I mah brainz r fried! I can’t handle living in this foggy cloud of anger; being deliriously tired all the time. It’s aging me so fast: by next Friday I’m likely to be an extinct dinosaur. Bring on the fuckin’ ice age! Maybe then it’ll be fuckin’ QUIET!
Today I’m dragging the old spare bed back into the nursery and moving there with Hudson. Maybe this way we can both get a decent sleep, even for a couple hours. I’m just so frustrated because Carter wasn’t like this; at four months he was sleeping through the night already - I know, I know all babies are different but I no likey this different. This different fuckin’ BLOWS!
Oh and to top it all off? Get an email this morning from a co-worker telling me that they received a messege from my “temptingmama” account. Even though I specficially told gmail to send it from my other personal account it tacks on a fuckin’ messege saying that it was sent from temptingmama ON BEHALF OF … Someone please explain that to me?! WTH is THAT!? So mad. So so mad.
I am so close to just locking myself in the closet today.
I just want to run away! Run away!
Oh, and if you’re wondering how I had the opportunity to write this post?
* The Hot Fuss™ coined by her, stolen by me.
Dear god. I wish I could help. My boobies offer nothing, but I could at least bring you a drink. I’d gladly let that little baby sleep on my muffin top to give you some shut eye. My boys are 5 and 3, and baby days are over for me. Sad and gleeful at the same time. Hang in there.
October 3rd, 2008 at 11:59 am
My daughter (and hubs) were exactly the same. She would vomit every time I tried to put her in a crib. I just gave in and put her in a sling for the next two years. We did family bed, too. I was always so afraid of rolling over on her, but you know what? Even when you are sleeping the exhausted sleep of the dead, a part of you is very aware of exactly where that little sweet baby is and life in the family bed is very very good. Wishing you many warm snuggly naps.
October 3rd, 2008 at 12:12 pm
Ok, so it sounds like you totally need this: The Zaky Hand pillow. No lie. I think it might work.
October 3rd, 2008 at 12:19 pm
Oh my goodness, Stewie was Just Like This.
For what it’s worth, here’s what I did. And it took months of figuring it out (he wouldn’t sleep without touching me at all for the first 3 months of his life. At all. Day or night.)
Here’s what I did to finally get him to nap without me.
1. Swaddle. The miracle blanket is just that - a miracle.
2. Bassinette. Small, cozy, comfy.
3. Sleeping on side. Don’t get all “oh they need to sleep on their back” on me. I know.
4. Behind his back I would put a hot water bottle wrapped in one of my t-shirts. Gave the right amount of pressure to mimic a person, as well as the warmth.
5. Also had another stuffed toy in with him (I know, shut up) to help “fill the space” and make him feel secure. (for the record, it was the lamaze inchworm)
It was a very tenuous dance to get him down. All the factors had to be aligned, and, well, there couldn’t be any full moons, sunspots or random weather disturbances!
Good luck. It does get easier, you know it does!
October 3rd, 2008 at 12:30 pm
I know the last thing you need is assvice, but a couple things I’ve heard of…
1. Place a heating pad in the crib/playpen while he’s nursing, then remove it before you lay him down. The mattress being pre-warmed may do the trick.
2. Give him a blanket you’ve slept with up against your skin, so his bed can smell like you.
3. Vodka. (for you, of course!)
I wish I lived up near ya so I could give you a much needed “vacation day”. They work wonders!
October 3rd, 2008 at 1:06 pm
I so wish I could help you!!! Maybe you could get one of those baby co-sleeper bassinets? That way you can place it next to your bed for him to sleep?
I wish I could come babysit for you so you could get some sleep. Hang in Sam!!
October 3rd, 2008 at 4:46 pm
something!! (see, I follow directions…)
October 3rd, 2008 at 4:58 pm
SOMETHING (and I’ll hold Hudson while you take a shower next weekend)
October 3rd, 2008 at 5:15 pm
Oliver was the same way.
I feel for you.
I also love your muffin top, though I’m jealous slightly that it’s significantly smaller than mine.
October 3rd, 2008 at 6:10 pm
Ooooh, look! I’m not “Anonymous” today! I’m back in your blog’s good books, eh?
October 3rd, 2008 at 6:11 pm
Hey comments are working! Not that I have any good advice…
I had a hot fuss baby too, but he turned into a great sleeper, I swear!
October 3rd, 2008 at 6:34 pm
Yeah…we’re going through the SAME THING with Maddie right now. AND SHE’S ELEVEN MONTHS OLD. Well, to be fair, 8 1/2 adjusted. STILL. TOO OLD! NO SLEEP! NO SLEEP! NOOOOOO SLEEEEEEEEEEP!
October 3rd, 2008 at 6:49 pm
Oh GOD.
I KNOW. Shaggy had The HOT Fuss!™ this morning for, like, hours. And by “morning” I mean “before sunrise” and not in a romantic, sweet kind of way.
I owe you that thingie. Thanks for reminding me to look. I am going to the basement now.
xoxox
ps - are your husband and mine separated at birth?
October 3rd, 2008 at 7:29 pm
OK, I know this isn’t helping at all, but — I LOVE that picture of the two of you. Don’t hate me! I say this as a friend, as someone who’s been there, as someone who is far enough removed to appreciate these moments. I’m sorry. I know you don’t think so, but it’s a beautiful picture.
I’m sorry things are hard right now.
October 3rd, 2008 at 8:40 pm
Back per your Twitter request
Test baby, test baby, 1-2-3!
(I’ll add $5 to your bill if you can name that song, too.)
October 4th, 2008 at 9:41 am
The ladies above offered some great advice. (”assvice” made me lol) My first was very much the same way, but as soon as I (literally) moved her to a confined space to sleep (we didn’t use her crib forever, and stuck to the tiny bassinet) she finally started sleeping much more soundly. Apparently it’s womb separation anxiety or something, and they need that swaddling to feel secure.
I hope it gets better for you, very soon. Hang in there.
October 4th, 2008 at 11:17 am
@ maggie, dammit:
I think it’s a nice picture…I feel all warm and fuzzy when I look at it. That’s a good thing, right? I don’t want to rip it up, it doesn’t make me sick to my stomach, so it *can’t* be as bad as I may think it is… I think….
Ya, things are a bit difficult at the moment, but friends like you (and the rest of you) make it easier!
October 4th, 2008 at 1:40 pm
@ mrs.chicken:
You know, when I was writing this post, all I could think about was you - hence the reason I borrowed your The HOT Fuss!™, LOL.
Who knew cutest could be so irritating! LOL
October 4th, 2008 at 1:42 pm
@ heather…:
Does she need constant holding and cuddling? Because - OMG I can’t do this for another four months!! LOL
October 4th, 2008 at 1:45 pm
Hi!
October 4th, 2008 at 2:13 pm
Awwww….poor little guy, erm, sleepy mama. I feel for yah, girl. Hang in there. He’s a handsome one! And good taste in specks btw. Like mine!
October 4th, 2008 at 2:14 pm
The Incredible Shrinking Woman says:
[...] Sorry I left that last post up so long. It got a lot of attention, and then the weekend hit and I got busy going rock climbing and stuff with this lovely lady. Her and I are traveling to BlogHer Boston this weekend with Sam from Temporarily Me and Sam’s newest addition Hudson The Man. [...]
October 6th, 2008 at 2:58 pm
I’m so happy you linked this post on Blubber Overhaul! OMGosh how funny. Love them pictures.
Oh and it doesn’t get better. My youngest Aysha is 4 and still won’t sleep without touching me. The first year of her life she slept with my boob in her mouth. It was the only way I could get sleep. So I just left it there all night. I’m hoping I can kick her out of my bed by age 5.
October 8th, 2008 at 2:11 pm
Oh you poor thing. Been there done that. My boy literally didn’t sleep more than two hours for FIVE MONTHS. “Zombie” isn’t enough to describe what I went through. I survived on a series of naps, quite frankly, and I don’t have any idea how I did it, I just DID.
BTW, my “baby” just turned 16. It *does* get better. Just not real soon.
I like Lexi’s comment up there about the heating pad and the blankie that smells like you. Great idea! Also try some lavender lotion or bath stuff before he goes to bed. It will help him to sleep, and you too!
PS he can still keep me awake at night, although the nursing has pretty much died down LOL
Moon HalloranLeady´s last blog post..The weather’s crispy and Samhain is coming
October 19th, 2008 at 2:03 pm