October 13th, 2008
You never really know what you had until it’s gone. It’s so unbelievably true; when relationships die it’s extremely painful. My two best friends and I were inseparable during high school I even lived with both of them for a short time when things were rough at home. We experienced many of our firsts together, but when we separated at the time of going off to college things changed. Our lives headed in different directions and as much as we tried to stay together, it just wasn’t happening. The two of them remained inseparable while I was left entirely pushed aside. Though our relationship had gone through some serious bumps, one of them was still my Maid of Honour when Mike and I wed. Though, when she married a couple months later and I was expecting Carter, things changed.
That phone call and the one that followed, I’ll never forget. My heart was broken and I knew then I had lost the friend I considered a sister. When she announced that she was getting married, I too shared with her that I was expecting. We were happy for each other and giddy with anticipation as we discussed our futures, her wedding plans and our anticipated baby names. Just a few days later, she called me to discuss wedding stuff where she mentioned to me that she now didn’t want me to stand up as her Bridesmaid because I was going to be seven months pregnant at the time of the wedding. Being that it was in July she assumed that I would not be able to tolerate the amount of standing and walking that would take place.
As she tried to convince me that this was the best thing for me, I was weeping. I was so disappointed and heart broken as I knew that this was where our relationship was ending and there was nothing I could do about it.
A few months later, after her wedding, when I was in the hospital after giving birth, she called to wish us best, which I was grateful for. But after that I rarely heard from her; she’s never met Carter. Our relationship is very much a thing of the past and I am pretty certain that it’s not ever going to be the same.
It’s so painful. Heart wrenchingly painful.
I never thought that I would really have friends like that again. You know the ones? Where you can share absolutely everything and not even think twice about what comes out of your mouth? The ones that don’t judge you if you’re unshowered, teeth aren’t brushed and can laugh with until you cry?
That was until the weekend. When I finally met them while we traveled to BlogHer Reach Out in Boston.
This weekend I laughed until I cried so much it still hurts. My heart aches now that we’ve gone back to our regular routine, and I feel as though a part of me has left with them and I’m dying to see them again.
I love you. And? You totally made me cry when I read this. I’ve never felt so close to two ladies as I did this weekend. I’ll treasure the memories forever. For now, I’ll set about putting back together my exploded pancreas and work on getting back to you both again! HUGS!!!!
Double Agent Girl´s last blog post..BlogHer Out Reach: Boston Style
October 13th, 2008 at 8:41 pm
You will see us again.
In fact, look out your window.
That was kinda creepy. Creepier if you say that in my tranny voice.
Seriously, you are fantastic beyond words. I have not felt so much like I belonged with friends since…well since I met DAG.
P.A. Day FO SHO.
xo
Karen Sugarpants´s last blog post..Thank Goodness For Technology, and Good Samaritans
October 13th, 2008 at 9:33 pm
What a sweet post…it sounds like you’ve made two very lasting friendships!!
October 13th, 2008 at 10:49 pm
I am SO glad you had fun!
October 14th, 2008 at 12:37 am
That brought tears to my eyes. It hurts so much when a friendship dies. Finding new friends is so amazing, that’s one of the reasons I love blogging, because of all the new friends I’ve made.
October 14th, 2008 at 7:07 am
Wow–I had a very similar experience with losing a friendship. I was pregnant and did serve as her MOH, in the middle of severe morning sickness, in fact–I traveled all the way across the country to do it. And since then, we have not seen each other, she’s never met my son, and we never talk anymore. I’m still not sure what happened, but I guess life just changes and you move on. I’m glad you found some great new people to fill the void!
October 14th, 2008 at 10:30 am
Love this post…made me miss my former BFF who (thanks to Facebook) I am kind of connecting with again. But this your story strikes such a chord in my heart. Glad that BlogHer was a great experience! So glad you joined Twittermoms.
October 14th, 2008 at 11:15 am
i could have written this post, even down to the bridesmaid thing. hugs.
ali´s last blog post..dumped. dunked. and decluttered.
October 14th, 2008 at 2:11 pm
And I don’t have anything more to say, but testing the commenting for you,so please go ahead and delete my random waffling!
Vic @ Glowstars´s last blog post..Be Our Guest
October 14th, 2008 at 4:03 pm
Friendships dying seems to be inevitable as we get older and hit those milestones… but it’s a cycle, and we see new friendships in their wake.
iMommy´s last blog post..The one in which I make an ass of myself…
October 15th, 2008 at 7:08 am
@ ali:
Totally sucks, eh? Nothing like ripping your heart out and stomping on it while you’re already in an emotional state.
xox
October 15th, 2008 at 12:13 pm
@ Aimee (journey2learn):
Thanks for the wonderful comment and hope we have a chance to talk more!
October 15th, 2008 at 12:14 pm
@ Vic @ Glowstars:
I’m with you chick. As much as many people just don’t understand it, blogging has brought a lot to my life and I’m really grateful for it!
xox
October 15th, 2008 at 12:15 pm
You found what I found with Her Bad Mother and Mama Tulip and Oh the Joys and One Plus Two!
I’m so happy for you girl.
I’m also happy blogging brought me you. You are one of my lights, my friends.
Thanks for that Sam.
October 17th, 2008 at 5:54 pm
I think breaking up with friends can be more painful that a romantic break up.
jodifur´s last blog post..It’s Shoe Friday
October 17th, 2008 at 6:12 pm