I saw you as we entered the store. One child up front in the seat and the older one in the back, standing. I thought to myself: I hate when people do that. I didn’t think much of it after that, after all I’ve seen it so many times now.
I busied myself with my children and our own shopping, I saw you pass by again. You were distracted with the little baby up front while your older boy stood hands-free in the back, to which I winced. As I return my attention to my children and the snowsuits, I heard it.
The unmistakable sound of flesh hitting tile. The thump! of bone meeting a hard surface.
I heard you gasp and loudly whisper: Oh God!
My heart sank.
As you scooped up your son, I resisted the urge to run to you.To scoop you up and tell you that he’s all right. I wanted to bad to say that we’ve all be there at one time or another. To say, it’s not your fault. Don’t blame yourself.
But I did nothing.
I was worried you were about to cry as your voice cracked while inspecting your son for boo boos. I fought so hard not to go to you. If it had been me and a stranger approached? I would have begun bawling; I didn’t want that for you.
As your son buried his face in your neck I wanted so much to sweep up my own offspring into my arms and shush him too, though he wasn’t even crying, but running around somewhere out of sight.
Let’s go home, you said as you took your child into your arms while he continued to whimper, the younger one starting to cry in the shopping cart.
I busied myself so you didn’t see me watching, thinking I was judging when I most certainly was not. I was feeling for you. I was hurting for you and I was wanting to turn back the clock ever so slightly so I could be there and stop it from happening.
I’m sorry.
{ 16 comments }
Oh man, my kids ride like that all the time, but I do make whichever big kid is in the front sit down. I’ve heard of kids dying like that. I would’ve cried too if a stanger came up. I’m sure you did the right thing!
Wendy´s last blog post..Adventures in Rudeness
The unfortunate thing is that if you appraoched her beforehand, she probably would have felt like you were judging or interfering and not been happy about it. But what an awful thing to have happen. Poor lady.
kittenpie´s last blog post..I Am By Turns Ranty, Bitchy, and Delighted This Weekend
Ugh. When I worked at ShopKo, I saw a child fall out of the cart and land face first on the tile. It wouldn’t have been AS BAD if the mother showed any sign of concern or remorse, but all she did was look at the crying child and say, “WELL THATS WHAT YOU GET. GET OFF THE FLOOR AND SHUT UP.” I’m a strong believer in not interfering in other people’s parenting, but I almost walked over to the lady and slapped her in the face. I was so mad I asked my manager if there was anything we could do but he refused because he didn’t want to cause trouble and lose the customer.
Julia´s last blog post..Hidden Trails
Wow. I’m sure that mom was terrified, and the kid will probably never stand up in a cart again.
catnip´s last blog post..weekend craziness
@ kittenpie:
You’re so right KP, that’s one reason I just stayed out of it all, watched from afar. Felt for her from afar. *sigh* The kid couldn’t have been more than one and a half – he was really young.
Totally hear you about feeling terrible when I see this. Before I was a mom I was all “well, the mom should not have let their child do that in the first place”. Now when I see it I want to cry. It’s like something biologically changed in me and when I see little ones hurt themselves I feel hurt too. And it’s something about the thump/smack of the child hitting the ground specifically that puts me in tears. Why IS that???
I was at the zoo with my girl a few weeks ago. A little boy and girl were sitting on a low, wide concrete ledge near a pond looking at pelicans while the mom sat on a bench behind them. I felt like something bad would come out of it, and next thing I knew, I heard “smack”! The little girl had tumbled back onto the pavement near her mom and was a total crying jumble. I literally had to take my daughter and leave because I was going to cry too. I felt like the mom (had she noticed me) would think I was judging her whereas I just felt like crap for her and her little girl.
*sigh*
I’m a softie now.
Oh see, I am all for approaching the stranger mama. Somehow, it always seems to make everyone feel better.
Miss Britt´s last blog post..Why you should probably not invite me to your Passion Party
Elliot rides in the back, but she’s usually sitting. The sound of that thud of a kid’s head hitting the ground is so awful. I hope that poor kiddo is okay.
awwwwww…
MommyNamedApril´s last blog post..I Caught a Rabbit!
oooof, my heart.
flutter´s last blog post..I Was Not Judging You, Promise
Talk about pulling at my heartstrings. I’ve never let my kids do that for exactly this reason – so scared they’d get hurt, and I’d feel absolutely awful!
Marylin´s last blog post..I Was Not Judging You, Promise
You seriously are a wonderful person just because…you may not have said what you wanted to, but you felt it and continue to feel it now.
I have been there wanting to say something but not doing it. I never know exactly how it would make the mother feel.
These moments are the hardest, when you aren’t sure – but I am sure she didn’t think you were judging her. Sometimes a gentle smile is all we can offer, without crossing that line and I totally get that.
I worked for a retail store many years ago. I actually witnessed a little guy of about 4-years old standing on the outside of the shopping cart while a little girl (maybe a year old?) sat in the seat — Mom took her hands off the handle and the cart tipped over on top of him, taking the baby down with it. It was awful.
I found this while researching a blog I am writing on Judging. Let me just say, it brought me to tears. Thanks for sharing.
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