I am Head Over Heels in Love with Two Gay Men

Yup. You’ve read that correctly. I am in love with a couple of gay men.

I believe I’ve always had a soft spot for homosexual men. I’m not quite sure why, but Colin McAllister and Justin Ryan are my two most favourite gays. Ask Karen Sugarpants, I talk about these two constantly.

I can’t tell you why or how this affinity for gay men came about, but as far as I can remember, I’ve had a feeling of comfort with them – which is even more strange because I don’t have any openly gay men close to me (Well, accept if you count my neighbours – but they are only close in proximity.).

It gets weirder.

I even have a sexual attraction to these two. I KNOW! Them and all their flamboyant gay-ness make me hot. I can’t even explain it, nor do I really care for an explanation, I just revel in the fact that they are gorgeous, funny and passionate. So neither of them have an interest in women. Small detail.

About six years ago I asked Mike to go with me to the gay pride parade to which he begrudgingly obliged.  Mike is not a homophobic person, but he is not comfortable like I am; he was not looking forward to this ‘adventure’. Even though he’d never admit it, I believe he was just a little curious about how the whole thing would go down; the whole time, he stood quietly at my side, even holding my hand tightly – I assume to ward off those prowling gays because they’re like vampires, yanno *rolleyes* – and even kept his usual derogatory comments to himself.

Nothing really significant happened that year and I was able to convince him to go with my the following year.

This time? This time was a little different.

As the parade passed us by, we stood on the sidelines, close to the route.

I kinda peaked out of the corner of my eye and noticed that he was smiling and seemed to actually be enjoying himself. Who knew this macho man’s man would enjoy a highly flamboyant event such as the Pride Parade? But! That all came to a crashing halt when a man, dressed as a fairy – covered in glitter, in a speedo and wearing wings – approached Mike with a watering can labeled ‘fairy dust’.

I think you can guess what happened next….

The guy sprinkled his dust atop Mike’s head.

As Mike’s face changed rapidly from enjoying his time to utterly pissed off and I began worrying what the outcome was going to be. The headlines flashed through my mind: A gay basher beating up a homosexual in the midst of the Pride Parade.

Not good.

I held my breath as the fairy passed.

I watched Mike’s expression soften a little as I smiled at him.

I think he likes you! Maybe he thought you were hot and could change you so that you could be boyfriends. I teased.

Mike glared at me, which only made me laugh more.

Fuck. you. He spat out. We’re NEVER coming here AGAIN.

I was almost in tears I was laughing so hard.

Needless to say that was our last Pride Parade.

He doesn’t speak of The Incident, but I believe it still haunts him because every time he sees Colin and Justin come on the television his eyes glaze over and he leaves the room.

{ images from HGTV.ca }

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Tagged as: Colin and Justin, gays, Pride Parade