Someone “Up There” Has a Sick Sense of Humour

Six weeks Mike’s been without work. Six mother humping weeks.

FYI: There was no mother humping taking place, for realz.

Six weeks of my husband being around 24/7 and to tell you the truth, save a couple of tense moments, it was actually really nice. Being out numbered in the children to parent ratio can be very daunting on the best of days so to have that back up was more or less fuckin’ fantastic!

But today, Mike’s got a damn job. FINALLY! Today, before the break of dawn he was up scrapping off his car, warming it up and getting out on the highway while I snuggled in bed with a clingy little infant baby – who by the way we call The Stage Five Clingerâ„¢ because this kid? This kid looses his shit entirely if you leave the room or are out of touching range.

Yes. AGAIN. The Hot Fuzzâ„¢ has returned. WITH A VENGEANCE!

Fuck.

As The Stage Five Clingerâ„¢ and I cuddled in bed, the phone began ringing. As I rolled over to look at the time – 6:00am – I figured it could only be one person calling at the ungodly hour so I did what any concerned wife would do.

Rolled over and went back to sleep.

Then it rang again.

And as this concerned wife does, I cursed him for being a douchebag as I made my way out of the warm comforts of my bed to locate a phone.

Srsly? THREE fuckin’ phones in the house and not one can be found? STOP RINGING!

I answered with a friendly morning greeting. “What?”

His reply: “We have a situation.”

A situation? Who do you think you are Jack Bauer or something? Who the hell says that? ‘We have a situation?’ Situation. *pffft*

(Yes. I am extremely bitter and angry when I’m woken up.)

That “situation” turned out to be a tire blowout on the highway caused by the suspension coil snapping.

Thankfully he made it safely to the side of the road and called a tow without any other major mishaps.

But did I mention he’s been off work for SIX MOTHER HUMPING WEEKS!

We’re down to our last couple hundred dollars and then this?

I’m pretty certain that should there be a God, he’s totally laughing at us right now because if he didn’t laugh? He’d be crying too.

I am grateful that Mike’s alright and no one was harmed, but still, it seriously SUCKS.

Speaking of being grateful. Today’s post was going to be dedicated to Schmutzie‘s baby Grace in Small Things, which I have decided to be a part of this year. The gist of it, as described by Schmutzie:

Grace in Small Things exists because the world we live in is loud and harsh and bright and demanding, and it is easy to slide into a less than thoughtful survival mode in which we do what we have to do to make it through the day with the least amount of strife possible. We allow it to rob us of the time and energy to be mindful of ourselves and those we love and to recognize the grace that exists in small things.

It is with this thought that I, Schmutzie, have created Grace In Small Things. Every day for 365 days, I will post a list of five things that have graced my life, either on that day or at any time in my life. Feel free to join us here. Or mock us. Or, you know, do whatever is in your heart. You can start on whatever day you want, so if you come across this six months from now, don’t let that hold you back.

I challenge you to give Grace in Small Things a shot, because life is too short and love is large.

So each day over the next 365 days (if I remember and don’t cop out), I’ll be sharing five small things that I am grateful for.

Starting now.

Grace in Small Things: Part 1 of 365

1. Mike’s safe and sound after this morning’s situation. *snort* (The snort is at ‘situation’ not Mike’s safety, so you know.)
2. Coffee makers with a timer. (Duh.)
3. Microfiber socks
4. Four hours of consecutive sleep
5. Understanding new bosses who are alright with their new employee being late on their first day.

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Tagged as: Grace in Small Things, life, rants, WTF