Because Now is Time

After our first family get together in ten years, I’ve been left numb. Truths have been spoken – at least what I believe to be truths – light has been shed. The image of my past is slowly coming into focus. I’m not sure whether I should patiently wait, watching, as its images become clearer or do I look away and keep the images I have forever burned into my mind intact?

I am beginning to learn things I’m sure I was never expected to find out. I’ve asked that the veil be removed, my life not be cloaked in secrecy trying to protect me. I’m no longer a child. I want to know. I need to know.

For the past three days, my newly re-found family has called on me for support as my great-aunt has not been well since her daughter’s passing (My “Aunt Liz” is technically my second cousin Liz). Her eighty-four year old mind has been affected by dementia and her health has rapidly declined over the past month. Since comprehending the passing, she quickly spiraled into grief so deep she stopped eating, drinking and sleeping.

Her husband, my great-uncle has been trying to care for her himself, while he too grieves the loss of their only child. He’s not sleeping since all his time has been spent watching and following my great-aunt as she leaves lights on, forgets that she turned on the stove or began running a bath. He’s reached his wits end.

My Aunt M called Sunday night in tears explaining what has happened and how – now more than ever- we need family to rally together. We need to help our elders as they cope with their new stage of life; a stage where they are currently preparing to move from their family home into an adult living / retirement home.

So I’ve been driving 2.5 hours round trip each day to help my eighty-four year old grandma (everyone else is working and my cousins are in school during the day) care for her sister in-law while my great-uncle does what he can to clean and organize their home.

As much as I worry about the outcome of this re-found relationship and what it may mean for existing ones, I am more than grateful that I am now there for them.

And with this sequence of events, I’ve began wondering: Why now?

I truly believe there is a reason for everything.

Maybe, without knowing it, I wasn’t ready until now.

Maybe now is finally the time I am ready to stop following blindly; now is the time I’m ready to learn about my family’s falling out; now is the time to be there because they need me more than they have before.

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Tagged as: family, help, life, questions