Things to do, crafts to mock, people to see, websites to finish and on top of all that, there’s the monstrous task of locating and organizing all the Maddie links for March for Maddie (If you’re wanting to help locate links please email me at temptingmamaATgmailDOTcom).
I just can’t seem to find the energy to motivate myself to tackle anything. The past week zapped all of my physical and emotional energies as I tried – still try – to keep all the balls in the air. As I work to keep those balls from falling, I can feel them already beginning to slip ever so slightly that once the syncracy is thrown off I fear the will tumble to the ground.
I am lost in a fog of pain and heartache for my friends.
Three thousand miles never felt so far as it does these past few days.
:::
I return to work in less than 30 days. I am back to a regular 7 – 4 work day and I am so unbelievably conflicted about it which has made it even harder to be happy about getting back to my career.
Not to mention, I haven’t done a damn thing to prepare for it.
OMG, I have so much to do! I don’t even know where to start. Perparing for daycare… where are my boxes of books and personal work ’stuff’? Does my boss even know I’m coming back since I haven’t talked to anyone in about four months!?
Yet, it all seems far too trivial to even care about while my friends have suffered a life altering loss.
Yes, I am exhausted, worn down, lost and confused and just trying to work through it. Humour me, m’kay?
:::
Please DO NOT misconstrue this as me complaining. Though I didn’t know full well what I was getting into as I started March for Maddie, I am HAPPTY to do it. I want to do it. I NEED to do it. I will NOT stop until everything is complete for Mike and Heather. It’s just a touch overwhelming and incredibly sad reading posts after post about sweet Maddie Moo. Plus, there is more going on than just this site I am working on as a gift to Heather and Mike.
ali says:
it’s amazing what you are doing for Heather and Mike. really amazing.
ali´s last blog post..the snugglebummer
April 15th, 2009 at 12:20 pm
iMommy says:
It is amazing. After tonight (have to finish a paper) I’d be happy to help you locate links.
iMommy´s last blog post..You know that little joke, "So…" – "Buttons!"? Well, I want to. Sew buttons that is.
April 15th, 2009 at 12:28 pm
Vic says:
You’ve taken on a hell of a lot, and you’re doing it so amazingly. It’s not surprising you’re zapped, especially with the thought of your return to work looming. Hang on in there sugar.
April 15th, 2009 at 12:29 pm
Sticky says:
Hang in there, sweetie! You are doing so much…and it’s wonderful. Everything will work out with work, try not to worry. It’s so hard to go back to work, but it does get easier, promise!
Sticky´s last blog post..Snow? WTH?
April 15th, 2009 at 1:33 pm
steenky bee says:
I think what you’re doing is wonderful! You’re giving so much of yourself. Be proud now, but take a long, loooooong nap later.
steenky bee´s last blog post..Please, Help A Sister Out!
April 15th, 2009 at 8:57 pm
Midwest Mommy says:
I have wondered how you are managing to do it all. Take a breather and don’t run yourself down. You are doing a great job!
Midwest Mommy´s last blog post..Need a giggle?
April 15th, 2009 at 9:05 pm
Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] says:
You are an amazing friend. I’m honored to know you.
And I can’t wait to rub all up on you.
Drink a margarita and relaaaaaxxxxx….
Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing]´s last blog post..Chief Mom Pimp
April 15th, 2009 at 11:36 pm
maggie, dammit says:
Oh, honey. Thank you so much for all you have done, are doing. It is a very hard thing to sit and stay with raw pain while the rest of us get to run away and hide inside breaks whenever we feel like it. You are there sifting grief like flour and it’s normal and perfectly acceptable that your arm is getting sore. It is important work, and we appreciate it. Love to you my friend.
April 16th, 2009 at 8:18 am
WM says:
I would really question you if you weren’t just the slightest bit overwhelmed. That and have you fitted for a big superhero cape or S on your chest.
The gift you’re giving to Heather and Mike is incredible and probably helping to channel some of the grief. Keep pluggineg away.
You are an awesome, strong woman.
P.S…on the work thing I think I cried every day for a full two weeks when I returned after having the twins. I don’t care how much preparing you do…it’s just different when the day comes…but much like anything else it will ideally get better with time.
I’m wishing you all the best!
XO
WM´s last blog post..In memory of Maddie – Updated
April 16th, 2009 at 11:09 am
Karen Sugarpants says:
Dude, I know! you’ve worked SO freaking hard…but it’s so appreciated by all of us. xoxo
Karen Sugarpants´s last blog post..Twitter is Ruining Mah Brainz
April 20th, 2009 at 2:35 pm
nic @MyBottle'sUp! says:
keep on keepin on sistafriend. you are a gift.
nic @MyBottle’sUp!´s last blog post..the magoo’s 1st kegger
April 21st, 2009 at 3:11 pm