I love holidays. I love everything about celebrating someones birthday, Easter egg hunts, St. Patrick’s Day, Thanksgiving with family, CHRISTMAS!!, Father’s Day, Mother’s Day, the list goes on.
Mike, however does not. At all.
Growing up I remember the morning of my birthday I would be greeted by both my mom and my brother singing Happy Birthday with a gift in hand before we would head off to school. I had modest birthday parties, but there was always a party. My dad and step-mom still, to this day make a big deal of celebrating just about everything. It keeps this fresh, alive and fun!
There was always a celebration growing up; and now there’s not so much.
Mike is very much the “it’s just another day”-type. Holidays are commercial conspiracies concocted to steal away our hard earned money.
Which I don’t disagree with, but why be so cynical about it? Why not enjoy it and play along? Life is just too cold and hard as it is, what’s the harm in indulging and having a little fun once and a while? Take a break from the realist cold attitude and play along for once.
In the eight nine (holy shit! NINE YEARS.) we’ve been together only once has Mike gotten me a birthday gift, but it wasn’t by his own doing. A friend practically bought it and made him give it to me. Instead my typical birthday has included: a HUGE blowup fight (’02), being ignored (’03), forgotten (’06), and him being out-of-town for work (’07). NIICE.
It’s not that I need to have some sort of acknowledgment on “my days” because I don’t. To me, it’s more of a celebration of life and being with loved ones. Maybe a heartfelt “Happy Birthday! I love you!” in lieu of the out-of-obligation hug and peck with a mumbled “happybirthday” as he’s walking away – THAT’S IF HE EVEN REMEMBERS.
Which, by the way – my 28th birthday is Saturday. Don’t worry, I’ll remind you again.
When I had children, Mother’s Day became even more important to me because Hello! I’m a MOM! I have children! which was a token day to you know, TAKE ADVANTAGE of being fawned over and cared for.
No. I don’t NEED it. I want it. I deserve it.
After all, I birthed two nine pound children after painful months of carrying and GROWINGÂ human beings it’s really the least one could do.
When I mentioned Mother’s Day “in passing” (totally fishing for deets) Mike mentioned that he hadn’t planned anything because I’m not his mother.
Not his mother.
Apparently being the mother of his children counts for a diddly squat.
Whatever.
So this morning I was awaken as any typical day, hungry baby thrust in my face and told to get up because he can’t figure out how to make a bottle for the poor kid. Hudson’s fever has gone down but now we are fighting massive congestion and the shits. Awesome.
As I dragged ass to the kitchen to make my own coffee. For the love of Pete! There
isn’t even coffee made!? Carter came into the kitchen with his Wii steering wheel gripped firmly in both fists. He leaned into me and whisper / mumbled “Mudder’s day is a home day” and ran back into the living room.
Mike walked up to me and pecked me on the lips and mumbled the obligatory “happymothersday” as he walked back to his game of WoW (World of Warcarft).
I’ve now begun to detest holidays as they’ve continually given me The Royal fuckyouverymuch. Dear Holidays, why must you mock me so?
{ 20 comments }
my husband is the exact same way about birthdays and holidays. it upsets me, but he doesn’t care. one of these days I’m going to kick him in the nuts for it.
kdiddy´s last blog post..klassy pt. 2
Aw MAN, that totally SUCKS! My family attempts to um, I don’t know, be a little nicer to me, but really today is another normal day too! Hubby was up late with WoW (don’t know about you, but it is like his friggin mistress, sooo frustrating!) so of course as usual I have been the only one up with the high maintenance boy child since the buttcrack of dawn. But, as unappreciated as we may feel at times, I know I certainly wouldn’t give it up for anything! I may get hardly any sleep and all, but these are moments with the kids that only I get and I know that I’m gonna blink and they will be grown (and maybe then? they will not ignore me on Mothers day??)!! Anyways, Hope you have a great Mothers Day!
I’ve got one of those here too. It sucks. Major Bedhead said last year we should all meet up in New York City for a girls’ weekend and call it good.
I could deal with that….
daysgoby´s last blog post..if a tree falls in the woods, do the birds stop and listen?
Yep, I had the exact same thing before – I’m not your mother! I really like kdiddy’s idea of a swift kick in the nuts.
Now I begrudgingly get a card and some flowers. The only reason we are going out for that mediocre lunch today is because my parents are here.
Emma´s last blog post..Dinner time
Ahhh, I had an EX-husband like that. Yet he fawned over his own mother and would take her flowers for no occasion.
Seriously, one day I came home and he was carefully picking a bouquet of the best roses out of our yard. I thought, “awww, he’s gonna set them on our dining table, that’s so nice.”
I said “What are ya doing?” and he said “Picking roses for my mommy.”
When he never got me jack on a holiday unless I begged him to.
annie´s last blog post..I’m a Twit
I got the “You’re not my Mother.” speech, from my husband, yesterday. That did me in for the weekend.
Fuck it.
sherendipity´s last blog post..10 things I would like for Mother’s day:
Oh man I am sooo sorry. So I want to wish you a Happy Mother’s Day!!!
My husband made this mistake last year…. let’s just say this year was not a repeat. He knew better. LOL He did VERY well this year.
Hope you can relax some today. Happy Mother’s Day!!!
Jodee´s last blog post..Happy Mother’s Day
Wow. This sounded like it was me ranting! My hubby is was exactly the same way for most of our marriage. The last two years have been different. We were seperated once and he has never taken me for granted….but he is disabled and cannot do anything anymore. So, the thought is there now, but the ability to do is gone. Life sucks!
Jen´s last blog post..happy Mother’s Day?
I think it’s sad that he won’t indulge you when he *knows* how important it is for you.
If it helps, we didn’t celebrate mother’s day today at all here in the UK, and when we did have it in March I got diddly squat as DH was out of town and the kidlets are too young to know any better.
I get the “You’re not my mother” line too – load of bollocks I reckon.
The hubby plays/played WoW too, but I got sucked into the game too so it’s not as much of an issue for us at least.
((hugs)) to you.
Marylin´s last blog post..Happy baby is not so happy…
Aw… and you’re probably lucky enough to get all the poopy changes too huh?
Sorry you’re not getting the recognition you deserve. Take a break and don’t start planning for Father’s day too early. Or al all, whatever works.
Happy mother’s day!
Karen´s last blog post..Motherhood
“Selfish rant????”
Hon, I’m thinking you need to get a LOT more selfish.
You deserve it.
Happy mother’s day, my friend.
It sounds like he’s being a complete ass! As Maggie says, you need to start being a lot more selfish.
Just poking my head into the she-woman man-haters club meeting to say that Mother’s Day isn’t about celebrating YOUR mom, it’s about celebrating ALL moms, so basically I completely disagree with your husband. (Although I will admit it feels like a manufactured Hallmark holiday, that doesn’t change my position on what one should do.)
SciFi Dad´s last blog post..Crafting With SciFi Dad II (and Mother’s Day)
@SciFi Dad, it’s really not meant to be a man-hater post. I would expect the same had it been me not making birthday cakes, buying cards or simply acknowledging something that was important to someone I love. Had it been my mother or (if I had) a sister, I bet I would write the exact same post.
@samantha, For the record (and benefit of those who can’t detect sarcasm on the internet), I was kidding about the man-hater thing… I was the lone man posting in a comments section filled with women saying sam’s husband was an ass. For the record (in case my original comment is unclear), I think husbands should do something for their wives for Mother’s Day.
SciFi Dad´s last blog post..Crafting With SciFi Dad II (and Mother’s Day)
Gosh. I’m totally bummed after I read about your birthday “celebrations.” I think you have every right to treat your husband’s special days as spectacularly as he treats yours.
Thinking of you today while you return to work.
Lynn´s last blog post..‘Shroom a doom-doom
That’s just horrible. Seriously. My husband wouldn’t do that. And, to be honest, I wouldn’t accept it.
So he doesn’t like holidays? Does he buy you gifts or do special things on “non” holidays, just because, or for no reason? Or is it just an excuse to never have to think about someone else? Because, seriously, it sounds like he needs a huge attitude adjustment.
Happy Mother’s day anyway (a day late).
Naomi´s last blog post..I do still exist…
BOO!
we are not into huge mother’s day/father’s day celebrations either, i.e., we don’t do cards or gifts or anything…but we do allow the other a sleep-in and a coffee. he could at least DO THAT. SOMETHING.
you should NOT be making your own coffee on a day that is supposed to be celebrating you!
want me to kick his ass? hahaha.
ali´s last blog post..the yin and the yang (I still can’t believe I just wrote that…)
sad. I cannot beleive you had to make your own coffee…wait…so did I! dammit!! Happy Mothers day baby!!
Hey, by the way – I hope your first day back at work is going wonderfully! Keep breathing….
sticky´s last blog post..It was Mother’s Day?
I won’t even get started….but I do want to say Happy Belated birthday!!
Mwah!
WM´s last blog post..The kind of Parents that I wanna kick in the junk
Comments on this entry are closed.