Driving home from work I turned up the radio to escape the day. One of my recent favourite songs came on – Please Don’t Leave Me by Pink. I cranked it louder and began singing at the top of my lungs.
Then.
I really heard the words.
The words which I’ve heard before yet didn’t really think about until that moment.
I don’t know if I can yell any louder
How many time I’ve kicked you outta here?
Or said something insulting?
That Lump began to form in my throat. Unable to swallow it down, my eyes welled up with tears.
I sang louder in the hopes of drowning out my thoughts. The thoughts of how I’ve treated my husband. The thoughts of how I’ve battered him with my words repeatedly; digging deep to find something – anything – I could say that would garner some sort of reaction.
To hurt him.
How did I become so obnoxious?
What is it with you that makes me act like this?
I’ve never been this nasty
For as long as I can remember I have verbally assaulted him whenever we’ve had an argument. It was three and a half years into our relationship when I first threw something at him fully intended to harm him. Though I haven’t thrown anything in years, words are still my weapon of choice.
I forgot to say out loud how beautiful you really are to me
I cannot be without, you’re my perfect little punching bag
And I need you, I’m sorry
I’ve told him to leave.
I’ve told him I didn’t know why we were together.
I’ve said that if it weren’t for the children, I would have left a long time ago.
Can’t you tell that this is all just a contest?
The one that wins will be the one that hits the hardest
But baby I don’t mean it
I mean it, I promise
I don’t have a clue why I say these things; why I want to cause him heartache. I don’t know why I think hurting him would make things better; better for whom? I know I don’t feel better after it’s done, and I’m damn sure he doesn’t feel all that great. So why? Why do I feel the need to belittle and degrade him?
Please don’t leave me
I always say how I don’t need you
But it’s always gonna come right back to this
Please, don’t leave me
It’s a two way street. We’re both guilty of verbally assaulting each other but I can’t account for his reasons, only my own – none of which I have.
I’ve often wondered if we were together for all the wrong reasons. We began dating on a whim in college. It was summer break, there was only a small group of us remaining behind to work or complete extra course throughout the summer semester. Mike and I began hanging out more frequently and our friendship quickly crossed boundaries moving rapidly towards an exclusive relationship. From there we became engaged; bound. Though we waited another five years before we actually got married it sometimes still feels as though we rushed things.
I’ve been with him since I was eighteen. I’ve only known my adult life with him, and though I’ve grown, sometimes I feel as if he thinks he’s still living the bachelor life and we’re still in college. Much of our relationship was based on sexual attraction; the older we’ve gotten, the busier our lives have gotten, the more that has changed. It seems as though instead of learning to love each other past the sexual chemistry, we’ve struggled to know each other at all. We’re stuck in limbo.
Please don’t leave me
I always say how I don’t need you
But it’s always gonna come right back to this
Please, don’t leave me
I feel as though now I am just a mother figure for him to rely on.
Remind him to pay his tickets.
Make the phone calls.
Book the appointments.
Pay the bills.
Pick up the kids.
Make the dinner.
Wash the laundry.
Put the clothes away.
Make the bed.
I feel like he gets a free ride.
He will argue to the death that that’s not the case; though, I cannot help but feel as though I carry a significant amount of the responsibilities in this relationship.
It makes me bitter.
I resent that while I was home caring for the kids he was able to leave the house for the day.
For the record: I am extremely, undeniably happy that I had that opportunity and would never change that.
I resent that he would call me at the end of his day solely to find out what was on the menu for dinner. I resent that he would come home and comment that I got to be home all day doing nothing while he had to work: that he had to go to work and bust his ass all day while I got to be home – doing nothing but sit on the computer all day. His digs have left me rather indignant.
Maybe he is bitter that I was home, I don’t know.
Now that I’m back to work it’s been a never ending battle of wills as I fight to divvy the household duties while I feel he fights to keep his child-like freedom.
I think it’s played a considerable part in how I’ve been struggling and so miserable as of late.
:::
The other night I blew up over his caulking job on the kitchen sink. We fought. I yelled and said everything and anything I could to hurt him once again.
Over caulking, people.
Then as The Guilt set in I decided it was about time I tried to put into words how I’ve been feeling.
I told him how I’ve felt let down and that when I married him I thought I was gaining a partner, not a child. How we’re supposed to be a team and it feels as though we’ve been on opposite sides for so long we don’t even know how to support each other. We don’t know how to be there for one another.
I *know* there’s more beyond just the chemistry. There has to be. I know I love him. I know he loves me. We’ve been through so much and still depend on each other greatly, but – shouldn’t we have found that something by now? He says we have it but I am so filled with anger lately that I just can’t see.
I think he could be right.
J says:
I’m glad to hear it is not just our family that is going through this power struggle. I felt like I was reading my own story. I got married young, stayed home with our first born and consequently ended up taking on most of the responsibilities around the house even though I work full-time now. Sometimes I have so much resentment I fantasize about leaving, but I do know that something is there, and we just have to get through this tough time. At least, this is what I tell myself to get through the day.
Hang in there. I wish I could say if it will get better, but I can’t say for certain, because I am waiting for the same epiphany.
September 23rd, 2009 at 8:44 am
melissa says:
I’m guilty as well. I was told that my mouth is my sword. I had put some of my aspirations on hold for my family and always resented Tim for not having to do that. I wish I could help you get to the otherside, but I can’t the road there is different for everyone. I started to put me first. As hard and selfish as it sounds it’s what I needed to do. It’s going to take time, but you will get there. Your writing here and being able to reread and reflect back is a huge stuff. Not many people have the balls to do that. Me being one of them.
September 23rd, 2009 at 9:23 am
steen says:
I think a lot of relationships have some type of power struggle. My husband and I don’t argue much but when we do, it’s nothing big and blown up; it’s a little snipe-fest, taking low blows and cutting into each other. We’re both quick to flare up, and quick to cut — and just as quick to feel guilty. We’re both aware of this particular flaw but it’s hard to bite it back.
A friend of ours was in a toxic relationship. They didn’t know how to communicate very well so instead resorted to snubbing and hurting each other; despite all that, breaking up was shitty because they genuinely cared about each other but they’re just too stubborn to give any ground. I think they’re talking again, maybe even giving it another go, but unless they learn how to communicate and even let some of their defenses down, it’ll probably wind up going down the same road.
I hope you figure it out, no matter what the outcome. That’s a hard situation to be in and you are incredible for sharing it. It’s hard enough to admit faults, let alone for all the world to read. <3
September 23rd, 2009 at 10:14 am
Sincerely, Jenni says:
My husband and I share this same struggle. We are both very stubborn and very hard-headed, so when we argue, it resorts to name-calling and saying very cruel, hurtful things to each other. I know we love each other, but I agree with you– lately it seems as if I exist solely to be a mother to my two children and a pseudo-mother to him.
*sigh* It took your post to get me to admit that. Wow.
September 23rd, 2009 at 10:25 am
Anon says:
I’ve read your blog for awhile and I just wanted to comment. I’m not sure if anything I have to say will help but… here goes.
You have got to stop comparing yourself with him. No more ” I do more of this. I do more of that”. I used to think like that before but, in a marriage, it gets you nowhere. You need to stop competing with your husband and decide to do these things not only because you love him, but because you love the family. You make the bed, pay the tickets, make the dinner, wash the laundry to help the family. And with two little kids and a marriage, that’s whats important. THE FAMILY. Not you. Not him. The family.
. At first it’s hard to quiet the resentment (trust me) but after awhile it gets eaiser. Because the fighting will stop. The resentment will not linger. The stress will stop. Your kids will be happier. And you will be happier.
Marriage is a partnership, yes. But it is a fact that some partners will give/do more of one thing. And that’s okay. Some days you give more, the other days, he give more.
When I start to feel the blood boiling (“he never washes the dishes!”), I take a breath and remember what he does that I NEVER do (mow the lawn). It makes it a little better.
You can’t change him; the only person you can is yourself. And I promise if you start to act “as if”, start to act loving, like how it was when you first started dating, he will change. He will act more like a partner.
When I started acting like a girlfriend (instead of a tired, naggy wife. not that you are, but you know what i mean), everything changed. The anger from the household was gone.
Try it for 2 weeks. If I’m wrong, you’ve lost nothing.
Avitable Reply:
September 23rd, 2009 at 11:47 am
Wow, what a shitty comment.
Anon Reply:
September 23rd, 2009 at 11:55 am
Why is that shitty? I’m being honest. Sam can’t change her husband. Whatever he does, or does not do is not up to her. So maybe if tries to change her attitude or outlook (or whatever you want to call it), she will feel better. And maybe, hopefully, it will help him to “see the light” become a better partner.
Someone has to take the first step. And since he’s not writing a blog, writing how he feels (I have no idea how he feels), the advice is directed towards her. And in my situation, I had to be the one willing to drop the resentment, stop comparing myself to him, and act AS IF. Act as if I loved him, didn’t hate him at times. And you know what? It made me feel better. Made me FEEL (and act) more loving. And in turn, he acted more loving towards me. And, as a bonus, helped more around the house.
It was just my two cents. No need to get mean
Avitable Reply:
September 23rd, 2009 at 11:59 am
Because you’re doing it anonymously. Rather than offering support, you offer criticism and do so without being willing to put your name with the comment. So then it’s like an attack on Sam without the weight of the message you’re trying to give. That’s why.
Anon Reply:
September 23rd, 2009 at 1:00 pm
1) I don’t want to put my name on a blog for everybody see. I don’t want people knowing who I am (hence why I only read blogs and don’t publish them)
2) Sam knows my full name. I put my email in the comment (as required). Has my full and last name. So, she knows who I am. YOU don’t. She does. All that matters.
3) I am not attacking Sam nor do I feel like arguing with you. This is the last time I am going to comment.
I am offering my advice. And I am going to reiterate what I said before. Instead of competing with her husband, about who does more and who does less, I think people should realize that in a partnership some people will give more at certain times. That doesn’t mean one person is better or worse. And sometimes you give more, because that is what the FAMILY needs. Nevermind what you need. Never mind what he needs.
And finally, sometimes to get the anger to go away, to stop the stress, stop the resentment you need to act as if. Act as if you love your husband; stop the biting comments, the hurtful words. Because generally the cycle is: one person is hurtful, the other person is hurtful, and so on and so on.
Since Sam is writing the blog (and NOT her husband. If he was, I would tell her the same thing), I am going to suggest she needs to be the one to step up. Stop the hurtful words, the burning resentment, the competition of who does more. He may not change HIM, but I would bet it would help her feel better. Because, really? Who likes being angry all the time? I didn’t.
However, as stated before. People usually react to how they are being treated. And maybe if Sam takes the “bull by the horns”, her husband will react accordingly. And if nothing else, I think she’ll feel better.
Like I stated before, It worked for me. I stopped the cycle. I was the one who said, “enough is enough”. And frankly, it changed the whole attitude in my house. I can’t change my husband but I could change myself. Same with Sam.
Anon Reply:
September 23rd, 2009 at 1:01 pm
whoops, i meant tell HIM the same thing
kgirl Reply:
September 23rd, 2009 at 1:57 pm
Anon, I quite agree with you. I have been there too, and I think your advice is sound. Not wanting to post your name/link is what was required for you to be totally honest – nothing wrong with that. I don’t see where you were criticizing or judging, and I think it’s unfair to draw that conclusion strictly from an anonymous comment.
Here’s where I’ll get mine: You advocating treating your husband with a ‘fake it ’til you make it’ attitude. You are suggesting that a husband could be played a fool. I think that reading that could be emasculating to a husband. Perhaps that is why your comment was criticized. Personally, I think you got it bang on. It was good advice, meant to cause peace and harmony, not discord on the internet. I got that.
September 23rd, 2009 at 10:46 am
Cat says:
My husband used to tell me he didn’t know why he had married me. That I was hiding money from him. The beginning of the end of my marriage was when my husband came home and told me he’d never really loved me, and that we didn’t belong together. I was 3 months pregnant. A month later he lost his mind (literally) and while protecting my son from a violent psychopath was the first thing on my mind, the way he treated me up to that point made filing for divorce a much easier decision (although if he hadn’t tried to kill me, I’d probably still be hanging in there, desperately seeking his approval).
I guess the point of this comment is that you should try as hard as you can to respect each other and communicate. Because the less valued you feel by the other person, the easier it is to walk away. And I’m not trying to be critical of either of you… I know things are tough and you’re trying, and I hope he is too. But if it’s still fixable, throw yourself into fixing it. Being alone is hard.
I hope this comes out right. I’m trying to help and I hope my words are getting that across. Take care-
September 23rd, 2009 at 11:10 am
Jamie says:
You know, I think this is often bandied around too often, but have you considered therapy for this? I went into therapy in 2005 for anxiety, but it helped me come to terms with how I was treating my husband. I was SO passive aggressive. I was SO mean. I knew EXACTLY how to hurt him and make him feel miserable. I’m not even sure WHY I acted that way. He doesn’t belittle or demean me, is appreciative of the work I do, but I still acted like a miserable bitch to him
I’m not passive aggressive anymore. If I start feeling bad, I just tell him that I’m done doing what we’re doing because I don’t want to be mean. I’ve stopped tit for tatting about the house. It’s helped. Things are never perfect, but we’re happy. I ask for help when I need it. I’m very clear with what I need. I tell him I love him and I need him to do THIS to help me. I don’t take advantage of that. It’s been a long process and a lot of realizing that marriage is meeting in the middle, not squeezing him until he’s all onto my side.
Good luck!
September 23rd, 2009 at 11:34 am
Avitable says:
Sorry to hear that you’re going through this. It sounds like he does need to take some initiative. It doesn’t matter that he feels like he does enough – it’s how you feel that matters. If you feel like it’s unfair, that needs to be figured out. If it can be.
September 23rd, 2009 at 11:48 am
Allyson/@HBMomof2 says:
This is me. I have/had the same kind of relationship with my husband. It is a tough situation to be in for sure. I don’t want to be resentful of him “getting” to leave everyday, but sometimes I would like to go to the bathroom when I want to rather than when I get to. I think there is a difference when staying at home, just because our job is never done. By the time the damn laundry is finished there is already more in the hampers. The never ending cycle is what bugs me most and then I take the fact that I am the one on the hamster wheel out on him. Don’t get me wrong, I, like you, wouldn’t trade the fact that I have even had the opportunity to stay home with my kids, but I would like some sense of completion to the job I am doing/have done. Even some acknowledgment some days would be fine too. Hubby has figured out that sometimes a big deal needs to made of a clean house or laundry folded and put away and if he doesn’t say anything I say something to him. That honest and open (and non-bitchy – a struggle for me) communication is what has helped us, but it was after a long conversation about what we both expected from this marriage. Bottom line, you are not alone in this struggle in your home and marriage. My best friend just gave me the best advice ever the other day. She said, “Just keep talking and a solution will become clear.” I believe that if you keep talking your solution will become clear too. Sorry that you are going through this.
September 23rd, 2009 at 12:31 pm
kgirl says:
It can get pretty mean ’round my place too. We recently had a serious discussion on the plausibility of our marriage lasting, and I think it scared the shit out of both of us. We figured out what to boil it all down to, but we’re still working on how to fix it. It did, however seem like a breakthrough, and at the very least, we have both been made aware of it. And it feels like we’re healing.
You’re so not alone in feeling this way. Hope it comes to a solution that you are both at peace with.
September 23rd, 2009 at 1:46 pm
MommyGeekology says:
This is so hard. I’m proud that you were even able to put this into words, and then to hit publish? It’s hard to admit that we might be wrong, that what we do might be ugly sometimes.
I love that song, too. I sort of identify with it, my family relationships feel like that sometimes. Not with my husband but sometimes my mother, my siblings.
It’s hard to admit your own wrongdoing in a situation like that. Hard to get past the anger.
I hope that you’re able to get past some of your anger. I hope you can find some peace, because living like that is exhausting.
Someone once told me that marriage is the hardest work I’ll ever do. Aside from parenting? I’d totally agree. It’s not easy. People think it’ll be easy. It never is.
September 23rd, 2009 at 2:10 pm
Amanda says:
Oh god – I so could have written this post and have wanted to write it for a while now.
This anger – how do we get rid of it?
I’m serious.
I don’t know either.
I hope yours gets better – and soon.
September 23rd, 2009 at 3:54 pm
Karen Sugarpants says:
We were sortof here once. Probably 10 years ago when Dylan was first born. We didn’t yell so much as I cried A LOT, not knowing who I was as this new mother, suddenly responsible for what felt like everything. I was only 24 and very lost in my new skin.
When I went back to work, we worked on it. We worked and worked on it, both of us, tirelessly until we got to were we are now: a team.
There are times when I’ve said “I do A, B, C and D and you do nothing!” to which he replied, “We aren’t college roommates. There’s no need to nickel and dime everything in terms of chores.” And he was right. Sometimes he carries the load, sometimes I do, sometimes it’s divided.
Part of growing up and growing together means biting your tongue when you want to say something awful. Believe me, I know that is a hard thing to do but you both need to do it because the lack of respect for each other is really evident, from what you’ve told me.
Maybe I’m more sensitive to this because I grew up with a screaming banshee of a mother who said things to elicit reactions in the men she chose – instead of talking things out to solve a problem. Maybe it pains me to know the way you guys speak to each other. Maybe I don’t want you to hurt anymore.
I wish I could help you through this – but I will say one thing. When Mike threw you that party and secretly invited us, there was no doubt in my mind as I watched the two of you that day, that you love each other. It’s there. He is right about that. It’s there.
One thing that helped us a lot was going out on dates, once a week. We need to try that again now that things are settled down – maybe it would help you guys too? That time alone is really awesome for long deep conversations that often get to the root of the problem. Telling him how you feel without being accusatory and listening to how he feels can move mountains.
Sorry for the novel. You know I’m worried about you and what you’re going through.
xoxo
September 23rd, 2009 at 4:37 pm
Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] says:
You know I’ve gone through marital struggles just as you are. The biggest thing I learned going through it is that I had to let him make his own choices with EVERYTHING. From doing dishes to taking out the trash to paying a bill. I have to let him do it.
I know it sounds simple or even small, but really, it’s made a big difference.
I’m here for you.
September 24th, 2009 at 12:25 am
Emma says:
I could have written this too, almost exactly. No advice – just wanted to say I totally hear you. And when you figure it all out, you’ll share, right?!
September 24th, 2009 at 9:55 am
mrs chicken says:
We’ve been here, too, and it is a dark and sucky place indeed. I think you are taking the right first step by trying to articulate why you feel the way that you do, instead of going straight for the jugular.
I know that it’s easy to go for the cheap shot — I’m a big fan of saying mean shit in the moment. I’m learning, though, that those words are powerful, and they stick.
Be kind to you, Sam, if you are able. Lots of love to you.
September 27th, 2009 at 9:12 pm
MJ says:
When I started to read this post, I had to stop and make sure I was reading someone else’s thoughts. I have been there, doing that and it is so HARD. I too love this song, and when I really stopped and thought about the lyrics – WOW – my relationship with my husband to the T.
It is a daily struggle for me to not to be critical of him, but some days it is SO hard to bite my tongue. Often times the words spill out before I can even monitor them. I think some of it is if I get response out of him, then at least he is interacting with me – albeit in a negative way.
All this rambles leads to wanting you to know that you are not alone.
September 28th, 2009 at 4:12 pm
Tere says:
Having been in a similar situation (together since a young age; bachelor/child-like behavior on his part; opposite sides of every issue), I can understand your feelings and wish I had an answer, or even some words of comfort. Unfortunately, our problems were too deep to resolve and the marriage ended. This is a tough place to be, and I’m sorry you’re experiencing it.
September 28th, 2009 at 11:30 pm
Fuck you world says:
[...] Last week, I read about a relationship being questioned. [...]
October 1st, 2009 at 12:13 am
flutter says:
I think with the longest loves, we reach that level of comfort that lets us take the grandest advantage.
Because we begin to think of our love, the way we think of ourselves. I don’t know about you, but I have so much negative self talk that I can’t help for it to spill over onto him, my heart, my soulmate.
October 1st, 2009 at 12:27 am
Stone Fox says:
Why do i say mean things specifically designed to get the maximal hurt? because i want to be heard. i want my husband to stop talking and listen to me. listen. to. my. words. listen to me say that it is not always easy being at home pretending to RAVE over another fucking book about another fucking bulldozer, or not make a big deal about another pee that didn’t make it to the potty. (and don’t get me wrong, even though it is not easy, it is still what i love. i love being with my kids.) i want my husband to understand that it is demeaning to me to call what i do “easy.”
it is not easy to be the financial planner and stretch every dollar as far as possible and still feel like it’s not enough.
i want my husband to stop being all about him and start being all about me. focus on ME.
i realize this is all completely selfish. i’ve only been married for 5 years; my marriage is still too young for me to know what i’m doing. “fake it till you make it” sounds like a really interesting concept, though.
October 1st, 2009 at 12:34 am
Sheila (Charm School Reject) says:
I’m bawling.
Literally.
Tears flowing and snot running because, except for the SAHM and the circumstances around our meeting, this is my story.
I’ve been with my husband since I was eighteen and he was sixteen.
But this is my story.
It’s been eating me alive – the hypocrisy that I deal with every single day, while I pretend to not notice the harmful words I throw at him. And yet, I get all righteously indignant should my best friend’s boyfriend say anything like that to her. The same words I’ve said to my husband have put me on total defensive mode for her.
And that makes me sad.
You’ve written the words that I have had trapped inside, unable to be released.
October 1st, 2009 at 1:21 am
Nenette says:
I’m so sorry, Sam. Your anger and frustration come so clear in your post.
My husband and I went through a spot of what you’re going through after our daughter was born. He was going through his own crisis (finding a job to support his wife and now-2 children), and I was going through mine (recovering from childbirth and dealing with all the adjustments having a newborn brings). We lost each other for a while, and there was a lot of resentment and feelings of abandonment and lack of support.
Our return to “us” was gradual and required a lot of work, not on the relationship, but on ourselves. I don’t know what he did for himself, but for me, I had to find my identity all over again. And luckily, after all that, we found each other again.
It does sound like your husband isn’t acting very partner-like. He needs to start acting like an adult. I’d say let him make mistakes… let him forget to make the calls, pay the tickets, etc. Stop taking care of him, and let him see what he’s suddenly missing. Sometimes, people need a wake-up call. Sounds like he needs one.
Meanwhile, take care of yourself. Find your center. Focus on your needs.
And hopefully, you’ll both find each other again, in the end. I wish you the best. xo
October 1st, 2009 at 3:31 pm
Christina says:
For a moment, I thought you tapped into my thoughts. I could have written this same post, only substituting crying for yelling hurtful things.
I didn’t mind the old set-up my husband and I had. I didn’t even resent that he got to eat lunch in peace while I had kids to deal with. But after he was laid off, things changed. I still did as much, he did less. When I got a job out of the house, I still did much of the old stuff: paying bills, making appts. for the family, tracking school paperwork, setting out clothes, etc. Hell, I still do most of the job hunting for him.
Like you, I feel like I have an extra child, and it really frustrates me. We’ve been in therapy for nearly a year, and sometimes I wonder if it’s helping at all. I finally broke this week and told him to stop being a baby, whining about looking for a job that would satisfy his passions and just get a damn job. I feel like I’m the only one thinking of the family as a whole while he thinks of himself.
I know that somewhere under all of that resentment and anger we love each other. Finding that again is the hard part, but I’m not ready to give up yet. Sounds like you aren’t either, and I wish you all the luck in the world at finding the core of that love again.
October 1st, 2009 at 11:00 pm
Grumble Girl says:
I’m so sorry. Really. I think one can only change oneself… you can only start with you. Try to find a way to bring up your “stuff” when you’re not in the totally-deservedly-super-angry place, and begin with “I’m frustrated because…” I know that sounds hokey and trite, but all I can say is it’s been working for us for years now. I try my very best to treat my husband as if I LIKE having him around, and LOVE him like I did way bak in the day when we were all new and shiny… I know firsthand that you can’t take back what’s been said – and I’m not going to hurt my love, my friend, the person I “picked” over all the others like that ever again. I mean EVER! I shudder at the unkindnesses I used to hurl… glad that’s over now. Just try. I know it sucks the HUGE hairy dick sometimes, but just try.
October 2nd, 2009 at 11:52 am
maggie, dammit says:
I’m late on this babe but I’ve been there and I really believe it can be better. It is better for me and it can be better for you and the most important thing is recognizing it, all of it, looking it straight in the face so you both know what you’re dealing with.
You deserve only good things. I believe in you.
xo
October 5th, 2009 at 6:57 pm
moosh in indy. says:
I’m late too.
You are not alone.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Repeat.
I love you so much.
xo
October 7th, 2009 at 1:24 pm
home buying tips says:
Hi, I love your mini application which can be used with “Love Beyond the Chemistry”
October 8th, 2009 at 12:11 pm
Devilish Southern Belle says:
Like Moosh said….you are not alone. I hope you are able to rediscover one another, be good to one another, and that he’ll take some of the weight off, responsibilities-wise. Or at the very least, make peace with one another. I know firsthand how hard it is to live with having most of the responsibilities of running your lives and the resentment that comes from it.
October 20th, 2009 at 12:07 pm