29
Dec

Class of ‘99

I set up a Facebook profile ages ago thinking I would use it once and a while to stay in touch with some of the people I grew up with. It was a way to remain connected even though we’re really no longer in each other’s lives; to remain in the past while life quickly spins into oblivion and before we know it, we’re 30 and have no idea where the past ten years have gone.

I am notorious for updating my status for a day and then leaving it sit for weeks or months on end. Every time I load and refresh that website, I get nostalgic seeing the people I was friends with all those years ago. People who, at the time, were my world. People whom I spent hours upon hours with each and every day for the better part of my formative years. Those that had a significant part in molding me into the person I have become.

The only way I have kept in touch with those people has been through a volatile website which has come under fire for sharing and using our data to their advantage. Not very promising, is it? And it’s not even that I’ve managed to keep in touch with anyone through that website, but instead have managed to creep on their pages, view their photos, and for fear of being too overzealous, I comment sparingly on events in their lives. A few seemingly heartfelt congratulatory messages when someone posts photos of their nuptials or a birth of a baby. Not very personable, is it?

Last night I spent hours looking through photos belonging to those who were a huge part of my life so many years ago. Some of them barely even recognizable, after all, ten years in a long time – especially during the transition from adolescence to adulthood. Had their names or vital information not been included in their profiles, I am almost certain I would not have known it was my long lost friend had we passed on the street. That breaks my heart; the fact that these people, once so very important to me, have become strangers save the history we share.

Facebook has become the bane of my existence. I crave the ability to check and see that a former lover has married, a former best friend still remains that flighty lovable person I remember. That one of my (many) high school crush(es) is still as adorable as ever. What saddens me is seeing those whom have remained friends after all these years and I have been absolutely horrible at keeping in touch. All those relationships which have grown and changed over the years no longer include me. Most of that is my fault. As years have gone by I have become more and more reclusive. I’ve avoided reunions and gatherings. I almost never go back to my hometown to see friends who still live there. They’ve been asking me to come visit and for some reason, I just don’t. Though I long to have even a minute portion of my past life back, I make no effort to make it happen.

I found out a couple months ago that my high school is to be demolished. Years have been unkind to the old building. Its population has decreased to the point it makes more sense for such a small town to amalgamate all the schools into a simple K – 12 school and rid The Board of these older dilapidated structures which are unkempt and underused.

I’ve thought long and hard about trying to host a final class reunion in our old school gym; something along the lines of a 1995 Dance Party. As much as I’d love to do something I’m just not the planner type person. I have no idea where to start or how to even initiate something of that magnitude. Instead, I fear I will sit back and watch as the old high school is demolished and wish I had done something.

Similar to what I have been doing over the past ten years: watching from the sidelines as old relationships slip further and further into the past.

6
20
Dec

Every year I say it will be better

For as long as I can remember, I’ve procrastinated. Holidays are no different.

Every. Single. Mother. Effing. Year. I say I will start Christimas shopping in the summer. I will buy that *perfect* gift as soon as I see it and not rely on my memory to tell me what it was I was thinking of getting 6 months after I’ve seen it in the store.

Every year, I wait.

Every year it is 5 days before Christmas and I haven’t completed even half of my shopping.

This year? It’s a little more stressful seeing as we are hosting. SIXTEEN family members are embarking on our new-to-us home which is still stuck in the mid-80’s and furniture-less. For me, (since Mike’s the chef and I don’t have to worry about the turkey at all. It just magical appears on my plate.) it’s the fact that we have no furniture.

I kid you not.

Our living room is empty save the boxes which have yet to be unpacked since we moved here back in July.

My parents joke that we’ll be eating dinner sitting on the boxes, but little do they know, until Saturday morning, that was a very likely scenario.

See? PROCRASTINATION.

Did I mention there will be sixteen people at my house? Ya. And we bought a dining room table this weekend. 7 DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS.

I seem to be a gluten for punishment.

I have yet to decide on a menu, I haven’t purchased any table decorations. We only just finished buying our tree and decorating this evening.

The whole time decorating the tree, the boys were running around, throwing decorations and crying because one had stolen from the other. Mike was sitting there watching it all go down while I tried to wrangle two overtired children suffering from cabin fever. I didn’t even enjoy the fact that we were preparing for the holidays, but instead was cursing myself for being a damn moron and doing this to myself, yet again. When will I ever learn there’s a better way to do this? Clearly my lackluster approach to last minute preparation is not the anti-stress, holiday friendly way.

This week will the a disaster of buying gifts, wrapping, cooking, baking, organizing and decorating – after I get home from work. Oh, and a trip to the mall to see The Jolly Fat Man. Ya. Still haven’t done that either!

But don’t worry about me. I am totally going to start getting ready for next season come July. Promise.

8
16
Dec

Because farts are the only thing keeping my stress level in check

I am insanely busy with work, more work, and my husband decided – while we’re in the midst of renovation – that we’re going to host Christmas this year.

Needless to say, I am stressed the fuck out.

And did I mention busy. Because, I’m busy.

After over two weeks of posting nothing, I am leaving you with this gem.

You’re welcome.

Sadly, I think I know how she feels.

So? What’s new with you?

6
  • Find Me Here...

    Craftastrophe

    Canada Moms Blog

  • Spreading The Love ...

    BlogWithIntegrity.com
    For The Love of Liz Violence UnSilenced
    Give Good Blog
  • Blog Business...

    Temptation Designs

    Business Directory for Toronto, ON
    Alltop - Yo!

    © 2010 temporarily me dot com. All rights reserved.
    Design by Temptation Designs Studio.