It’s been two months since I’ve taken my anti-depressant medication. Withdrawals included, but aren’t limited to dizziness, mood swings, fatigue and emotional emo-ness.
Kinda like what I went on it for in the first place. Heh.
It’s all made me question my decision, just like the first time. But this time, I held on. I waited a little longer knowing that last time I made it to this position before I gave in due to extenuating circumstances: like work troubles and then winter starting. But now even though life is still quite hairy, I feel like I have somewhat of a grasp. (Because really? There’s never a perfect scenario.) I’ve come to the realization that the drugs are partly what’s caused me to feel so “out of it”. They turned me into the zombie and made me so comatose that I was just getting by.
I’ve been struggling with trying to figure *it* out and for a while, all signs pointed to my IUD. The weight gain, the abdominal discomfort, the headaches, The Rage and acne. I was convinced I needed to have it removed. But, now? I truly believe that it was because I wasn’t consistent with my medication. I’d take it for a day or two and then forget a couple; then take it for a couple more. Now it’s gone and my thoughts are more clear, I can concentrate better and I don’t feel like I’m living in a fog anymore.
Mental clarity is a huge deal, people. Huge.
Mental health? That, I’m still working on.
Since I was diagnosed with PPD I left my doctor to make the decisions regarding my health and medications. I handed everything over to her. I don’t regret it because she’s wonderful and lovely and I trust her implicitly. I just don’t want to be medicated anymore. I want to take back my life. I want to live my life, not just get by.
My next step is getting back into running. I’ve been talking about it for months years, but I’m nervous and lack motivation. Plus, I don’t know where to start. It’s been years, YEARS, people, since I’ve ran. I know how much I used to love it and I want that again.
So runners. Your tips, links and suggestions are needed, please! Go nuts (in my comments).
Running Room? Couch to 5K? an app? a website? Let me know!
If you link more than two items in your comment it will be held for moderation, but I will manually put it through, so don’t fret. 
{ 29 comments }
I could not have chosen a better roomie for BlogHER. Well, I guess Casey really did it – but she’s quite a matchmaker.
I’m on the beginning end of the journey. And I’ve just taken up running myself.
We can do it, we can feel better. We must.
Ah, friend. I love you!! Maybe we can get Casey running and we’ll do a photo run (instead of walk) while we’re in New York!? LOL
I have a mental health problem, not related to depression, but it’s so hard. Admitting it to my friends came first, but taking that step to get help and then following through was hard for me. Even now, I HATE the fact that I’ve seen a psychologist and gotten help – don’t know why, I think it’s a bit of a defeat because I’m fiercely independent. But I’ll get there, and I’m glad I can read your blog and not feel alone when it comes to mental health
I’m glad that my writing about it helps. It helps me too. I am NOT good at talking about it with family because, even though many of them are medicated too, I still feel as though they’re going to judge every action I make, every time I get upset there’s going to be a mini-intervention (again)….
I feel more comfortable writing it out, but just know: it’s a LOOOONG process. I’m not nearly there yet.
I highly recommend Couch to 5K. I have NEVER been a runner in my life, but after my own bout with PPD/depression & getting medicated for it last fall, I finally found the strength to get started & just completed my first 5K about a week ago. I have a ways to go as far as weight loss, but running has helped me to remember that there was a time when I was in control of my body, and that I can get that back. Being stronger is a good thing! Best of luck!
See, I think the control part is something I’m looking for. I need to have something in my life that *I* am the boss of. LOL
Found this via your tweet. My best suggestion for starting to run? Do at least a half hour every time you get out there. Make yourself do it for 30 min w/o stopping. Go as slow as you need but DO NOT walk. It gets easier every single time, I promise!
I think I would keel over dead if I just went out there and ran. LOL I’ve done a far bit of walking over the past couple years and then stop for months at a time.
I can comfortably walk about 5km in less than an hour. But run straight out the gate? That scares the pee outta me.
Woah. You need to go read my last post. Am off antidepressants for the first time in awhile and also trying to do the excercise for balance.
Also got an IUD (mirena) put in a month ago. Fell out, infection, mucho issues and I’m just now getting back to normal.
We will motivate the hell out of each other to run, let’s do it!
You’re on, lady!
as someone completely out of shape who hasn’t run since highschool, I recommend couch to 5k. Emmie J suggested it to me and until the weather got horrible here, it was working. I was doing it with a buddy on twitter and we motivated each other. We found it was better to do each level twice. So Week 1 was every other day (3 days) for 2 weeks and so on. Now that spring is coming, I plan on starting over in the next week or so.
good luck!
Thanks! That’s a great tip about doing each twice. I may consider that.
Mental Health is something I know *a lot* about. Between my bi-polar disorder and my panic disorder, I’ve been on pretty much every medication ever made. Old and New. I refuse to let it win, however. And I’m thankful for a family that understands and doesn’t just say “get over it” because there is nothing more maddening to me then to hear people say “just get over it”. I think it’s fantastic that you’ve weened yourself off of your medication.
Now, to running. When I used to run back in the day when I figure skated, to get started I would go to a track (to keep distance) run a quarter lap, walk a quarter, run a quarter, walk a quarter… until I felt comfortable running half/walking half, then continuing to graduate up to distance.
Thanks for the tips, Kelly!!
I don’t really like running, but I do triathalon’s. I sign myself up for one and it’s motivation to get it done. So having a goal is really helpful for me. Last year I also did the couch to 5k podcast and it worked fairly well. My other recommendation would be to not do the same route every time.
Jenn
I never thought about the route thing. Good to know. And the podcast? Is that tips and stuff? Or do you listen to it while running?
Good for you!
Of course, I don’t have a recommendation because I’m fat and lazy.
But good for you!
ROFL!!! <3
Don’t worry about the speed or the distance. One foot in front of the other and the first second you doubt, say, “I am out here.” That is all that matters. You. Can. Do. It.
Thanks Amanda! I’m getting really pumped for it now. And you’re marathon run was a HUGE motivator too (even though it’s taken like, a YEAR for me to do anything LOL)
You’re marathon? LOL
YOUR. Frig.
Couch to 5K is awesome! I’m *soooo* not a runner — I’m more “couch” than I am “5K” — but this program is great. What’s made a big difference for me are these podcasts a friend of mine made. Search for “couch to 5K podcasts” and click on the “go nicole yourself” link. I like her taste in music, although some of it is a little explicit, so be warned, but they include an awesome countdown between the segments so you know when to stop/start running.
Good luck, mama!
HAHA, I am totally COUCH.
Thanks for the podcast idea, I’m going to look into it!
yep, i used this podcast. I liked it out better than the rest. the music keeps you going. downloaded it right to my blackberry
Can I make a suggestion? Get yourself a good pair of shoes and start with walking. Last June I started walking with my neighbour and our dogs every morning at 6am. It was, in the beginning, absolutely fucking BRUTAL…I hated it, and it nearly killed me. But within about three weeks I was moving really quickly; we were able to walk 5k in 45 minutes. By the end of the summer, I probably could have run that distance if I REALLY wanted to (which, of course, I didn’t!). I think if you start off walking, then move up to power walking, then start running, it’ll be easier for you in the long run.
I stopped walking when I got the swine flu and the weather got cold, but I’ve started up again (tho not at 6am) and it feels *good*.
Ya. I was doing that at night before it got cold too. 5km a night in about an hour. It was really nice and I felt like I could start running, but then I decided it was too cold and I wanted my couch. LOL
Now I have to start all over again. Ugh.
I was really at an all time low back in February of last year and I have to say that aside from the weight loss, which was fantastic, the change in my mood and relationship and everything else was the icing – the really yummy low fat ass slimming icing.
Giving myself those 20 minutes a day just for me was amazing – and it influenced my eating choices almost automatically because I wanted it so badly.
If the 30 Day Shred ain’t for you, then definitely do a Couch to 5K. It’s super empowering to cross a finish line, and the training isn’t too overwhelming or time consuming. We’ve got a lot of links and posts on this at TheShredheads (which I think you already know).
xo Baby. You’ll rock it.
And also, I cannot do hormones. BCP, IUD, MICKEY MOUSE (ha). They do all those things you mentioned above.
I’m not a runner, unless there’s transport to catch, but I like walking, sometimes, and dancing, a lot.
I’ve found that Saucony and New Balance make shoes that are better for wider feet, which presumably you want since you were asking for tips with fat-help.,
I love love love belly-dancing-style dance. It totally strengthens the abs and lower back, which has made my back hurt way less than it used to. So that may be something you want to incorporate into your cross-training!
Good luck! ;D
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