I’ve always found myself to be mediocre. I never excel at one thing, I never find that niche, I never perfect anything. It’s just who I am. I’ve always been jealous of those who are really great at something – be it math, basketball, styling their hair, essays – blogging!… I feel like I just get by.
There have been many instances where I could have sat down and written a post about the funny things my kids have said and done, a play-by-play of Mike and I trying to figure out how to open our pool for the very first time (for us) this season or even the HOME RENOVATIONS THAT HAVEN’T BEEN HAPPENING – but I just can’t find that writing groove. I am seriously struggling.
The thing is, personal blogging jumped the shark long ago and only the strong seem to be able to keep the genre alive.
I am not The Strong.
I feel like everything has been said ad nauseum, granted, we all have our own story to tell I feel like those who can tell it better have and will continue to, but me? I feel like the expectations of writing online have far surpassed my abilities to weave a story, to captivate a crowd, to make someone laugh until they pee, or tug at one’s heart-strings. I just don’t find that I have that capacity. Maybe it’s my fault for losing interest, for not trying harder to transcend myself to the next level…
Don’t get me wrong. I WANT to be great at something. I want to be The Go-To person for something, I just don’t know what or how to get myself there. I don’t know how to kick-start my determination to make that happen.
Maybe, just like with everything else, I am over thinking this blogging “thing” and not just enjoying it like I used to.
I need to find my mojo…
{ 19 comments }
Ummm, you write just fine.
You are great at blog design. Thanks to your work, blogs with mediocre writing such as mine look better. Perhaps that’s why people still come to my site. Because it looks good.
Never forget that making something look good is just as, if not more than, important as whatever that something is. You are great at making blogs look great.
You need to remember that you are you and that is what makes you special.
If you try to be a Dooce, or a Ree, or any of one of the umpteen ‘big name bloggers’, or force yourself to try and write like them, then you’ll lose what makes this blog special.
I think you need to start writing for yourself again and everyone else be damned.
I feel like this a lot. What I’ve learned, though, is that the community that we have, the people that visit us and comment, that is what we write for. You’re doing just fine-we’re still coming by, still commenting, still rooting you on. Keep it up. This is your space, your writing is YOU, and that’s all we ask.
I gave up having a personal blog. I wasn’t good at it. I knew I wasn’t comfortable with writing about my own life, and I did it anyway — for three years. Because that’s what women do. All the successful women bloggers I knew whenI started blogging were personal bloggers. I felt mediocre for years, not because I was a bad writer, but because I was a bad diary keeper. (Have been all my life.) You are a good writer; don’t ever doubt yourself. If you’re unhappy with personal, diary-type blogging, find something you’re passionate about and blog about it.
Even mediocre is a few steps above what I am, which is invisible.
I don’t think you’re mediocre at all; you’re definitely funny and relate-able, and have a presence in the bloggy world, at the very least.
And just look at all you’re doing with your self-improvement goals. You’re awesome!
I’ve been feeling that way about myself. Not with writing because I’m new to blogging, but with all the running and sports and things that people are involved in. I guess I haven’t found my motivation yet.
I’ve always loved your blog. When you write from your heart, it speaks to a lot of us I think. You are funny and to be honest you are one of the people on twitter I follow because of that and your determination with exercising lately. I have no good advice to give, just know your writing is appreciated and maybe if you start writing more, it will just start coming back to you again.
I love what you write. But as long as you write, I’ll read…so just keep that in mind.
I know exactly how you feel – but frankly, most of the time I feel like I don’t have the energy to be more right now. That’s what always amazes me about those people who are great – it seems to take so much time and energy and I’m not sure where they find it!
I am mediocre. You are awesome. You make me laugh until I pee often. So there.
Write for you. Write what you want. It’ll come. When you’re ready. Don’t worry about writing for us. Write for you. That’s what we enjoy.
P.S. If it counts for anything I personally think you’re the cat’s meow
You’re not mediocre. You’re a great friend, a wonderful mother, a way more talented web designer than i ever was, an amazing photographer, and you’re working on becoming an athlete.
Quit being so hard on yourself, lady. You deserve to be treated better than that!
This is the very first post that I’ve read of yours having just found your blog. I’d have to say it’s anything but mediocre! I can’t wait to read more.
I have a secret dream of having someone other than my husband read my blog but find when I start focusing on stats I can’t write. I remind myself that I do it for me and to work on my writing as well as have some stories down on (virtual) paper for my kids.
And it works until I read an incredibly crafted post like this…
Must go – I have some reading to do!
I’ve had this open on my screen since yesterday, wanting to come up with the perfect response…
You are not mediocre.
So there. Pffft!
Ok, seriously, I know exactly how you feel. I am decent in many things but master of none, but that doesn’t make me mediocre – it makes me ME, just like your talents (of which there are many!) make you, YOU.
But not mediocre. Not even on our worst day. xo
I read a great post about blogging jealously a while ago on blogher. I’ll have to try to find it for you.
I think there will always be bigger, better bloggers. I’m trying to come to terms with the fact that I am who I am. I wrote something similar today even.
I started blogging because it was fun, and when it stops being fun I’m not blogging anymore. And you are right, lately it has been less fun.
I’m with you on feeling like this. 100%.
I don’t think you are mediocre though.
Just so you know.
I’m feeling the same way, but I want to write – I just want to write somewhere where I can really truely write without judgement from personal family/friends, etc.
I need to write – I’ve got crap going on, marriage crap, mortgage crap, money crap, emotional crap, work crap, blah blah blah that I just don’t care to share on my current blog.
Growing Within Myself – new blog. new date. new time. Stay tuned. And, I’ll be damned if my real life people get ahold of this address or shitwillhitthefan.
And you’re not mediocre, butthead.
I feel the same way – I look at the stuff I wrote a few years back and think “What happened?”
Mediocrity has been a struggle of mine for a long time. It’s so weird to say, “but I’m just OK at what I do” as a complaint. It’s better than failing, but still not as good as really thriving.
I googled ‘ I must admit I will always be mediocre’
And I landed here.
This is just to say you are not the only one to feel like crap some times.
Actually I think we all have very similar thoughts about our weaknesses anyway.
I’m sure you could cite several things that you are able to do better than me and I’d be jealous if I watched you doing it. And vice-versa I could well teach you to shoot some proper hoops as you mentioned basketball
Comments on this entry are closed.