As a teenager, my relationship with my mother was anything but pleasant. Living in a home with the two of us must have been hell. Me, constantly wanting, her, constantly resisting. Typical mother, teenaged daughter-type relationship really.
Things became significantly more harried as I began to “date” an older boy. I say “date” because well, I was weeks from my sixteenth birthday, he just turned nineteen – and already had a girlfriend with whom he stayed while we “dated”.
I know. So wrong, but I was fifteen! I blame the Whore Moans hormones, because really? Hot older boy liked me!
My mom knew something was going on even though I insisted we were just friends. No matter how many times I tried to convince her otherwise, the evening phone calls which lasted HOURS upon HOURS screamed the opposite. The conversation about safe sex really never came, though there were instances which warranted it: sneaking out at night, coming in past curfew, wreaking of alcohol and cigarettes when I came home from “watching a movie at a friend’s house”. I thought I was living the high life. Then. Now, I think she knew I was reaching and was going to be hurt by this boy, but she let me learn. She let me test the waters and only when I stepped out of line was I reigned in and given a stern talking to.
I would push all limits. I would take advantage of her generosity. I would give less and expect more. I would ignore her rules.
My mom used to tell me she wished me a daughter. She wanted me to know what it was like; I don’t blame her.
Our relationship was pretty strained until I moved out at eighteen and went away to college. I think it was a blessing for both of us – and saved our relationship. As I’ve grown, had children of my own, I’ve come to realize the sacrifices she’s made for my brother and I. In retrospect I can see just how lenient she really was about many things – disobedience not being one of them. Like any parent, she did her best to raise polite, respectful children who knew right from wrong. And just like any child, I did my best to push her buttons and defy boundaries.
I see it in my children already. At almost five and two, they push, they defy, and they test.
Even though they’re boys, I think I have seen a glimpse into my future.
My mom just may get her wish.
Either that, or Karma really is a cruel, cruel bitch.
:::
This post was inspired by the book If You Knew Suzy by Katherine Rosman, which was our From Left to Write Book Club read for July. From Left to Write is a book club which was once part of the Silicon Valley Moms Blog family.
I have received no compensation except for a free copy of the book which I will giveaway to one lucky commentator. My copy is in mint condition with the expection of a few folded pages.
{ 13 comments }
My parents have a laugh from time to time about rebellious stuff my young kids do. Yes, I’m sure we will all be paying for it when our kids are teenagers!
Yeah, you just ripped a page right out of my history. My mom is definitely my friend now, but from the time I was 15 until I went to college…WOW! I, too, had an older boyfriend…who did break my heart. (thank heavens, though, he really was kind of a loser…I don’t know WHY I didn’t see that at the time) I snuck out, I drank, I pushed her buttons….and guess what. Now, I have a daughter, who at 7 has managed to find nearly all of my sensitive buttons and gleefully pushes them daily. You’re right, Sam, Karma is a cruel, cruel bitch.
Whore moans … too funny. I am terrified that my daughter will do to me what i did to my own mother. The drinking, the smoking, the lying … oh my!
Thanks for commenting Katie! I absolutely loved your book and that’s why I’ve offered to give it away to a reader! Too good to keep to myself.
I wish I had a daughter. I think I might have been able to at least bribe her into behaving during her teenage years. But maybe not.
Thank goodness we had boys. And now I wanna read that book!
You and I had similar teen years, I think. It was only my mom and I when I was growing up, and I also had a similar experience with an older boy. She let me learn, even though she knew from the beginning that it was only going to end in a lot of painful heartbreak. We were always close, but we're now a lot closer. Of course, I have two girls – so karma really plans to get me back.
Moving out definitely helps the typical mother-daughter relationship. It helps the sister-sister one too!
dont worry, we pay for the hell we put our parents through when we become parents outselves and realize what hooligans we were, its very easy to be a child but very difficult to be parents, thats only when we become parents we realize what ours must have gone through:)
My daughter will only be 4 in September, but her eyerolls and button pushing stylings would put any 13 year old to shame. I am doomed.
My relationship with my mother has never recovered from my teenage years. It’s karma that I have twin daughters. They’re four now, but (Oh, Good Lord!) they’ll be fifteen AT THE SAME TIME!
My mom likes to tell me what a pain I was, and I KNOW that I was a bit moody, but I was a GOOD teenager. I didn’t give her any problems, I was a good student, no drinking, drugs, promiscuity, sneaking out, etc. She has no idea that my sister and I were awesome, compared to what some people have to deal with! LOL this was an awesome post. Love it.
Oh, you have to blame karma. Karma can be the biggest, meanest nastiest bitch ever. Try drinking your wine out of a sippy cup – what they don’t know won’t hurt them. It worked when you were a teenager, and it will work now..
Comments on this entry are closed.
{ 2 trackbacks }