I’ve been delaying sharing what we’ve completed hoping that it would be done, but that doesn’t seem to be happening. There’s odds and ends that still need to be done, oh! and money! Money helps.

I have this issue with sharing my projects that are unfinished. I don’t know what it is, or why, but it is what it is.  So, if you could be so inclined to break down this psychological weirdness for me, I’d be forever grateful.

Until then, I am sweating and nervous to show you my kitchen, mid-transformation.

If you haven’t seen what it looked like when we moved in, here it is!

First of all, the lights. They’ve been changed out. Simple and inexpensive alternative to Teh Shit.

No more ceiling fan 6 inches from the cupboard!!

Now? Now I have sexy stainless steel a la KitchenAid.

No more broken-down-piece-of-ghetto-trash oven.

If you have a range when resembles the unit which was left here? My condolences.

The fridge looks freakin’ ginormous compared to the dinky cupboards, but trust me when I say: it’s normal. It opens to its entirety, which is more than I can say for the original fridge. Its door would hit that countertop protruding at the bottom right of this picture leaving it to only open half way. It was impossible and stupid, also boggles my mind how someone could live with that for ten years or more, which the previous owner did.

For those interested: my range, microwave, dishwasher, and fridge.

(And no, this is not a sponsored post for KitchenAid. I just love them and I’m really happy with them. BUT! If they wanted to send me small appliances in red I would not object. Just so you know.)

The lower wall area will be covered with tile backsplash; around the doorway still requires paint (which I’m doing today). I am still trying to convince Mike that we need penny round mosaic tiles. He’s concerned that if we do complete a full renovation in five years that we’ve wasted our money. But! I think it’s a way to make this space livable and beautiful for the time being and maybe even prolong the complete gut we’re saving for. And really? What a couple hundred dollars if it makes me happy.

Happy Wife, Happy Life! (That’s what I like to remind him on a regular basis. Very. Regular.

penny round tiles used in a bathroom

There’s tiling, baseboards, (hopefully) new linoleum, and finishing touches yet to be completed (like new blinds that are not metal mini blinds).

But the linoleum… oh, the linoleum.

It’s disgusting. It’s faded. It’s stained. It’s damaged.

The spot closest to the kitchen sink is so discoloured I can’t even scrub it clean. Trust me. I’ve tried. Hate.

But once again, Mike and I are wondering if this part could (should) wait. Though, five years does seem like a horribly long time to live with this shite.

I (just right now) priced it out and found that for less than $500 we can put down new sticky groutable tiles which give the illusion of tile. So yay! for new tiles!

Home Depot: Groutable Natural Concrete

Painting was a whole other demon. The thick and OLD wallpaper glue was a nightmare. After fighting for what seemed like FOREVER; washing and re-washing, sanding and re-sanding, we were finally able to remove the glue and get the paint to adhere to the wall without peeling off with each roll.

Paint colour: Cumberland Fog by Behr.

P.S. As of Sunday (yesterday) the high chair is gone. I can’t freakin’ believe it! He’s out of a high chair already!

Ahem.

This is where you come in, my dear reader(s?). I need help with artwork for the above wall.

I have these prints. I’ve been considering the red one to bring a bit of pop and colour to the space even though I am completely in love with the sage green one.

But, because of the awkward placement of the outlet I think I’ll have to break up the art a little and add some more items.

I need your ideas. I need your style and know-how to make this space work. I want to add a couple pieces that don’t necessarily match, but compliment each other and bring it all together.

So, if your so inclined, please fill my comments with suggestions: Etsy stores, your art, friends art, general ideas, prints from anywhere. I’m open!

I’m hoping my next update will be our main bath which is currently underway, and it damn well better include a conclusion to this kitchen. I am more than ready to have something DONE!

This past weekend was my very first BlogHer and since I’ve been writing on this site for over three years now, I’ve come to *know* quite a few people. I’ve become very close with a gigantic mitt full of them making it even more surreal to have those people (and more) in the same room at the same time, talking face to face. There’s no other way to describe it other than completely surreal. I mean, you know all about them: their loves, their children, their hard times, their fears and to have never laid eyes on them until that meeting and know exactly who they are is pretty fuckin’ cool.

I can’t remember which night was which nor where I’ve ever had so much fun before.

Krystle (@snarkykisses), Moi and Miss Karen (@karensugarpants) at The Sparklecorn Extravaganza hosted by MamaPop.

photo lifted from Dove Clinical Protection Photo Booth @ MamaPopRocks Sparklecorn Extravaganza

I stayed up all hours of the night living off basic necessities like coffee, pop and free swag food – and free alcohol (DUH!). I think I had one staple meal the entire weekend.

I felt like I was in college again.

Totally hugging on The Michelin Man in the Expo

Totally crushed on people I’ve been reading FOREVER like the GORGEOUS and very sizzle Sizzle.

Me and Sizzle

And her? OMG HER. I would move to Florida and live in a cardboard box just to be with her all the time.

Me and Miss Britt

My Americus twin. I don’t know what more I can say about her besides she’s funny, GORGEOUS and so generous.

Angie and Me. Us. Forever.

Oh, and she likes my bewbs.

My Ali (@alimartell), Me and my Angie, bewb lover (@alotofnothing)

Wednesday night, our BlogHer Carpoolers‘ vehicle arrived. Chevy dropped off a beautiful 2010 Equinox which I immediately fell head over heels for. It’s an amazing drive which I totally pimped out the whole time (because I wanted to, not because they plied me with alcohol and free food). I think I may have even sold it to the gas station attendant I caught drooling all over the hood.

I arrived at Miss Karen Sugarpants‘ house where she greeted me at the door with a beer in hand. Which totally makes up for her calling me a twat. Then I spooned her and snored sweet nothings in her ear for about two hours before we got up and headed out on our eight hour drive to Chicago. Giddy like little high school girls we crossed the border into Americus blaring Britney Spears while Karen earned her new moniker @karengrannypants.

And America? Can you please talk to Target about opening their doors at 7:00am. Kthxbai.

Arrived in Chicago short on hearing (I think @karengrannypants forgot her hearing aid back home because the stereo was louder than loud and my ears were ringing for DAYS) where we met up with my twin, my stalker (WUUUUT?) (P.S. Fuckin’ LOVE her), Miss Shash and my dearest Avitable (Yes, I said dear). A warm welcome indeed.

After finding our room and cracking open our WalMart beer (I never thought I could love WalMart or America more) we met up with Mrs. Flinger (but don’t click that link because Ree has beaten Leslie’s server to a pulp and there’s nothing there.) in the hall as they stuffed bags for the Room 704 Party. Skype doesn’t do that woman justice people. Mrs. Flinger is all kindsa awesomesauce!

Thursday night has become a blur of FINALLY meeting my imaginary friends, parties and swag.

Seriously? What is this swag y’all are talking about? I’ve never even heard of swag. Swag gives me hives.

(If you haven’t listened to Dane Cook’s ‘The Nothing Fight’ then that will mean absolutely nothing to you, just carry on.. we’re walking… we’re walking…)

I know Craftastrophe won a weapon, I drank some beer and walked about six city blocks at 3 o’clock in the morning only to turn around and go back to the hotel.

I paid for a conference pass yet didn’t attend one panel. I’m not sad about that in the least. Because you know what? That conference pass was worth just being a part of those Community Keynotes (Can’t find a link to video at the moment, sorry!) and the Room of Your Own sessions. I stressed a little that I was wasting my money not attending them until that Community Keynote. Then I KNEW why I was there.

Friday night’s Nikon Cocktail Party was totally fabulous. Met some goreous women, and hung out with some of my favourite ladies while I contemplated approaching Carson Kressley but shied away from his lips critisism fame and watched from a distance.

Can I just tell you that party? So well put together, so much fun pretty well the highlight of the trip.

Or so I thought.

Because that was BEFORE I made it to the Sparklecorn Extravaganza.

Oh.

My.

Gah.

I didn’t even get any cake, just a giant unicorn leg of fondant icing.

Unicorn cake. OMFG.

picture from amysprite’s flickr. Go see. She’s AMAZING!

But like Karen said: The party was like a HUGE wedding without all the boring stuff.

And then I went all Gene Simmons on Mrs. Flinger.

So ya. That’s BlogHer.

Ahem.

Oh! And Casey. My dear sweet Casey.

Nothing but perfection.

Another amysprite pic.

________________________

Side Note:

I wanted to thank you all for your outpouring of support during our difficult time in The House of Me. I don’t think I’d be as sane right now if it weren’t for you. So thank you from the bottom of my cold, dark, shriveled heart.

I love you.

There are interviews being conducted with the children starting in two weeks. I haven’t decided if I should be there or just have Carter talked to someone without me there. I’m working through that at the moment.

We close on our new house TODAY. Our internet will be cut from this afternoon until the 11th of August so I have no idea when I’ll be checking in again. I’ll do my best to keep up with e-mails for The Business and I’ll be here and there when my addiction sees that it’s time to head to the nearest WiFi location.

<3

P.S. None of the photos are mine. I’ve stolen each and every one of them. There’s been NO time to download my camera. If you click the photo it will link you to its rightful owner.

I’m going through a slump. I don’t know if it’s this lackluster design, my brains or the fact that I’m overwhelmed with other tasks in my life, but I am just not feeling like writing typing here at the moment. I try. I agonize over something to write type. I start, I hate it and throw it in draft before I erase it all together.

I look at my stats and the agony increases. The stats show the suckage and it ain’t pretty people. I could just walk away and work on my other online responsibilities, but I don’t want to. I want this space. I want this space to be fun again! I want to love this space like I used to when I first began. You know the feeling. The one where you half smile and sigh when you open your browser to gaze upon a cute design hosting all your favourite images and stories of your life. People are visiting and commenting and sharing in a part of your life.

Maybe I need just need a hiatus…

In the meantime, here’s a friggin’ cute baby for you gaze upon.

Friday morning us three crazy Canadians and a handsome little baby Hudson piled into my car and made the seven twelve hour trek to Indianapolis where we invaded Casey’s house, ate her food, slept on her couch and kicked The Moosh from her room. In true Canadian fashion, we made ourselves at home the minute we crashed through her front door.

After hanging out with a couple other rowdy Canadians, Casey was truly un-phased by how *cough*classy*cough* we are, and for her to open up her home to “strangers” for the weekend was so very gracious and truly heroic because we are  loud, obnoxious and crass  ladies.

What brought us together? Our favourite preemie, Maddie.

Sunday we participated in the Indy March for Babies which took us on a five mile trek through downtown Indianapolis while we enjoyed the super warm weather and sunshine.

But that was after a truly tragic evening.

Something happened to me this weekend that I have a hard time talking about.

I don’t think I’ve cried this much in months years.

It all started with an all too innocent game of Boogie Super Star.

And ended in this.

In my defense: a) I was copying the dance moves in the game, b) I had NO idea she was filming this hot mess, and c) it made my Hedder laugh so that’s all that matters.

And one more thing? I want to take The Moosh and her mommy home and keep them forever and ever.

Today, our fourth anniversary is just like most days: me home with the kids while Mike’s working. Nothing different, just another day.

But it’s not like any other day really, because it’s today – four years ago that I was a blubbering idiot as I said my vows to love, honour and obey stand by him through think and thin.

We’ve had a lot of thin over the past year.

We’ve also had a lot of thick.

But no matter, we can always find out way back to each other.

Two years ago I wrote this:

Today while washing dishes together, Mike had a rather large knife in his hand and requested the dry towel I had hanging haphazardly over my shoulder; I leaned in for him to take it, but instead he just wiped the knife blade as the towel remained on my shoulder. I moved to avoid the shiny sharp edge that we strategically aimed towards my jugular.

He says: “Don’t worry, I wasn’t going to hurt you!”
To which I reply, “I know hon; just not keen to have a knife blade aimed at my throat.”
Mike then retorts: “I’d strangle you before I’d stab you. That way I can watch your life be slowly drained away- kinda like you do to me every. damn. day.”

Ah, the love.

To some it may seems shocking and hurtful that he’d say something like that to me, but that’s the way we’ve been since day one.

I wouldn’t have it any other way.

It’s not often anymore that I get the urge to organize / redecorate but when it hits, it’s with a vengeance. Like when I have the thought that I want something done I have to see immediate results or I obsess about it until it’s done; and it can’t be done in stages, it’s all or nothing.

You can imagine how happy this makes my husband.

I’ve been telling him for weeks now how we need more storage in the living room. I insisted on an Expedit shelf from Ikea and he was all “I’m not buying that fuckin’ garbage. I HATE IKEA! Blargh!”, and I was all, “Fuck you, I’m getting the shelf.”

So last night we headed out to Ikea to get my new shelf and baskets for the movies and kids’ toys. Mike was all, “What’s with you and fuckin’ baskets?”, and I was all, “Fuck you, I’m getting baskets.”

I loaded up the cart with six of those $24.99 grass baskets and Mike was all, “Fuckin’ baskets.”, and I was all, “Fuck you, I’m getting the baskets. So suckit.”

Yes, that’s how we talk to each other all the time. It’s fun.

As we loaded the stuff in the car, I checked his inability to stack boxes handy work at tying down the hatch of the car. I kindly mentioned, “That’s not gonna fuckin’ stay idiot. Those boxes are going to fuckin’ fall out all over the damn road.”, and he was all “Fuck off, it’s fine. Just shut up and get in the car.”

We began driving home. The first red light, wouldn’t you know 2 of the three boxes fell from the back into traffic. Thankfully there was no one close behind us that I could send Mike out into traffic to gather them while I bitched from my passenger seat we could gather the boxes to the side of the road.

I was all, “See, I fuckin’ told you. You never listen to me and see what happens.”, to which he replied, “Fuck off already. Jesus. Do you ever shut the hell up?” then I said, “Jesus is dead so I’m pretty sure he’s quiet.”

Edited to Add: And I mean Jesus is dead in his human-life form. Of course.

Then I got the look. You know the one? Where if you say one more word their head is going to impode? So I walked away and let him deal with his colossal fuck up mistake because no one wants that shit all over their car.

Now I have this shelf and about 250 DVD’s that need a new home and the baskets – yes, those fuckn’ baskets – aren’t cutting it.

The picture is not all that clear, but what I am showing you is stacked DVD’s crammed into a beautiful $24.99 basket which I pretty much fought for and it’s not working the way I want.

Not to mention – do you see Teh Awesomness that is in this collection? Cobra? Cliffhanger? Booty Call? Catwoman? Dude’s got issues.

My movies that can be seen here: Dazed and Confused, Benny and Joon, Chasing Amy, Empire Records…  good right? I rest my case.

Edited to add: Mike read the post and insisted I share with you the fact that he does own some rather excellent movies I just pointed out the shitty ones – which is true because how fun is it making fun of good stuff?

So. I have four baskets FULL to the tits with DVD’s and more that need a home.

I don’t want them just ‘out’ because I hate – with the passion of a thousand suns – the look of row upon row of DVD’s.

That’s just me. Fucked in the head and difficult.

So when Mike gets home I have to try and convince him that he should put all his movies into a CD book and store the cases in boxes in the basement. That is unless you, Oh Wise Internets, have another storage idea for me.

Because otherwise, I fear he may rip off my head and shit down my throat.

I wouldn’t put it past him. Have you seen the way he talks to me!?