What is the distance of a 20 minute drive into downtown Toronto very rarely takes less then 2 hours during the morning commute. There is very little to do while slowing watching your life slip from your grasp as you sit in this horrible traffic; I tend to amuse myself by thinking up stories about the other drivers, or I try and see what they’re doing to distract themselves from the mind numbingly slow pace of commuter rush hour traffic.
I tend to get creative (some would call it disturbing) when I think up stories; like the man the other day in the car with the license plate “IDODIRT” Wow. What the fuck were you think when you picked that one buddy?

The days that my mind just won’t think; the days that I am stuck behind some ass that decided to rear end someone, the ass that wouldn’t pull off to the side of the road when their car broke down, I tend to be a little (more) crude and a little lot more pretentious.

I caught myself earlier this week thinking some atrocious things about some of my fellow citizens; it didn’t matter who - different races, different sexes, different age categories. I caught myself being very judicious of a lot of people. I couldn’t believe that I was so harsh. Me, the thoughtful, loving, and always so mindful person was really so horrible and callous - a huge bitch! I didn’t realize how boorish I am, until I took a step back and thought about what I was thinking.

I promised myself I was going to change my outlook. I would be more positive and not so judgmental.

Today, we were driving home from picking Carter up at daycare. It was our green light, we were going straight. Then out of nowhere, a car comes through the intersection to make a left hand turn in front of our car. I thought for sure we were about to have a serious accident; either we T-bone this car or we get severely rear-ended. Luckily Mike’s quick skills averted an accident completely.
As we drive up beside the car, Mike’s cursing and swearing ready to just tear a stripe off this inconsiderate and very dangerous driver. I look over. It’s an elderly lady, not a care in the world - didn’t even realize what could of happened.

What comes out of my mouth but, “That crazy fuckin’ dig-bat! That degenerate geriatric should not have a license. She’s going to fucking kill someone! Fucksakes!”

*ahem* So maybe I’ll start being on my best behaviour - tomorrow.

So I must apologize. I’ve been very lax in the update department. I know, I know, you’ve been just dying for an update. Seriously, what update is she talking about? You’re thinking. You didn’t even noticed did you? Forget ya then.

For those that do care.

Hello? Where’d everyone go?

Excuse me, I’m in a weird mood - might have something to do with the ten glasses of wine that I’ve consumed fact that it’s Friday.

Seriously though…

Remember Mike’s quitting smoking? How can I put this nicely. He quit quitting again. I knew it would come to this. I was very supportive and didn’t bring it up at all. He came home and confessed couple weeks ago (yes, see, I was behind in updates); which I greatly appreciated. I’m just disappointed that it’s another attempt that’s come and gone with no success. Now it’s going to be another 6 months to a year before he’s going to contemplate quitting again. It’s so damn frustrating. He cops out every time with some lame-ass excuse; just drives me batty is all.
(And for those that didn’t read the original post; I am a born-again non-smoker, so yes I know how hard it is to quit.)

How about sleepy socks? You remember me writing about that? Go on. Read it. I’ll wait.
So, how about those sleepy socks? I am in the midst of testing my hypothesis and believe it to be true. I do in fact sleep better with socks on. The kind of sock does not affect my ability to sleep through the night, but rather just that they are there. I finally sleep through the night! Who woulda thunk that it was because I didn’t sleep with socks on!? All those years of hating the feeling of socks on my feet in bed; if only I had been dead tried every night to be able to get past that. Maybe if I had children earlier in life… I would have figured it out so much sooner (though, to my parent’s dismay, 25 was much too early as it was).

And, overindulgence does not cure my addiction. I really craved them last night. I thought about them and contemplated going to get some. Any sane person would have been far over this addiction after consuming so much. For that reason, I denote, I am not sane. Bob!, tell her what she’s won! Do you remember what my addiction is?

Did I miss anything that you wanted to hear more about?

Mike and I were having an in depth conversation this morning…I don’t remember what about; my attention swayed - as it normally does first thing in the morning. There was something different about him. His face looked different; he was close enough that me not wearing my contacts didn’t blur his features.
Something. different. can’t. quite. place. it.

Ah ha!

He has, what appeared to be, a dimple in his chin. Maybe it was the lighting, not sure. But I know it wasn’t there before. Weird! Can you just acquire different features like that? Now, I know it wasn’t there before, because it’s a personal dislike of mine. Not sure why or what the reason, it’s just a deal breaker for me. I am not grossed out or disgusted by chin dimples per say… just not attracted to them.

It’s been bugging me all morning if it was just my vision or if it is in fact there!

Deal breakers for me - I am big on smiles - they have to have decent teeth, little to no body hair (not like a child, but not a sasquatch), and that chin dimple.

Is there anything that is a deal breaker for you? What features do you not like in a partner, and what do you look for?

You an either post in your blog or a comment here, but I wanna know!!

P.S. Did you see the clip I put at the end of this post? Freakin’ hilarious!!

So, riding on the heels of my previous post about depression and this house. I thought I would share something. Now I haven’t been intentionally keeping it a secret as I am not embarrassed. It’s just not something that I felt like blogging about. Plain and simple.

I have been dealing with major mood swings and the urge to slaughter my husband in his sleep with a spoon and anger for the past few months. More like half a year. I didn’t think it was that bad until the day that I completely snapped about a small minuscule piece of dirt on the kitchen floor.

My mom, step-dad and Mike had a mini intervention with me in the fall - September I believe it was.. when I was the at the worst, “fuck the world” mode. I wasn’t happy with a single thing… I then took the opportunity to take a step back and realize exactly what I was doing to my family and myself. I was, in someway, dealing with depression.
I have since been taking antidepressants for my mood swings and anger. I don’t yell half as much as I had been, my patience has increased and I can deal with stressful situations much better then previously. I feel better. I have more ambition and I am happier, which in turn has improved my marriage over the past 6 months.

And not to mention, I have to drink only HALF as much as I used to until I am a belligerent drunk. Life is grand.