I thought I would give you an update but unfortunately it’s not the one I wanted to share.

I’m still fucking pregnant.

No twinges, no changes - everything is the same.

I had a doctor’s appointment on Wednesday and she didn’t seem too optimistic that anything was going to happen very soon. Still only 1cm but things have softened a little. Thanks. Thanks. A Lot. While there she even had me schedule next week’s appointment. My 41st week appointment. I can’t tell you how much that sucked. Cuz it really sucked.

I am now at the point where I am being mocked by my blog - fuck you baby astrology baby, you’re now counting down the 2 weeks I have left until the baby HAS to come out? Bitch. And, just for the record, I don’t think you’re even floating around like that anymore. Know how I know? Because my stomach is hard as a friggin’ rock and every time you move a millimetre I can feel it. Even Facebook’s getting it’s cracks in with that stupid baby ticker.

Thanks for the reminder Facebook. You’re a real fuckin’ gem.

I’m going to birth a sumo wrestler by the time the kid gets it’s shit together and vacates my uterus.

Fuck sumo wrestlers.

I really don’t think I would be as upset about going over my due date had I not already had an entire month off work. I am BORED, restless and extremely impatient. JUST GET THE HELL OUT ALREADY!

Yesterday Carter and I had a Cocktail Playdate. Yeah, that’s right. He played with his friend while I enjoyed a glass of wine with mine. I was tempted to grab the bottle straight from her hand and guzzle the entire thing down, but I should restraint and just sipped the one glass I had. I can’t tell you how hard it was not to pound that shit back and slam my glass down on the table. “They” say that a glass of wine can help things along but it really did nothing for me but increase my NEED for this child to vacate so I can drink more.

I’ve been contemplating sneaking a 6-pack into my hospital room.

Don’t judge me or I will be forced to punch you in your lady bits.

When I was living at home I was a bit of a neat freak. I had my motivation though: if I didn’t clean it my mom would - which would give her the opportunity to snoop at the same time, and I KNOW she did. She would check every single nook and cranny for things that I shouldn’t have (like beer in my closet) or weed oregano under my bed. She found it, though she never took it, surprisingly.

I remember one time, about 13 years old - the time that all girls hate their parents, I had a journal where I wrote evil and hateful things. Things I couldn’t very well say to my mom’s face, because well - she’s my MOM. Anyway, one weekend when we were at my dad’s house she cleaned my room. I know because the journal that was buried at the back of my closet was suddenly sitting on my pillow awaiting my arrival.

I don’t know if I was more pissed off at the fact that I felt like she invaded my privacy or the shame I felt for writing such hurtful things about her. That’s when I learned that there’s no where safe to hide anything.

That story really has no merit to what I was actually going to talk about.

Blame it on the pregnancy brain - yeah still pregnant. 7 days to go!

Speaking of pregnancy brain (here I go again!) I had my Mother’s Day card in my car to deliver to my step-mom for about 2 weeks. When did she finally get it? THIS MORNING. I mailed my mom’s card this morning as well. But, it’s the thought that counts? Right. Please tell me it is!

So the actual topic for today, now that I’ve COMPLETELY lost you. (Hello? You still here!?)

I think my most favourite-est part of nearing the end of pregnancy is nesting.

How fabulous is it to completely nuts on cleaning your house? Seriously. Since I left home and haven’t had the motivation of my snooping caring mother I haven’t been as neat and tidy as I once was. Not to mention the fact that I live with a man(child) who is just about one of the dirtiest things I’ve ever seen. For instance, this morning (since he’s off work for the day) he got out of the shower and put on some shorts so that he could go to the basement to search the laundry for the pair that he really wanted to wear.Well, the shorts that were CLEAN and used only for the jaunt to the basement currently reside in a lump on the bedroom floor adjacent to the hamper. Does that mean their dirty already?

Back to nesting.

[My God this is going to take forever at this rate. CON-CEN-TRATE Sam Concentrate.]

Nesting.

This morning it hits me like a huge tsunami wave. Baby. Here. Less. Than. A. Week. SO MUCH TO DO.

[Let's PRAY it's less then a week, M'kay?]

After getting a pedicure and getting my nails done I came home and began cleaning like a mad woman.

I may or may not have even cleaned up my husband’s tools in the basement.

Fo R’il. (aka For. Real.)

Monday was our bedroom - baseboards, door frames, mirrors, ceiling fan, window sills, dust - OH. THE. DUST! I’ve been vacuuming just about daily and even cleaned the kitchen floor.

I wish I had this kinda ambition all the time. Dude, I could have the cleanest house around - even while living with the dirtiest man E-VAH!

Now I just wish there was a way to easily evict a tenant that just won’t leave.

[Yes, I'm talking about the bebe in mah belly.]

♥ Thanks to all who have left comments of encouragement and love over the past couple days month. I’ve been really busy with working on completing designs before baby gets here and house stuff that I haven’t had the time I’d like to dedicate to replying to comments. I will be back to replying soon after this bundle has arrived, but in the meantime, please know that i read each and every comment and am very grateful! I just hate that I’m not participating by replying right now. I hope you understand!! ♥

Before Carter was born I had all these fantastic ideas of what we we do while I was on Maternity Leave with him. I think I may have even had the entire year planned - in my head - with days filled to the brim with library visits, shopping, swimming, trips to the bookstore, window shopping downtown, walks by the lake…

When Carter arrived I found myself confined to my house for the first couple weeks watching television as Hurricane Katrina had just struck the southern US. TV coverage was rampant and I found myself obsessing over the devastation and grief stricken for the people.

The first four months I found myself home more often then out. All these great ideas I had faded into nothing as I watched television in the mornings and cleaned in the afternoons trying to sneak in a nap or two throughout the day.

It truly was a sad existence.

On a whim I decided that enough was enough and enrolled in a Mom & Baby Yoga class. We were going to get out of the house and meet people. Enough was enough.

Now, I’ve never taken yoga before (and I haven’t again since this class actually) so I was intimidated walking in there thinking I was going to face a bunch of svelte mama - so toned, tanned and just four months after giving birth while I felt like a complete frump. Thankfully the moms were just like me. NORMAL.

Many of us bonded quite well and spent the rest of our Maternity Leaves doing things together regularly. A number of us enrolled our children into swimming classes, had mommy/baby play dates every week and even took outings to parks and sometimes just mommy dates. In the evening. At a local pub. With no children!

It was exactly what I needed and more.

I never thought that I would be a part of a mom group of any kind. I just never pictured it as ‘my thing’ but it so was. It kept me sane, in touch and made me realize that there were people I could connect with in the same stage of life as myself. I’m just so disappointed that work and family life has kept us apart since. A few of us email and chat, but I just haven’t had the time to meet up with them again.

I’m hoping that a few of us can reconnect the time around, or I can find some new moms in the area to spend time with.

:::

This post is part of the Parent Bloggers Network Blog Blast! asking you to tell us what baby-friendly outings worked for you during your rookie year as a mom? This Blog Blast! is a part of The Rookie Mom’s Handbook review brought to you by Rookie Moms.

One of two fantastic gift bags filled with more than $250 worth of goodies for moms, including the brand new BABYBJÖRN^®Baby Carrier Synergy, a child’s gardening kit from Smith & Hawken, a baby t-shirt from Scout Organic Baby, and of course, a copy of The Rookie Mom’s Handbook can be won if you participate!

Doctor’s visit to day confirmed that the baby in locked and loaded, ready to go. She said that if I hadn’t gone into labour or progressed by next Monday she’s gonna stretch me. Stretch me? As awful and painful as that may sound, it’s truly music to the ears of a 9 month pregnant lady.

I haven’t experienced the ‘lightening’ or ‘dropping’ as I had with Carter, even though she says its definitely moved down. I still have baby feet jabbing WAY up into my chest cavity and sitting normally is nearly impossible. Like now for instance, I am sitting straight as a pin, almost a little backwards to make room for what is my MASSIVE and overbearing belly.

I looked in the mirror while grocery shopping today - like the vain and shallow person that I am - and I swear I look HUGE. I didn’t think I really looked THAT big. Funny how people think they just gained a belly during their pregnancy only to look back at photos and see that in fact they are about double the size they once were.

I think I had that moment in the grocery store.

Carter’s room is complete and he moved over on Saturday. It’s not his ‘room’ though, he politely refers to it as his ‘NEW room’ - always expressive on the new - like he doesn’t want us to forget that it’s NEW.

The nursery is nearing completion. Curtain are up, everything non-baby has been removed (except for a set of Queen size mattresses that will not fit down the stairs to my basement) and all baby stuff is there. Not really ready, but there.

I had forgotten just how tiny onesies are for a 3-6 month old. Almost brings tears to my eyes.

I didn’t realize just how much I had forgetten until I found this gem:

Newborn baby, first time mom. I documented everything as per instructions by the health nurse - plus I think my brain was mush for the first three weeks anyways. See on the far right where it says dk green? Ya, that’s referring to poop colour. I kid you not.

Looking back at this, my first though was: Fuck! That’s a lot of diapers I’m gonna have to change.

And you know what?

I can’t wait.

Shit and all. I can’t wait to meet this baby!