I finally got myself some computer time last night and I did it! I worked on a design for a special client and even had the chance to start the re-design (again!) for this site. Won’t be too drastic I don’t think, the format will stay the same, just different colours, etc. I need some colourful and uplifting for spring, that’s just around the corner. Even though I am on the computer all day long at work, it’s not the same as being at home and doing stuff that I find entertaining and invigorating. Designing makes me feel better. Makes me feel like I’m good at something, even if I am completely Mickey Mouse compared to others out there.

I’ve grown up around computers. My grandpa, dad and uncle are all IT and programmer people. My dad gave me my first computer at 13 years old. My very own. I remember Christmas morning, waking up and staring at the HUGE package under the tree trying to guess what it could be.

I was shocked and elated to open it up and find an IBM 386 - used but it was glorious. I was in love. I remember the blue screen, the ugly font and horrible colour. The thing never had internet, nor was it compatible for anything. I could type a report and print it on a PC at school and play choppy boxy games.

I couldn’t have been happier.

I think just about everything I’ve learned about computers, programs, designs, etc. I’ve self taught. It’s been hit and miss and lots of trial and error, but it’s just apart of me. It’s in my blood.

My husband on the other hand?

He’s the only person I’ve ever met that has the ability to wipe out an entire hard drive with one key stroke. Computers and Mike have a relationship comparable to oil and water. Scratch that, not computers and Mike - electronics and Mike.

His macho attitude makes it impossible for him to accept that something may just be OPERATOR ERROR. He insists every. single. time. that the electronic is the culprit and it’s simply just a piece of crap.
Exhibit No. 1: The Surround Sound

Two Christmases ago, I bought him a new surround system. Save you the details, he assumes the system is cursed because it’s finicky about what bootlegged movies it will play.

Exhibit No. 2: The desktop computer - Just over 2 years old 

The computer and the internet are out to get him. He insists that everything should be lightning speed and and lag time means “This computer is fuckin’ garbage. We need a new one.”

Exhibit No. 3: My iPod

After insisting and insisting, I finally gave in a let Mike take my iPod out-of-town with him since he’s been driving about two hours one way. I was cool with it and didn’t think anything of it. At the time.

My beloved (old and perfectly fine) iPod came back Wednesday night. I was so happy to have it back and not have to listen to the horrible radio anymore. I docked it in the transistor in my car as I contemplated what to listen to first.

Then nothing.

I searched and searched and there was nothing there!

I mean nothing.

My iPod was wiped clean of any and all media.  (Thankfully he hasn’t gotten anywhere near my iTunes or I’d really be pissed since that’s where all the songs are saved.)

Mike strikes again, and I can’t help but laugh no matter how frustrating and completely annoying it is that he gets so mad that I’ve even thought that he could have done something wrong.

He’s denied any wrong doing at all; he turned it on and pressed play and everything just *poof* disappeared.

“I didn’t do anything!” he whined like a kid trying to lie his way out of trouble, “It just disappeared! I didn’t do it, it’s the iPod. It’s a piece of shit.” as he walks away muttering to himself that I should stop wasting money on all this crap that just keep breaking and I have no idea what I’m doing when I buy this shit.

[I have a feeling I need to invest in an external hard drive for all my design work before it just magically disappears when the craptacular computer just crashes. ]

Got anyone in your family who is completely incapable when it comes to electronics? What’s the worst thing they’ve done and refuse to accept that it may be them, not the electronic?

Once again, I can’t thank you enough. Your kind words over the past week (or so) have been really heartwarming. I never thought that blogging would bring such wonderful people into my life. I am truly grateful for each and every one of you.

The only thing that’s really keeping me from writing at the moment is work and my damn desktop. I’m so busy at work lately, and blogging at home has become virtually impossible (even though I’m trying right now while sitting on a HUGE pillow) since: a) Mike CONSTANTLY hogs the computer playing World of Warcraft and b) Dude, I got a fuckin’ wood chair to sit on. Normally it’s not so bad, but lately, I just can’t handle it and find myself in pain even just looking at the damn chair.

I am really missing writing regularly. Though it’s nothing articulate or educational, it clears my mind and helps me relax a little. I can bitch and moan whine share my feelings that I would otherwise keep bottled up and I feel better. That’s what counts.

So. I really need a laptop (yes, still griping about that one) or a better chair.

I think I have to get the laptop, no?

Things are better around home lately. Mike’s mood swings and all around shitty behaviour have curbed a bit lot, making him far more tolerable. Carter’s not being a shit and I just seem to be copping a little better at the moment, though I sleep a lot and and really uncomfortable already. I don’t know how I’m going to survive the next 3 months if I’m THIS uncomfortable already. Seriously, there’s going to be A. Lot. of bitching around here.

Belly is BIG. Had my 20 week ultrasound a month late. Found out the sex, and no. I’m not sharing.

I have ultrasound images to share too, but they have to wait. I’m too damn lazy to go out to the car in this shitty storm for them. You can wait another day or two - whenever I decide to post again.

Until then lovelies. Don’t forget about me!

God willing, I may actually have some ambition time to post more often.

Sorry for the sporadic posting and nothing of interest lately. I am really just not feeling it lately; in fact, I’m not feeling much.

Winter blues combined with seemingly endless illness has brought my depression on - full strength. I have no ambition to do anything, I find myself spending most of my time lazing on the couch or sleeping. I feel weighted down, like I’m just a burden on everyone.

Mike and I have been constantly bickering and arguing over the simplest things and it’s tiring - and trying. I can’t handle being called a nag and a bitch all. the. time. Even when - what I think - is a small task is requested of him, he loses his shit saying that I’m constantly nagging and never shut up. Maybe he’s right and I just don’t see it. I mean, I don’t think I’m asking too much of someone to bring the cars back in the driveway after he shovels instead of leaving them in the road. Or even a simple question like, “Did you change Carter’s bum after nap” has him exploding at me like I’m treating him like a child.

Yes, we’re both in rough places right now with him trying to quit smoking and me sick and pregnant, but it’s far more trying when we’re at each other like this all the time.

I’m seriously ready to pack my shit and leave for the next 4 months. I don’t know that I can continue to live like this. I want a marriage left once everything’s all said and done. I want a family for my children - not what we have at this moment.

So, that’s where I am. To save you the woe is me posts and, for me, the realization that everyone really has their own shit to deal with, my problems meaning very little … I’ll be here and there but for now, mostly, there.

Random. That’s what today is. All topics that really aren’t worthy of a dedicated post and well, I just have nothing else. I had planned to subject you to Belinda’s dare but I didn’t get showered on Saturday and I wore PJ’s all day Sunday was really busy this weekend.

So, hold on tight cuz this bad boy is all over the map.

Bullet style!

• We have been a little more conscious of our spending, though much hasn’t changed as of yet. Got a new budgeting software to transfer existing online banking information over rather then hoping I got it all manually. Dare I say it’s actually FUN! to see the graphs and charts of our spending habits. Now all I have to do is transfer our budget information over and I’m all set. I think I may actually like this tracking money thing. (Does that make me nerdy?)
• Mike is - as far as I know, since I don’t go to work with him - 16 days smoke free. He hasn’t tried to escape outside for some odd chore to be done and he hasn’t smelled like smoke at all. I really, really hope this is it this time. I am beaming with joy that he’s actually succeeding, but it’s so hard to get my hopes up because he’s lied about it before.
• I’m contemplating starting up designing again. I really miss it and want to get back at it. There have been a few requests from people wanting to know when I’m going to start again, so I think it’s going to be sooner then later. But! I have to fight Mike for the computer now since he’s taken over with his latest addiction. Plus, I think I am in dire need of time to sit down and work on my own design. There is so much I want to change, but finding the time has been difficult since I never have a chance to get on my damn computer.
• Due to the conflict mentioned above, Mike thinks it time to put some money aside for a new laptop for me, including designing programs - bought from a STORE!
• I have a new job, within my job, that started yesterday (hence no post). I have to pretty much follow around a senior staff member and absorb all the information he has in his brain because (I haven’t been told officially, I just think) he’s close to retirement. He’s pretty much a wealth of knowledge that needs to be tapped prior to it all being gone with him when he leaves. So until I start my maternity leave in September, I am his shadow. (The perk: I get to boss people around - including senior engineers - to make sure they are completing their project budgets and following them throughout construction. I’m really looking forward to the new challenge (and kinda the bossing around too).
• Oh, and I wonder something - this domain is due for renewal in 2 weeks. I want to transfer the registration from it’s current location to where I have my hosting, but they charge a fee. Should I wait for it to expire and then buy it again (hoping that someone doesn’t scoop it from me) or do I suck it up and pay twice. Anyone with prior experience with domain transfer, please shed some light.

I think that’s it for now.

So look for Temptation Designs! to be opening up shop again real soon! So I can work on making my budget look prettier and more back then red. M’kay?