My latest confessed crush has turned into an obsession.

Yes, Criss Angel ladies and gentlemen.

And, with my past confession post, comments from the older crowd (please, you know I don’t mean it!) seemed a little offended when I was SHOCKED! that Criss was in fact, turning 40 this year.

People, I said he was doable. That’s a GOOD thing. 40 is the new 30, it’s great to be 40, especially when you’re HAWT like Criss. But! when he is 14 years my senior it *could* turn heads, bring a lot of cradle robber comments to the forefront.

Tis all I meant my dear over the hill friends. Perhaps it is YOU that has issues with being 40, not me. *tee hee*

I’m just sayin’.

[Please direct your hate comments and emails to: getagripATgmailDOTcom. P.S. That's not a real address that I own, so you'll be sending your hate to someone unfortunate soul.]

So yeah, Criss…

*sigh* YUM!
Where was I? Oh, yes.

As I may have mentioned before, we are taking a vacation over the Christmas holidays - sans child that is not in my tummy - to Las Vegas where we will be over New Years Eve. I am so stinkin’ excited! I’ve officially begun to strategically plan my stalking of said illusionist at the Luxor hotel.

I have an idea of where he’s most likely to be found, where he lives (which is in the penthouse of the Luxor) and how I could cop a feel dry hump is leg get a hug shake his hand.

[If he ever ventures upon this while on the internet in the next 18 to 20 days, I may have to rethink my plan as there may be increased security around him, let's hope not.]

Mike’s been on this kick lately (since our sex life has dried up to about once every 2 months since I’ve been sick) where he jokes about getting a Mistress. I said I was alright with it as long as I could have a boyfriend or even a one night stand.

I mentioned that he was one of the most jealous guys I’ve ever met and it would drive him bat shit crazy if I happened to sit down and chat with a very hot man while we were in Vegas.

Mike looked at me and said: Sam, Criss is not going to sit and shoot the shit with you. You’re probably not even going to see him there. Get over it.

He knows me so well.

I played it up like I wasn’t talking about Criss at all.

But I so was.

A girl can dream, can’t she?

Did I mention I haven’t bought One. Single. Christmas gift yet?

Yeah, starting to freak out a little.

But! I have lights on my house and I have a tree and the Christmas music station tuned in the car. I’m getting there.

By the time I’m actually there, Christmas may be well over and I’ll be on a plane heading to see my Angel.

You think I could get him drunk enough to marry me in a drive thru wedding chapel?

Hmmm…. off to do more planning…..

A few confessions about me. It’s picture heavy, so be prepared.

I’ve never seen an episode of Sex and the City (I always thought it was Sex IN the City - see how little I know about it!?)

I know Kristen Davis from Melrose Place and SJP from Footloose but as for the other two? Ya, Kim Catrall is Canadian and she was Brit’s mom is Crossroads (I didn’t plan on that confession), but as for the characters on Sex and the City? Nothing.

I’ve never watched an entire episode of Grey’s Anatomy. My step-mom lent me the first season on DVD to try and get me into it, but it hasn’t even left the box.

*gasp* And I don’t see the allure of Dr. McDreamy.

Sure, he’s alright, I’ll give you that. I just remember the dorky days of Can’t Buy Me Love and can’t look past it. Sue me.

Can’t. Get. Past. It. Just. Can’t.

And…

I love really do like Britney Spears.

Good Britney:

Or Bad Britney:

I really don’t care. I heart BritBrit.

Oh, and I love me some Matthew McConaughey.

A faithful reader may know… though, my love may be waning. I know! I know! So sad.

It’s because there’s another man.

Criss Angel.

There’s just something about this:

this:

and this (enlarge for full YUM! effect):

I am so horny hot and bothered into this guy. I can’t wait until I am in Vegas over New Years so we can plan our elopement escape do the dirrty; I am so going to be camped out at the Luxor Hotel where he’s doing his Mindfreak gig right now (for the next 10 years), waiting to touch him for him.

Updated to add: I don’t know what it is about me and these older men. But Holy Baby Jesus! Criss is 40 this year!! I’d still do the nasty with him. Over and over and over!

If you met my husband you’d see that I really haven’t been into the grungy type in a while (not since high school) but Criss is so GORG!, I can’t stand it.

And TLee….

He’s nice to look at, but I don’t think he’d be touching me with a ten foot pole (a pole, not his ginormous pee-pee that everyone talks about) for I fear catching something.

Grungy rocker type dudes… my dad would be in a padded cell…. I had to think of his sanity while choosing the father of my children.

There you have it.

Now, admit a confession. I wanna hear it.

What movie haven’t you see that everyone talks about.

What secret celeb crush do you have?

Anything!

I am a pirate.

Okay, okay. I am a failed pirate.

I wanted to try the new (to me since it’s been out for about a year) Photoshop CS3 so I downloaded a pirated version used copy from LimeWire (LimeWire = LOVE!) and thought that I would give it a try and keep it if that sonofabitch was better then the CS version erase it to go by a legit copy. *cough, cough*

I brought it to work to try it out on my work computer (since I haven’t seen much of my poor baby at home) Well, Karma was swift and a HUGE bitch because my computer crashed and I had to call in outside help to get her back to life. No blue screen of death, just a Oh!Fuck!Safe!Mode! that wouldn’t convert back to normal and wouldn’t let me do anything.

But! Thankfully the wonderful computer nerd geek man from the support company was available to spend a couple hours here this morning.

So, back to work, I’m now a little behind.

I learned my lesson and now must face the backlog.

Stealing sucks. I wish it was easier.

It’s Wordpress’ fault not mine, or Britt’s. Wordpress screwed up this entry.

See exhibit B:

I really did enter it for Friday! I can count!

Now, back to your scheduled programming…

AQUA DOTS are pulled from the shelves…

Aqua Dots are dangerous?! What a surprise! Have you seen the commercial? I was horrified when I first saw these things; just wondering how safe they were and who the fuck thought that up!?

Here’s a tidbit for ya:Your mouth has saliva: saliva is WET.

The tiny dots stick together PERMANENTLY when they get wet.If that wasn’t a hazard enough… now they’ve actually recalled them over something entirely different?

…the term “industrial solvent” often is synonymous with “highly toxic.” The children who swallowed Aqua Dots vomited violently, went into a coma, and were hospitalized before recovering..

…In the body, the chemical forms gamma-hydroxy butyrate, an illegal date rape drug — so named because it was used to secretly induce a comalike state during which perpetrators raped their victims….

I could sit in an ivory tower and decide: Why yes! Let’s make a toy that looks like candy and then make sure it has DATE RAPE drugs in it! It’ll be a sure seller! Honestly. How do these people make it through the day?

Need I say more?

Seriously, what’s next?

Snow globes with cyanide? How about Operation? Now with a Real scalpel!