Really!? OMG. 40, that’s it?!

You heard it right. 40 days until Christmas. I haven’t even thought of buying gifts yet. I do this to myself every flippin’ year. I say that I’m going to get out early, that I’m going to shop online and what happens? I am the person buying the last of my gifts on Christmas Eve.
Why? Because I. am. a. HUGE. procrastinator. I am. I can’t help it; as much as I try to, I just am.

Mike is no help either. He says that we have to get out and buy something. Something. Well, hell. I can buy something. That’s not the problem. The problem is putting thought into a useful gift that someone will appreciate. That’s the most important part (to me). I want to buy something that they are going to like and to want to use. Fuck, if I didn’t I’d buy a cart of Spam and wrap them all up. But what’s the fun in that? None if you ask me.

So, here I am. The Christmas panic is rearing it’s ugly head, and I am going to be stressing for the next 39 days what to buy for my loved ones (and family).

40 days. Holy shit.

A lit-tle test. I know, I am so childish.

I have been testing my manchild to see how long this pile will remain at the bottom of the stairs to the basement. See, my beloved child Capitan Poopypants throws everything down the stairs; I usually go down at the end of the day and collect everything. One day I just didn’t have the time, or it slipped my mind. It wasn’t picked up. My loving manchild though, he passes this pile everyday when he goes to his X-box - sometimes even three times a day. He hasn’t had one inkling to pick up anything. Not one.
So, as much as it drives me mental, I haven’t picked it up. It makes me laugh because I think about the Everybody Loves Raymond episode where they have a standoff over a suitcase. Neither Ray or Debra want to put it away. The only difference is that Mike is completely oblivious to the fact that maybe he should pick up the mess for a change.

We’ll see how long he I can hold out.

Denise at Mental Excrements has been doing “Fuck Off And Die” Thursday’s in light of her recent “troubles” with UPS (which, by the way, you can just shake your head at. What a bunch of asses.). So I had a FOAD day today, and didn’t want to wait until Thursday.

*Those that may be sensitive to the f-bombs, consider this your warning.

Dear Gas Pump. FOAD.
I swiped my card two times and entered the correct pin, yet you tell me that I have an error. I know that it’s the right number and I know that it was entered correctly. Fuck you very much for making me get into my car and move to another pump because you can’t reset yourself.

Dear Man in the Ritzy car. FOAD.
Just because you drive a Bentley doesn’t mean that you don’t have to wait like the rest of us. We all wait for our chance to get on the highway and you damn well should to. WTF? You think that you’re sooo much better? Oh, and thank you for trying to cut me off too. Asshole.

Dear Parking Attendant. FOAD.
Yes, I realize that you’re busy, but you can forget about thinking I’m going to let you double park my car and hold on to my keys as well as pay a 40 dollar deposit so that I can park in your lot. And you think I’m a bitch because I say no and want to turn around? Fuck off and die.

Dear Collection Agency. FOAD.
Thank you for your your gracious letter allowing us to pay 82% of the total amount of my husband’s outstanding debt (another post all together). But please, let your punk ass agents know that when I call to pay that amount, I am not willing to tack on extra charges for incurred interests and that it’s past the date for the “without prejudice” when is BOLD it says that tomorrow is that deadline. I refuse to be talked to like I am a child and will not tolerate when someone tries to bully me over the phone. I WILL give attitude right back, and dammit, I will win.
Thank you for accepting the payment that I said I would authorize, and not a cent more. Now, FUCK OFF AND DIE.

And my dear husband. I love you very much, but FOAD. Why do you let stupid bills go without paying them and then have a collections agency call us? Do you have any concept of the fact that this. is. not. good. for. our. credit. rating.? Get it through your fucking head. How old are you, 10? FUCK!

To the site that I am working on. The stairs. They can FOAD too. I realize that it’s necessary to be able to get from the bottom of the excavation to the top. But this is ridiculous! 86 stairs, and I have to go up and down at least 6 times a day. Count ‘em; that’s 516 steps. *sigh*

Oh, and K-Fed. FOAD.
I will say that you’ve got balls. Using a sex tape to swindle millions of dollars out of your soon-to-be ex. Smart. Isn’t that blackmail though? And isn’t that illegal? Yet for some reason, you do it publicly and just might get away with it because Britney thinks she has a “wholesome image” to uphold. Geez woman, we’re not fuckin’ morons.

I feel better. *grin*

Chaotic Mom had a great idea, which she’s turned into a little contest. She’s asked that bloggers take a moment to give thanks to mothers; be it your mom, step-mom, mother-in-law, someone that was like a mom to you, friends that are great mom or even why you’re thankful to be a mom.

So here it goes:

• I am thankful for my mom. A divorcee who raised two very young children on her own for many years. We didn’t have much - materialistically - growing up but we had love and companionship from our mom, which is worth so much more. Now, being a mom myself I am in awe of how she accomplished what she did on her own. Whenever I bring it up, her comment remains the same, “You do what you have to do.” I love you Mom.
• I am thankful for my step-mom. Over the years we have become much closer and I am so grateful for that. She has been there through many life lessons and has taught me so much about being independent and resourceful. Even though she’s never had biological children of her own, she has a amazing mothering instincts and is a wonderful Grammy to Carter.
• I am grateful for my mom friends. There are so many ladies that I have met on-line and in real life that are fantastic moms and are more then willing to share their experiences to help me through and see the light at the end of the tunnel. There have been (many) moments where I have second guessed my abilities only to have them reinforced by these wonderful BTDT moms.
• I am so grateful that I am a mom. We were blessed without difficultly of conceiving, but I am grateful everyday for our special Capitan Poopypants. He’s brought out the better in me. I have learned so much about myself in the past year because of him. I am grateful that being a parent has made me a better person.

Thank you Chaotic Mom for such a great idea!