Hey, sorry it’s been so long. Busy, busy , busy here! I just got over my weekend hangover and have been trying to keep up with things around the house. My house is getting away from me, it’s filthy and gross. I dread even doing something about it because I can’t be bothered to start anywhere!

This weekend I was in my best friend’s wedding. It was so beautiful and weather was great; minus the early morning rain and dampness, the sun came out and it turned out to be a perfect day!

The evening reception was great (what I can remember of it), we had a blast. I woke up feeling fine, and my wine hangover got the best of me late in the day and all day yesterday! LOL… man oh man!

I wish I had more time to share more… I have to get Carter in the bath and cleaned up and then swtich his carseat around to be forward facing. So, I hope to be back tonight with more wonerful stories.. and yes I have a couple… LOL

BUT… enoy the dress picture Tina! It’s not the greatest one…but hopefully I will have more to share later.

Well, maybe I don’t really need therapy.. but help, lol. Any men that may have stumbled upon this blog may want to ever their eyes at this point. This ins your ONLY warning.

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Ever since I change birth control methods I’ve been a nightmare! I got an IUD after Carter was born. I had years of remembering forgetting to take my pill, break through bleeding, weight gain, and just pure annoyance. I hated it but never bothered to look into a another method. I started when I was 15; you know, that time in your life where you think that you want to start DTD and you feel so much more mature when you sneak off to the clinic during lunch and grab bags of condoms and start taking birth control.. because that day *may* come soon. Giggling all the way to class and thinking you’re so clever going to the clinic and getting a bag of condoms. LOL Those were the days…

Anyway, back to the point.
I don’t get Aunt Flow coming to visit anymore. With this IUD that I got it just doesn’t come… but PMS does, oh does it ever! I get so bitchy. Beyond bitchy. I would never admit to DH, but I can’t even stand myself sometimes! LOL

I have been freaking out over everything. The cat scratches the door and I just feel like kicking him down the stairs -I WOULD NEVER DO THIS… No one call Animal Control please! The dog whines and I want to lock her outside… Carter cries and I am ready to jump under a moving bus… you understand? I just get so angry at everything. Yes, can you say mood swings!?

So, I come home, a little later then usual. I get Carter a bottle and turn on the tv as I try and prepare dinner, read: heat up leftovers. I go in the fridge to find spilt crusted milk on the glass, rotten lettuce and an over flowing garbage…. and guess who calls?! Yup, poor Mike, I think I unleashed the demonic creature that’s been stirring for the last couple hours and just tore him a new asshole.
I even had to call and apologize I was that mean. *sigh*

I am now at the point where I have to weigh my options. Do I want to be Satan spawn for a week a month and not deal with remembering pills and not getting a visit from Aunt Flow, or do I go back on the pill and forget to take them and worry all the time? What to do, what to do.
Right now I think I can deal with being Satan spawn.. but I don’t think Mike can.

So I have been thinking. OMG, thinking! I can’t believe it! I have to somehow sweet talk the boss into giving me a raise. I know that I have barely been back two weeks, but I believe that this reflects on my years of past service as well. I am still entitled to everything that I would have been had I not been on maternity leave for a year, right? (I don’t want to be one of those people that get fired for writing shit online about work, LOL)
I know that there are new people hired that are making more then me. Granted, they have years experience that I have not. Not because I haven’t tried or anything, it’s simply age. Everyone else is 30+ at my company and there’s little ol’ me pushing 26. LOL
But I have 5 years with this company and have alot of experience for that short time (feels like a life time) under my belt. My starting wage was nothing compared to what new hires are starting out at which leaves me falling at the bottom end of the spectrum where wages are concerned.
I may just broach the topic tomorrow in a meeting and gauge his reaction (hopefully it’s not telling me to pack my shit and get the fuck out), then go from there. I just don’t know.. I just know that I hate feeling like I am not contributing to my household because every penny is dedicated to bills and debt. I hate that I have no money for me, yes, I pay myself first.. but dammit I want to be able to TREAT myself too!

* Today I had to go to a construction site. I really don’t mind going and it’s nice to get out of the office once and a while. The only thing that’s really frustrating is when the muthafucka asswipes men on site treat me like a little nobody; like I don’t know what I am talking about. (Do you think that it has something to do with the fact that I happened to be wearing pink today?) I explain things and they don’t believe me, it’s like I need to have a back up or something… so frustrating.. but I’ve gotten used to it, and it’s just something that you have to deal with when working in a muthafucka asswipes male dominated field.

* I had lunch with two friends from work today, it was nice, but I was feeling guilty for taking a longer then normal lunch break. WTH though, I hard;y ever leave the office during lunch, and it’s usually really short, so I thought - who cares? Well, *apparently* my boss may have.
When I returned to the office there was an email from him… addressed to everyone. It was really nice, congratulated on work well done, blah, blah, blah.. then the last thing was to remember that we have flexible work hours, but please do not take advantage of them. WTF!? I don’t know that it was directed at me.. there is another person in my office that is, shall we say, liberal with his breaks and “errands”. Not sure though. Hell, I’ve been there for 5 years and never once had a complaint about my work ethic or hours, but here’s that guilty / paranoid feeling again..like I always feel that it’s my fault and he’s talking about me when really I have no idea.

* Why is it that men always need “help” and if you’re not there at their beckon call, you’re doing nothing?
While Carter and his dad were taking a shower I was washing the dishes, cleaning the floor, cleaning the high chair, cleaning the table, taking out compost, playing fetch with the dog… and I get is SHIT for not helping because HE forgot to take a towel into the bathroom!! What the fuck you dick? It’s not MY fault that you leave them on the bedroom floor, or that you didn’t think ahead (as usual) and that I was outside and didn’t hear you call for help.
I have about 6 tasks I am doing at once and he can’t even take care off bath time and getting PJs on alone!? *sigh* I just have to shake my head… I don’t get it, and I fear I never will. Men.