I’m finding talking about anything other then poop and spit up difficult these days since that’s what my life is completely consumed with. And though we’re all doing great, I’m now beginning to crave adult interaction.

I’ve become very much a homebody since leaving college: partying and the need to be out and about diminished considerably. I no longer find the urge to be out on a Friday or Saturday night, nor do I feel the ‘embrarassment’ or guilt for sitting home or heading to bed at 9pm (like last night). I guess I could be considered a loner since I’m perfectly content to sit at home reading, watching television, or sitting here instead of engaging in an activity that requires getting out of the house and talking to people.

While I was working it provided the adult interaction throughout the day to keep me sane; now I find that without regular adult conversation I talk Mike’s ear off when he finally gets home from work or I constantly try to think of someone I can all and chat with (even though I hate the phone with a passion) and though it’s really not the same, writing and reading blogs seems to satisfy that need for adult conversation most times.

I think I’m slowly forgetting how to interact with people.

Small talk has become harder and more uncomfortable and I really don’t enjoy it like I used to. Unless I’ve known the person forever or we have something in common, I begin to feel out of my element and very self conscious. I never used to be like that but it’s hard to force myself back into the outgoing and personable person I once was. Being more and more introverted over time has become the norm while breaking free and regaining an extroverted personality seems harder and harder as days pass.

The importance of cleaning your gutters regularly. Wez got treez!

This time I am all about living for now. I find myself cuddling with my infant son and wishing that this stage could last for even a moment longer. Instead of putting him down so I can have a shower or put in a load of laundry, I find myself relaxing in front of the television while cuddling for just a little longer each day.

As I kiss the top of his head and breathe in his baby smell, I am not taking for granted this stage. Not this time. There is no rush to grow up, there is no wanting him to reach and surpass each milestone - it’s just about now.

Since the day after Hudson was born, I knew I wanted more children. I was undecided at first, but after seeing his wee face and how Carter interacts with him I don’t know that I am content with the thought of being 27 years old and never being pregnant again. Never having another infant. No more children. I can’t even wrap my brain around it.

As a couple we still remain undecided about whether we can, financially, have more children so I am not take this stage for granted by any means. My house can wait to be cleaned and though I get hives when I think about the state of my garden, it doesn’t compare to the time I am sharing with my second born.

Being on the computer, my blog (and yours!), has been replaced with quite time with my child (and not so quite when Carter’s home). There is no guilt, not even a second thought. I don’t have the urge that once consumed me - to be here, to read, to contribute because I am contributing to something a little bit closer to home: a little bit more significant.

I am completely content to sit in my overstuffed armchair, pinned beneath the weight of Hudson’s tiny sleeping body, our breathing in rhythm. I am alright with being completely disheveled, un-showered and covered in spit up if it means just a moment longer.

I’m horrible at keeping up with these meme type posts, I get bored of them pretty quick or I just get lazy - I think it’s the being required to post something that turns me off of them, I dunno.

[But that's one hell of a run-on sentence, you like?]

I’m gonna give it another shot because I wanna have something ‘regular’ on this site since I gave up on Thursday Thirteen after the third go around and well, I think I’ve been blogging enough about babies that I could use a little of a topic change. (Ha! Who am I kidding?)

So Weekly Winners will be my new passion since I love to take and share photos it seems quite fitting. Maybe I’ll add a couple more weekly meme- thingies if I can keep on top of this one.

I remember the day like it was yesterday.

I try to block out his thinning face, his fragile frame, his ghostly eyes. That’s not the man I knew.

I remember the hospital room filled with family.

I remember holding his hand and whispering in his ear that I loved him so.

I remember the call, the tears and the heartache.

I remember the day the cancer finally took him from us, ten years ago today, like it just happened.

I’ve written about my grandpa before.

I hate that he never had the chance to meet my children or come to my wedding. I just tell myself that he was there in spirit. That he’s always there.

He was such a special man and I miss his greatly.

I just hope he’s in a much better place: happy and carefree.

I love you grandpa.

:::

Hudson’s birth announcement: Wanna see what I really think of it?